I have known my best friend(girl) for 2 years (I am a guy). We used to do everything together and were so close. We used to walk to college, sit together, eat lunch together, do things in the evenings, call and text each other. Recently she has started seeing this new boy friend who she has liked for ages, and been telling me about it even before they got together.
Now they are together. We hardly do anything together now. Because all the things we used to do they now do together. And if I ever want to meet up with her she brings her boyfriend along. Whenever I phone her, her boyfriend is now talking in the background.
She has told me that our relationship is changing but it won't affect the friendship. But it has. And they don't seem to know it. Whenever I tell her how I feel she just starts arguing with me, or the boyfriend gets angry as well, and they think I am acting strange. Or sometimes she does listen but never takes it in.
I don't want to lose her. Any advice?
2006-08-14 23:59:24 · 13 answers · asked by Michael 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
dear friend.
i understand how painful it is see your love losing in front of your eyes..
but remember..... love that is forced upon someone is not a true love.....it is a lust love (desiring love)
a great man has said:-
"if you love someone, let it free. if it comes back to you is it yours forever. if it never returns, it never was yours".
be patient...."love is sacrifice".....thats why a true friend says "iam yours" and not " you are mine". because "mine" is "me" which means desire.
love is apart from desire......try to be away from her. let her do anything she likes. if she has a heart for you she will return.
but, you don't stop loving her. be gentle with her as before. but be brief as possible...
everything happens for good, who knows....may be some one great girl might be waiting for you........a yrue friend who might never leave you.
best of luck.
2006-08-15 00:13:46 · answer #1 · answered by radpaikar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The green eyed monster has emerged....you are going to have to let go here. Just step back and let your friend enjoy her new relationship. Don't be a nuisance. You can still call her every now and again, text message her or whatever, but drop the issue of your feelings--she won't ever "take it in". You only stand to cause a rift between you and her. If she truly appreciates the friendship you share then she will come around and make more of an effort to spend time with you as well....if she doesn't then she wasn't worth your time anyway. You have to remember that she in the "honeymoon" phase with this new guy and at this point no one exists to her but him.
2006-08-15 00:06:59 · answer #2 · answered by WonderTwit 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well this is very natural.
A person goes where they can EAT...
a new and romantic relationship is a FEAST.
I'm of TWO minds on this...
Let's start with the NEGATIVE one:
Many believe that two (hetero) people of opposite genders can't be CLOSE friends... because that closeness will inevitably turn into something where ONE of them will want more.
The second thought is: If she's really a FRIEND... and a FRIEND ONLY... her friendship WILL survive the romance... and she will be back... in a lesser capacity perhaps... but once the NEWNESS has worn off the romance... she will find time for you... providing HER end is like yours.
I do feel that you WANTED her relationship with you to be MORE... but didn't have the MOXIE to pursue it.
2006-08-15 00:07:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there, done that. Keep friendly ties with the woman but move on and acquire other friendships. Cross-gender, platonic friendships like yours are often put under stress when one friend starts to get interested in a boyfriend or girlfriend. You have to think about yourself and your future -- not only as far as friendships go but how your future relationships will go to. I know how you feel when a friend does this though. I had one friend do this to me twice!
2006-08-15 00:21:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
''She has told me that our relationship is changing but it won't affect the friendship. "
dont u see she is trying to get rid out of you "realationship is changing"!!! and loook
"Whenever I tell her how I feel she just starts arguing with me, or the boyfriend gets angry as well, and they think I am acting strange"
dont u see !! they are setting u up !!! she doesnt want this realtionship to be solved!
look as well
"sometimes she does listen but never takes it in."
hello its obvious she is so getting rid of u (god she is so mean)
hope my answer opened your eyes me and my friends are studing ur issue and there is no way she wants u as a friend for now
in shortcut:
she has moved on with her life and she has someone else that she wants to spend time with
2006-08-15 00:11:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must realize that she has moved on with her life and she has someone else that she wants to spend time with. You can stand by her and show her that you will always be there for her. Tell her that you are always available if she wants to talk to someone. Find someone else to spend time with but never loose contact with her. Give her some space and I'm sure you'll always stay friends.
2006-08-15 00:09:27 · answer #6 · answered by Guppy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to be heard by her- that you need time together, just the 2 of you. have you considered becoming friends with the boyfriend? the 3 of you could hang out sometimes.
maybe when the "honeymoon" period is over she will realise she misses you.
2006-08-15 00:06:54 · answer #7 · answered by lisa s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ur fr is dating now, she cant always be by ur side everyday, accept it
dont argue, u dont lose her anymore, frship cant be broken like that
why dont u give her a gift to sorry (maybe its not ur fault, but ur a boy so u have to do it first) let make fr with her boyfr too
2006-08-15 00:13:22 · answer #8 · answered by Ivy Do 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to her about it..
let her know what you feel...
(seriously...do you have a secret liking on her?)
you may also want to talk to her boyfriend about it...
it would help if they will both know your feelings so they could adjust....
make her boyfriend feel welcome into your bestfriendship...
establish a good bonding with both of them...
maybe as soon as her boyfriend trusts you, you will be able to spend more time with your bestfriend alone...and regularly without starting a fight wioth her boyfriend...
stay cool...
your bestfriend would soon realize her mistake...
2006-08-15 02:11:54 · answer #9 · answered by naomi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
people change.you have got to understand and accept that even though it may hurt but that's how it is.let go and get on with your life. in time you will get over it.
2006-08-15 00:14:49 · answer #10 · answered by peaches 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋