I am 22 years old, still in college, and still have so many things I want to do. I just got out of a 3 and a half year relationship 4 months ago and wanted to try to remain single for awhile. But I met this guy who is 26 (and AMAZING) and we have been dating for 2 months. He has a 9 month old son. When I asked why him and his sons mother aren't together anymore he said because they dated through high school and broke up for awhile and then started dating again and about 2-3 months into it she got pregnant. So they decided to be together and work things out but it just didnt work. I really like this guy, I think I am in love with him. He has already told me he loves me. Honestly things couldn't get any better, we have a great time together no matter what we do. I am scared about the whole kid thing and afraid I might regret not staying single for awhile and doing things I haven't had a chance to do. I thik I am more scared of what my family will think about me dating someone with a kid
2006-08-15 03:52:38 · 24 answers · asked by indplscoltsfan20 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If he's a good father to his child, then what does it matter? Don't overlook a potential relationship just because he has a child. If you decide to date him, plan some events that'll involve the child, get to know the kid.
2006-08-15 03:58:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, to be honest this is only something you can really answer. Some people that have no kids and are just starting their life out, choose not to date people with kids. It's a personal choice and all I can tell you is that I myself would not be bothered either way. The truth is if you love the guy and can enjoy the child, then go for it. Just make sure that you are sure about it, because one thing that is certain his child will be there and be at the top of his list of priorities. So you need to take the situation seriously and want to be in the childs life as well as his fathers.
2006-08-15 04:07:16 · answer #2 · answered by str8tequila80 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Danger, Danger, Danger! If you dont love him yet then please I beg of you to let it go! Cause now you have your whole life ahead of you and dont want or need all that baggage im telling you. What if yall get to to point where yall are discussing moving in together or marriage, do you want to be with someone who has a child then? Its only gonna get more complicated as time goes on and more secrets will unfold as time goes on. Your just thinking about liking him for now which is fine and all but what if yall get in an committed relationship the longer your with someone the harder it is to leave. Even though you might not be ready for all that now you still should date people with marriage potential cause never know if that person your dating might be the one. You dont want someone who had there first child, there pride and joy with some other woman. Dont you want your first child to be his first child too. Thats an experience you want to share with your mate. He has already shared that experience with someone else, not a good look.
2006-08-23 02:01:18 · answer #3 · answered by michelle m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advice is SLOW DOWN really really slow. I am a single mom with a son and all I can say is since the child is soooo young you need to be careful cause they are gonna grow up with you being a part of their life and if your not sure things would work out you need to think about how it will effect them. Even though you are not the childs mother if you were to split up if would almost be, to the child, like losing another mom. I just went threw this with my son when me and my bf broke up he asks about him all the time and it breaks my heart to think that things didn't work out and now I have to start all over again.
2006-08-23 01:59:58 · answer #4 · answered by exotic69n 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't worry about what other people think and your family only wants the best for you so if you decide to go with this just stay strong and tell them he makes you happy, its understander bale to be unsure but ask yourself are you ready to play second fiddle I'm sorry to say this but this but his child will always come 1st at 22 to can you deal with that some people can and some can't i was 18 when i meet the love of my life he 29 and we loved each other so mush but he had to kids from his previous relationship one was 2 and the other was 5 when i met him and don't get me wrong i love them but it put to much presser on are relationship he always put them 1st and that's not wrong but at 18 i was to young to already have a ready made family i was with him 2 yrs but it became to hard because i still wanted to live my life i wanted to do it with him but in his eyes he'd already done that im now 22 now and i no i want to start life with a new partner at the same level so we grow together but at the end of the day it is up to you but you do need to think about it
2006-08-15 04:23:57 · answer #5 · answered by freedom 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
RUN! I am a 21 year old female and am dating someone who is 26 as well. The kid will always come first before you and it means that the ex will forever be in your life.
2006-08-15 04:11:54 · answer #6 · answered by Scully 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do it. I was 24 when I dated a guy who was 43 and had a 15 yr. old daughter. I was closer in age to her then him and he was very immature. Went out on a few dates and ended it. The kids always come first - you will be second to everything. It will suck.
2006-08-15 03:57:13 · answer #7 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't let the crumb snatcher stand in your way. Right now you would just be dating the dude. That doesn't make you a step-mom. Now after dating him for a while you decide you want to marry him, then I can only assume you are prepared to love his child the way you love him. But for now, you are just dating him, the kid doesn't make any difference. (all the guys I know have kids, (me to) its not that big a deal)
2006-08-15 04:00:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, don't worry what your family will think honey. This is YOUR life & you have the right to be happy - don't you? They want to see you happy - that's what really matters to them ~ (speaking as a mom myself that is)
Only you can decide if you want to continue with dating him? Yeah, having a kid is a HUGE deal, but his son is part of him, he is part of his life. Seems to me like you really like him, and hey - how many good guys are there out there? I mean really?
On the other hand, you are young - you have your whole life ahead of you...you said yourself that there are lots of things you want to do - well....IF you continue with this guy and it gets more serious and things progress, you'll be a stepmother...are you ready to deal with that? Are you ready to make the sacrifices that come along with "parenthood"...
Sweetie, only you can decide these things - but remember this one thing - you have the right to be happy and only YOU can decide what that takes........
2006-08-15 04:00:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's you that has to live with the guy with the kid. Not your family what do you think of a guy that marries a woman with a kid is he a loser? is he dumb? or is he a guy that fell in love with a woman with a kid. Don't put your family in this. Be honest with yourself and to him. If you don't want anchor around your neck say so and move on.
2006-08-15 04:05:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋