Ok so my bf and I have spoken about marriage numerous times. I am ready to be married (been with this man for 4 years and have a baby with him). I have to admit i am getting impatient. He said he wants to marry me, but wants to wait to ask me until he has a ring for me. I tell him he can get it from a pawn shop, cubic zirconia, or even from ebay, but since an engagement ring isnt that important to me, i am not even worried about where it comes from, or if it does at all. All I know is that we need a ring for the wedding day. He wont budge. He said it is the ring I want or nothing (i really want a solitaire). I dont need one!
Should I just wait or try to keep nudging him towards the other alternatives? I know we dont have TONS of money but we can always upgrade later when we have the $$.
2006-08-15 03:53:24 · 10 answers · asked by mixedchick4blkguys 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Nudge away honey! Infact, go buy him a ring! I usually say dont try and force a man because he will ask you when he is ready, but if you have already talked about and all he is doing is waiting for $$ to buy you the perfect ring, then go for alternatives. Or, try and help him add to your ring fund. that way he can get you what you want!
Good luck!
2006-08-15 04:00:24 · answer #1 · answered by glorymomof3 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
While I admire the fact that he wants to give you a ring, I'm not quite sure that's what's going on here. Is it going to be another 4 years while he earns enough to give you "the ring you want"?
Sit him down & tell him, you want to be married....now. You can't force him, nor would you want to, but he will definately know you are serious. Men don't always see the urgency as you're husband & wife to him.....somewhat.
Tell him to shop here. No one needs to know. This all may be for his own ego or he's just not ready.
http://www.limogesjewelry.com/
http://www.jewelrypayless.com/
2006-08-15 11:56:00 · answer #2 · answered by weddrev 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
baby girl, unless you do something drastically, he won't get it. it's the way of putting it off. and it's a pathetic kind. lay the ground rule and time line. ask him does he want to get marry with you. if he say yes, tell him that small right (less than $50.00) and get marry through the court. once you both have some money you guys can plan a wedding. i'm sure he needs some type of structure or guideline to follow. financial is not that important if he really want to marry you.
2006-08-15 11:04:02 · answer #3 · answered by harmony 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he is procrastinating because he isn't ready. It's time to tell him that either he sets the date or you leave. Tell him that as much as you want a ring, you want a marriage more, and you will get the ring whenever. If he wants to propose officially, he can before the wedding date, but you aren't willing to wait. It is tough love, but you don't want to wait forever.
Good Luck!
2006-08-15 11:00:56 · answer #4 · answered by emp04 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he really wants to give you the tradional gift of an engagement ring when he ask you to be his wife. Let him handle this and be patient. Do not take away from what he wants to deem as special to him because of your impatience. Let him be the man and handle how he wants to ask you and when he chooses to do so. If you love and trust this man then show him by allowing him to take the lead here.
2006-08-15 11:06:29 · answer #5 · answered by Lovinlife 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sound like he's making excuses to me ! You made a major mistake here, why did you agree to have a baby with him without firstly being married ( plenty of contraception out there ! ). Remember if you are good enough to have his childI or live with him then you are good enough to marry, it is so degrading to be trying to persuade a guy to marry you, it just sounds so desperate. Men like to do the chasing. I'm afraid that this is a case of you've made your bed now you have to sleep in it. I wish you all the best.
2006-08-16 03:36:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he just isn't ready to be married. Granted, nothing would change, but some people are very timid with the idea. Sounds to me like he's stalling. Let it be before you push him so far that he just leaves.
2006-08-15 12:25:52 · answer #7 · answered by bluez 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
even though you say that any ring will be okay, he knows that getting you the ring that you really want will make you very happy. sometimes people just want everything to be perfect.
2006-08-15 11:02:18 · answer #8 · answered by Niecy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may think the time is right but when it happens you will both know for sure
2006-08-15 11:01:11 · answer #9 · answered by robin_annalee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's probably nervous, and wants it to be perfect.
2006-08-15 11:00:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋