Just curious as to how to deal with someone who is "always right", while trying to salvage the "romantic" relationship.
I believe that he is, indeed, a very intelligent person, but I'm no slacker in the brains department, either.
His ex used to call him "stupid" and tell him "you can't do anything without me", etc., so I know that he has a need to show people how intelligent he really is.
It has gotten to the point to where our "beautiful communication" we used to have (letters, all night conversations and- golly gee- LAUGHS) has gone by the wayside, because I can't say anything that disagrees with him, without him getting angry, giving me the silent treatment, etc.
Neither one of us like to argue and I'd rather just leave than to fight with someone I love. When it's my fault for anything, I admit it & apologize. When it's his fault, he twists everything around until he can find some crazy way for it to be my fault. I'm sick of being his whipping boy.. um.. girl.
What now?
2006-08-15 02:31:42 · 9 answers · asked by Realmstarr 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I don't understand. I am a little mouse around him. I don't nag him, I don't ask him to buy me things, I cook gourmet food, but he complains that it takes too long, I don't pay him rent, so I make sure to keep his house nice and clean.. I don't feel equal to him anymore and I don't like that. If I told him that or any of my personal feelings, it'd be my fault somehow again, trust me. He "punishes" me by turning away and ignoring me, and then he says that I'm immature. I guess I know what I should do, but I really do love him. I remember the way we used to be so happy.
2006-08-15 02:44:20 · update #1
I don't raise my voice.
2006-08-15 02:45:20 · update #2
He sounds like a younger man. First, be sure to let him know how much what he is doing bothers you (you may have done this already). Be sure to include how serious it is, that it may possibly end the relationship. Next, let him know that you really do NOT want to end the relationship, and tell him that if you are that important to him, to just consider letting more things slide. Not everything is worth fighting over. I used to be that guy. Me and my wife come from very different religious backrounds (so there were a lot of disagreemenst as you could imagine), and that is what she did to me to solve it. The one thing you can do to help him, is if he acts "huffy" for a few minutes and then tries to let it go (after a disagreement), is you can forgive him and move on yourself (because he realizes he was being wrong even if he doesn't say it). The "huffy" periods will gradually get shorter and shorter, as long as you aren't getting mad as well and helping to drag them out.
2006-08-15 02:42:44 · answer #1 · answered by Tunasandwich 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have had the same problem it is very hard to over come this but you need to stand on your hind legs in a good way. Don't raise your voice but when he says something you may disagree with let him not that, Like I understand where you are comming from but I think this is also a good idea etc. Compliment and then state you opinion as a matter of fact. When you yell or raise your voice you are just fuleing the fire. He wants confrontation the fuels him so if you don't give him any reason the person you once knoew well slowly start o emerge again.. It won't happen overnight but it will happen and it is hard at first not just to lash out how you feel.
2006-08-15 09:40:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well your you are right. Guys do think their right all the time. We hate admit we are wrong. Do you love the guy. If you are fighting this much it might just get worse. i am sorry for your problems but the best thing to do is just catch him when he is wrong and dont let him live it down.
2006-08-15 09:37:55 · answer #3 · answered by pazz 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he really loved you he would rather be contradicted than make you feel like he did in his past relationship. Sit him down and talk about it. If still doesnt get it, then its better to leav than to fight all the time.
2006-08-15 09:38:08 · answer #4 · answered by Shayla 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U just wasting yr time my dear.He chose not to cherish U then why torture yrself trying hard to salvage it?This is not a romantic relationship anymore-wake up it's a sadist-relation.Get a life,kick him outta yr life.
2006-08-15 10:33:06 · answer #5 · answered by me_imah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This man has control issues and self esteem issuess. Dont' be his whipping post. He obviously has no respect for you either. Get him out of your life and move on ASAP. You deserve better then him.
2006-08-15 09:39:26 · answer #6 · answered by pcgirl2006 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Seriously, ask to my beloved "Guru' (Girlfriend)
http://360.yahoo.com/profile-gFwA_p81eqvzRnvYf21PGqhTq1qKsTc-?cq=1
Good Luck, it is very difficult situation..
2006-08-15 15:44:56 · answer #7 · answered by The Patriot 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump him and move on. It is too much emotional baggage. You probably will not ever be happy.
2006-08-15 09:36:26 · answer #8 · answered by TropicalSun 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
being "right " all the time leaves you lonely.. he better learn that before you can't take it any more...make sure he is CLEAR on that.
2006-08-15 09:37:40 · answer #9 · answered by Life Coach 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋