My boyfriend called me to tell me that he was told he was mildly agoraphobic, and if he didn’t do well on these medication he’s taking, then he will have to be put into the hospital. It was a shock for me. I love this man, he’s a great guy. I have known he is paranoid around large crowds since we started dating. Lately, He has gotten worse. He won’t leave the house with me to go shopping. If he does go he flips out and runs out the store, in tears. I feel bad, because I can tell he wants to go out and he talks about taking me out if he could. I don’t know how to help him. I want to help him the best way I can. Any advice or tips to make it easier on him and me.
2006-08-15 04:05:17 · 19 answers · asked by Samantha 3 in Health ➔ Mental Health
I want to be with him, and I wont leave him becasue he has a problem. Its also what I want. I have though about this and hes who I want to marry and be with, no matter what he has.
2006-08-15 04:30:19 · update #1
He is not paranoid around crowds, he is sensitive to so many people in one place. He sounds like a sweet sensitive person. When I had agoraphobia my husband just allowed me to stay in the house and stayed there with me. If you two want to go out, find a situation where there aren't so many people. We used to go shopping at midnight when the crowds were all at home. Go to the beach on the weekday when everyone is at work. That sort of thing. Encourage him in this way. He can gradually become more comfortable with repeated exposure. Just don't rush him. And in my opinion, this DOES NOT call for hospitalization! That was recommended for me and my husband became angry.
I have gotten over this problem and so can your boyfriend. He is lucky to have you. Feel complimented because he likes to be around you and no other person. I don't know what kind of medication he is on but Paxil made me worse. That's all I can say about that. BAD DRUG.
Can I recommend a book for your boyfriend? It helped me a lot. 'Living with Joy' by Sanaya Roman.
Good luck but he will be fine. It'll take time.
2006-08-15 04:21:06 · answer #1 · answered by a_delphic_oracle 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't really help him, he needs professional help and needs to also help himself.
I suggest you cut your losses and take this possible hospitalization/mental health help as a clue of how difficult it would be living with someone like this for a lifetime in marriage.
Your life will be a living hell if his medications become ineffective and require hospitalization after hospitalization. On the other hand, if he can get the help he needs and is stable for a long period of time, that is a different story. I suggest you think long and hard about this, love isn't enough, even though so many women think so, they find out the hard way it isn't.
2006-08-15 04:50:39 · answer #2 · answered by MadforMAC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry for you and your boyfriend.
Agoraphobia is not to be taken lightly.
Let's hope that the meds he's on right now will help. If not, the hospital really will be the best place for him until he can get his panic attacks under control.
There are also phobia therapy groups around the country that work with phobics to gradually introduce them to the things that trigger them.
In the meantime, unfortuately, there's not a lot you can do except be very supportive.
Linda Richman (Mike Myers' ex mother in law and the woman who inspired his "Coffee Talk" character on SNL) didn't leave her home for 12 years. Her book is inspiring.
Good luck to you.
2006-08-15 04:17:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are a lot of people who have some type of mental illness.
Just encourage him to seek treatment and approach difficult situations a little at a time. Try not to put undue pressure on him to go into crowd. On the other hand if it does not get better have him talk to his doctor as it is sometimes necessary to go into crowds to lead a rich life.
The reason for the hospitalization is to work up some medications of combination of medications safely and if necessary encourage him to go. You will have to decide if this illness can be part of your life together. This is your decision when weighing all the information you can get.
2006-08-15 04:19:15 · answer #4 · answered by Kenneth H 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be positive. You can try for new job if possible. Body mass index should be 20 for female & 25 for male maximum BMI= Weight in kilogram/ (Height in Meter)2 Suppose weight is 100 KG & Height is 2 Meter than BMI=100/(2) 2 =25 This is acceptable for male but for femal has to reduce weight up to 80 KGS How to remain fit & healthy? Morning before taking any thing drink warm water 4-6 glass as per body requirement. Keep your stomach half filled Keep your weigh as per you height Maintain hemoglobin level as your doctor says Do exercise or walking 30-60 minutes Do yoga ,Pranayam in place of exercise if possible
2016-03-16 22:32:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This does not seem to be "mild" agorophobia.
He has a life altering phobia. He is getting treatment. His needs
are being tended. Going into the hospital may be a good thing for him as he could get greater care and therapy there. His life is clearly not good outside the hospital.
You need to take care of your needs/ wants/ desires/ and future.
You need to decide whether this is a limitation ( and it will be a limitation) that you choose to accept for your life.
This is the time to get all the sentimentality out of the equation. Think very seriously about what you want and deserve for your life.
Considering a future with chosen mental illness ( as you will be doing by considering a continued relationship with him) is a very serious question and should not be taken lightly.
2006-08-15 04:25:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Isn't it weird how doctors are quick to write up prescriptions... Most of these meds go on to make the patient dependent upon them and give them the impression that they are worse off than they really are.
When in reality the problem could be perception and stress. Engaging in things like a good healthy diet exercise and relaxation techniques might be more beneficial.
Maybe you can ask the doctors about alternatives to medication.
2006-08-15 04:14:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
The fear he is suffering requires counseling and a balance of medications. IF the doctor recommends hospitalization, then you should support the doctor's recommendation
This is not a health issue that YOU can control or change. He needs the expertise of people who specialize in agoraphia.
2006-08-15 04:13:11 · answer #8 · answered by banananose_89117 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm really sorry to hear. If your boyfriend needs to go into the hospital for treatment those people can help. He also needs your emotional support.
2006-08-15 04:12:10 · answer #9 · answered by ngl_mccall 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the problem is getting worse, then he really needs professional help - which you say he is getting.
All you can do is be supportive. Ask his doctor if there's anything that you should or should not be doing to help.
2006-08-15 04:13:07 · answer #10 · answered by FozzieBear 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋