I want a baby now...hubby does too but he wants to wait a little longer..Help!?

Question

I'm 26 and my husband is getting ready to turn 31 this month. We both are ready for a baby but I think I'm a little more anxious about it than he is. We are trying to save for a house & he wants to put down about $50K on a $150,000 house. Between the 2 of us we make about $94000 a year so we are financially stable. Also I work at home 5 days a week so child care is not a problem for us. He said we should try for a baby in March but I have a feeling he will change his mind when the time comes. Everytime I get excited about a house or having a baby he comes up with another plan. We already mentioned it to our parents & they are excited about us trying to conceive in March. I don't want them to get their hopes up either. I know he's trying to look out for us & make our lives easier but it's driving me crazy. Everytime we talk about a house and a baby, when the time gets near he changes the plan and it gets extended longer!! How do I keep my sanity & keep patiently waiting??

Answer 1

I'd say wait until March if that's what you already decided, but make sure you hold him to it. Don't allow him to keep making excuses and putting it off. Tell your parents- it will increase the pressure to stay true to his word.

Good luck, and have fun! ;)

Answer 2

I think that you should sit with your hubby and the two of you should really talk. Like really discuss your thoughts feelings, etc, about both the house and a baby. And listen to his as well.

To keep your sanity, I'd suggest journaling or some sort of craft. Some women might say purchase baby things in advance. I've done & do that (yes to date), and I assure you it doesn't soothe but actually adds to the anxiety during the wait/planning/conceiving period!

Men always get jittery about 3 things in life. Marriage, Babies & A Home. Be supportive of your husband when he shares his feelings/concerns, but also let him know how you feel when the plans continue to be changed time after time.

Blessings To You & Yours

Answer 3

You are only 26.. take a deep breath and enjoy... having a baby is a lot of work.. and can affect your relationship... so make sure you are both ready for the baby.. if your husband wants to wait a few months... as his wife you should respect his wishes...

it's important to have a good foundation before bringing a little being into this world...

Answer 4

First, this is all stuff you should be saying to him. Don't let him leave the room until it is resolved! Next, if he wants to wait, then wait. You don't want to have a baby with him if he isn't sure he is ready. This will be disaterous!!! (I know I spelled that wrong). You need to ask him streight out if he is putting it off so that he can come up with a reason not to do it. Don't beat around the bush about it, that will get you nowhere!! Good luck! Oh, and if the two of you decide to wait longer, don't worry about disappointing the parents, they will just have to understand.

Answer 5

You both need to have a serious discussion regarding this. It is possible that your husband has some concerns and you need to discuss them. It is also possible that your husband is not ready for the responsiblity of being a father or that he is nervous about messing it up. you need to address all these issues, but remember to be patient, and caring, You both love each other and you will both love the baby dearly when he/she arrives but sometimes one of a couple are more ready than the other. Hope it works out for you.

Answer 6

You should start trying now. A woman's fertility drops 50% after they hit 27 and it goes down hill from there. If you don't want to have to resort to using fertility treatments which can be expensive (say bye bye to the 50k), you shouldn't wait because it sometimes takes time to concieve in the first place.

Answer 7

It sounds like he may be a little scared of the commitment. Both a baby and a house are big commitments. With a baby, he can't change his mind once the baby arrives. You could ask him about his fears about the commitment aspect. Until you both get this resolved, I'd leave the parents out of it. This is not their decision, but yours & his.

Answer 8

You say he does want one but it doesnt sound like it. Ask him right out what the problem is. Does he really want children? He can grow to love one. My husband didnt want one either with his first wife but he loves his son alot. Ask him if you wait till New Years will he help you out and tell him what I said Kids are better than houses. They will help when you get older. My daughter is your age. She has two daughters in an apartment but theyre happy. Down payment can be smaller on a smaller house too.

Answer 9

if ur hubby isnt ready then you should wait, If you get pregnant on the sly he will have bad feelings toward you and the new baby, he might feel like your forcing him into it. you will never be 100% ready for a baby, your still young, talk to him and tell him that this is something you really want. Good luck to you

Answer 10

You can be patient by trying to remember that bringing a life into this world is one of the biggest decisions of your entire life. And a decision that is made by two people. Can you blame him if he wants everything to be "perfect" before bringing that new life into this world? It seems to me dear, that he is showing you more love and caring about the future for you and your child to do his best to see that that child is happy and healthy and provided for. This is a man thing. He knows you want the baby. Continue to be patient. The time will be right.

Answer 11

maybe he just wants to have a baby around Christmas time? But the best thing to do is just to stop thinking about it and have fun having sex and dont think of it as a chore! Put on a show for him!! They work for my husband!