What can I do about my little brother?

Question

He's 7 and completely helpless. He can't open his own can of pop, he can't find his own clothes, he can't clean his own glasses, and he can't prepare even a sandwich. He makes my mom, my dad and I do it all FOR him. I know he's never going to learn if he doesn't do these things himself, but my parents just aren't trying hard enough. What can I do to teach him these things? When I was 7 I could do all that and beyond!

I've also repeatedly tried to teach him these things in a calm manner, but he insists he is "too weak", or just "can't do it".

I know he can do it, I've seen him when he tries, he just doesn't want to after that. He bugs everyone until it gets done for him.

He has no medical conditions. There is no ADD, believe me, if there were, he wouldn't be able to pester us all that much.

Answer 1

Don't worry about it.. your the sister not the parent and if he asks you to do it say no.. soon he will have to ask his parents and they will get sick of doing everything for him and maybe teach him themselves.. if they ask why you wont do it simply tell them he is old enough to do it himself!

Answer 2

He's getting a payoff from being a helpless little baby. he can manipulate everyone with helplessness.
Of course you know you guys should stop doing everything for him.
What about asking him to make lunch for the family......and making a big deal of how thoughtful he was for doing it?
You guys just need to reinforce the good stuff. Raise your expectations. Give him more responsibilities.
He just might jump at the chance to exceed your expectations when he gets a huge payoff for being more competent, capable, thoughtful, considerate, etc. Give him the chance to prove how much he can do. Have him help you get breakfast together so give your parents breakfast in bed.....then give him all the credit. Act like you NEED his help.
Remember what it was like to be too little to do this, too young for that, and nobody needed you for anything? It sucks to be a kid sometimes......
And he has you to measure up to....I bet that could be quite intimidating. He feels inferior to you. Show him how important he is and how helpful he can be.....lay it on pretty think.
You want to give him huge payoffs for good behaviors.

Answer 3

Lol its ok my brother is 6 now but when he was 5 years old he didn't do much he did the same thing Im too weak or I don't feel good my brother is a lil more active now when you clear the table off with your mom and dad leave his plate their he wont do it but you cant have breakfast right with another nasty meal thats old so he has o clear it off thats what I did to my brother and it worked the next day he got all grossed out and but it in the sink it might take a day or so but I promise to you from my heart that it will work! Oh and to make a sandwich put out the stuff you need for a sandwich for him and walk away and eventully he will het hungry and he will do it I promise I did same exact thing for my brother!

Answer 4

He's got you all buffalloed doesn't he? Has you all right where he want you all. Your choice is to refuse. But your parents don't realize just how bright he is -- this is called in phychological terms, a "passive-aggressive" By doing nothing (being passive) he forces someone to do something for him (being aggressive). Until your parent get the message, all you can do is just say," You know how to do this, try it yourself. " Then ignore the whining, beacause you will get a lot if it. That's how a passive-aggressive works -- make refusing so unpleasant thatthe other person will do the requested chore. Good for you in recognizing it. Sad for your parents, since the kid will grow up (if this continues) to treat everyone this way. Pity his future friends, and his future wife, tho she will wise up and tell him to open his own beer.

Answer 5

Stop doing these simple task for him. He's use to everyone doing things for so why should he learn now. It will be even harder because now he expects it of you and your family. Survive through the tantrums he's going to throw and eventually he will start. Unfortunately, if mom and dad persist, he'll just think your being mean. BUT we know the truth. GOOD LUCK with it. Oh, if he has a medical condition, he may not be able to.

Answer 6

Aw cut him a little slack he loves you and gets your attention this way . Just ask him to participate in helping and ask him to return the favor such as asking him to retrieve something from another room for you occasionally and that sort of thing. He may enjoy doing things for you also if you get him into the habit . Also teach him good manners and that a thank you is in order.

Answer 7

Get info on people that behaved like this and show him the negative effects it can have when he becomes an adult. Encourage your parents to start teaching ur brother responsibility it will not hurt him and no woman will want a man that is helpless.

Answer 8

For starters I highly doubt at age 7 you were making your own food, most times making sandwiches requires using knives...

If your brother is the "baby" of the family then maybe they are not ready to let him grow up and enjoy helping him.

I have a son who is 6 and I do not let him use knives to make his sandwiches and I do not let him wash his own glasses because he might brake them.

I think you just need to chill out and let your brother be a kid, because aside from what you think he's still a kid and there are certain things a child cannot do and does require help.

Answer 9

He says he's too weak? It sounds like he's lazy and if the parents don't step in and teach him how to do things for himself, he'll grow up like that and live a very sheltered life.
You should have a little family meeting with your parents and tell them that they need to put their foot down. It doesn't sound like he's unhealthy and weak but it sounds like he was spoiled.
Most boys have it in them to want to be independent and do things for themselves. Boys naturally have a mans pride in them. A dominating nature.
If someone doesn't teach him to be a little independent, he's going to grow up with anxieties, phobias and mental disorders. He'll have low self esteem, depression and these things can lead to suicide!
This is an emergency! Your parents need to be told to deal with him. Don't do anything for him anymore. MAKE him do it himself. I know it sounds cruel but he is somehow brainwashed into believing that he is handicapped. HE'S JUST LAZY!

Answer 10

you and your mom and dad have to stop doing things for him so he can learn to do it for himself. My little brother was the same way. But if he asks for help-help him, just don't do it. Also, don't just drop everything all at once. If he can do one thing for himself a day then that 's a start and then you can increase the tasks he can do for himself. Also-when he does do something for himself. Give him a lot of praise and tell him that your'e proud of him and how great it all is.

Answer 11

Talk to your parents and remind them that you used to do everything that you and they do for your brother when you were his age. It seems like he's lazy and/or using you all so he won't have to do anything for himself. I think that you should suggest that your parents take him to the doctor for a check-up to get a professional opinion and hopefully the doctor will tell your parents to make your brother do things for himself so he can become independent at some point in his life. Good luck!