am i too specific in my search for companionship ?

Question

i have spent 4 years looking for a slim attractive lady who has blonde hair, blue eyes and is aged around 27 with intelligence,independance and a sense of humour. she should be passionate, compassionate, sophisticated and cultured.

if it is too unrealistic, am i really asking for anything thats unrealistic ?
i mean if it is not possible to find a lady with any of these qualities, which ones should i ignore ?

Answer 1

Probably...I've spent 7 years looking for a man over 6ft, slim, green/hazel/brown eyes, with or without hair, intelligent, creative, SOH, 5 years either side of 40, who has a job.

I've met many men with "issues" (ok total nutjobs) that fit that bill. I fell for a 28 year old nutjob and that didnt work out. I'm not saying your ideal is wrong and dont think mine is either. BUT if one is ADVERTISING...then perhaps you are looking for someone that you lost?

I feel that the person we NEXT look for personifies the one we lost...which is why when my hubby died I looked for someone like him. When I met a new guy with long hair and a quirky SOH...I then wanted someone like him. When I fell for a bald guy..I wanted someone like him (without the druggie take). When I met a new bald guy (but was 13 years younger and a nutjob but not into drugs) I wanted someone like him...without him being a nutjob.

I think we all have to give it up to a degree. I was born blonde, blue eyes...but dont like being blonde (too wishy-washy) so dye my hair red. Many dark haired lasses dye their hair blonde. Age seems to be a silly number after you get past your mid-20s because you could fall for someone younger or older than yourself.

Methinks you are looking for a "look" and it doesnt have to fit your ideal. The look you want is familiar...to you. Someone you click with mentally and everything else. So, and also given females dont click with guys quicker than men do wtith women (men will root anything, women cringe if they dont like you) stop looking for the ideal if you find a breathtaking female that is short, dumb and very lovable.

You might still be in popstar (childhood) mindset...ie we all love a particular popstar but have never met them. If we did we might be totally turned off when we find they have habits that gross us out or seem stupid/boring beyond words. Where do you go from there? Eeeek!

In ads...just state YOUR attributes.....and dont diss chubbier ladies either because some are gorgeous and you might find your spirit changing to include some you never thought you'd like. One date is not going to kill you.....you'd only be at home wanking otherwise and you can still do that after the event. I'm sure most women you meet dont think you are such a prize either.....so be gracious and friendly.

And no, I'm not chubby at all......just know quite a few guys that always loved skinny women until they met "the one" who wasnt...AND guys who loved fat women until they met "the one" who happened to be slim. If you are not placing an ad.....go to sporting events or upmarket wine bars or friends parties to find someone that meets your criteria...ie no hick bars.

And for the record.....independant means she likes to party (with other guys too as she doesnt place any creed on monogamy...ie YOUR being monogamous..she doesnt trust you babe, so she will one-up you if she can) passionate means nutjob/stalker/so work orientated that you take 3rd place, compassionate means she likes animals and children way more than men or sex, sophisticated means she speaks well but likes alcohol and married guys and cultured means she expects you to be rolling in dough...so the Princess doesnt have to pay anything (unless she's old and then she will pay for everything). Why not just go for normal, nice, smart and caucasian (or whatever your heritage is)?

Answer 2

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Answer 3

Yes you are too specific and your pickiness is going to eliminate good women who may have contributed happiness and contentment to your life. There's nothing wrong with desiring certain qualities in your mate such as intelligence, independence, compassion, passion, humor, culture and sophistication, but when you are rigid in what physical attributes your mate must possess, you only hurt yourself. There might be an average sized brunette with green eyes out there ready to rock your world. If you maintain this restrictive thinking, it's going to be your LOSS.

Answer 4

Love is sumting that happens & not sought. If u fall in love all that goes out the window - u tend 2 accept everything about the person u love. However, if it's companionship ur after & not love then there is nothing wrong with having a selection criteria but u mite have 2 b prepared 2 give the criteria sum leeway, but if thats ur type then I hope she is out there sumwhere & u never know u mite find her.

Answer 5

Sorry… you missed out… she is already married to me!

Seriously though… Get a life! Four years, and you want her to have blonde hair. What the …. does the colour of a woman’s hair have to do with anything. A woman can dye her hair or wear a wig of any colour she wants… does that change what sort of person she is? Blue eyes? Are you suggesting that a woman with eyes coloured blue is any better than a woman with different coloured eyes. What if she wears blue-coloured contact lenses… would that matter?

I’m glad you mentioned a ‘sense of humour’. Sounds like she’d need one if she was hanging around with you!

Answer 6

That's not specific, that's PICKY!! Perhaps you should fix what is wrong with you first....that is you seem a bit shallow to me. Looks fade my dear....your quest should be to find your best friend and fall in love....looks should be low on your list...so should your age requirements. I'm guessing in asking this question and searching for perfect for 4 years that youre coming to a similar conclusion. Make a list of VALUES that you want in a mate. Attraction can should be based on alot more than your statistics.....I'm blonde blue eyes slim...BUT Its such a turn off when men put such emphasis on looks. I want to be loved for ME.....what if your perfect mate gets in to an accident that disfigures her.....then what....trade her in??? or has children with you and puts on a few pounds??? with those values you'll have to put a revolving door on your house!! We are not our exteriors. Look inside first and then you will see more beauty than you thought existed and perhaps find the attraction that your looking for....Best wishes

Answer 7

You want a fake barbie doll. Why cant you look beyond the outside and get to know the inner beauty of a woman she may be chubby not so pretty but have the most beautiful careing nature. Stop being a chauvinist if this is what you want go to a science lab they will make you this woman. but will you be happy? Gee your describing me except for the age.,,

Answer 8

Yes, you are ordering a woman like you would order a pizza, for God's sake! Just relax and enjoy the company of a few women that are attractive and fun to be with. You never know; your tastes in women might change once you decide to look beyond your "ideal".

Answer 9

I believe if you stop looking for love, love will find you.


And yes you are too specific. Unless you want a hooker you can get specifics.

What if your love gained 30 pounds over the years, aged some and lost her youthful attractiveness? You would still be in love.

The rest of your desired qualities can be found in a lot of women.

Answer 10

It is not necessarily bad to be selective, especially if you are a "prime catch" yourself, but you just need to be realistic about your expectations. I'm sure there is someone out there who is exactly what you are looking for, but the question is, are you willing to sacrifice potential happiness with someone else to wait for her, knowing the possibility that you may never find her or that she may not be available or she just may not want you when you find her? Good luck with your search!