he is always looking at other women and has even admitted to looking at his sons girlfriends butt it hurts me very badly and i do tell him about it i love him but this is driving me crazy he gets online at his work place now so i cant track him
2006-08-14 23:13:09 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Erica and Aunt Beeaa are close to the mark, but speaking as someone who has been in an almost identical situation as your husband, I'd like to suggest he may be a sex addict. It's an addiction that is often ridiculed, but it is very real nevertheless, and is as damaging as alcoholism, drug addiction or gambling. You definately need to get couples therapy, and he should see a therapist himself who treats addictions. He may also benefit from anti-depressants such as Wellbutrin or Cymbalta, as what makes an addiction addictive is the elevated levels of Dopamine and Norepinephrine (the "pleasure" neurotransmitters) that result from satisfying the cravings, and the drugs reduce the cravings. They also help curb compulsive and obsessive behaviour. There are also 12-step groups such as Sexaholics Anonymous, Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous, and Sex Addicts Anonymous that can provide a great deal of help and support.
I'm totally willing to bet he's a sex addict, and if so it is important to understand he is obsessed with sex (not in a fun way) and is compelled to satisfy his cravings. To a great extent, like all addicts, he's not really in control of his actions. Someone who jeapordises his relationship and his career, in essence is willing to wreck his life to satisfy an urge, is not acting rationally. He needs help. Don't expect gratitude for trying to help (at least, not initially), as another hallmark of addiction is denial. He most likely has no idea he's endangering everything that is dear to him, or if he has some idea, he pushes the thought away. Take it from one who knows - if he doesn't get help he will not stop his behaviour, in which case for your own peace of mind you are best served by divorcing him.
2006-08-14 23:51:53 · answer #1 · answered by That English Dude 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey if he is chatting on line and keeping it from you, then he must be hiding something. In a marriage, you should be his best friend. It is wrong to build a relationship with another woman when he has a wife or even a serious girlfriend. I am sure he wouldn't like it if you did that. If he didn't care, then why waste time being in a relationship with this person. If he loves you and you tell him it hurts you, then you should attend couples counseling. If he isn't willing to do this, then I would seriously wonder his motives. Is he a loving husband in every other way? Do you have a healthy sex life? Many therapists will tell you fantasy is healthy in a relationship. But many will also tell you on line chatting can become the same as an affair. You have alot of questions to ask yourself.
2006-08-14 23:40:37 · answer #2 · answered by RITA G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't be surprized if you hubby gets fired for chatting online!!! Wasting time chatting on company time is a big NO-NO in most work places.
You and your husband need to seek out marital couples counseling. If your husband spends as much time on the internet and luring at other women there is a definite need for concerns.....My ? to you is how many of these women does he secretly meet ???? I am sure you already know that he's probably having or has had many encounters with his online females. He may have even carried the meetings to motel viisits!!
Seek counseling....or step up and file for divorce!!! Love has nothing to do with what your husband is doing!
2006-08-14 23:20:22 · answer #3 · answered by aunt_beeaa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say every man ogles other women. No matter how in love they are with their wife or girlfriend. And a woman who thinks her man doesn't look is decieving herself. As for the chatting to women, what are they chatting about? I agree with the earlier comment, grow up and talk to him. You are old enough to be married, you are old enough to have an adult conversation about your marraige. Tell him how you feel. Discuss it like two adults.
2006-08-14 23:23:15 · answer #4 · answered by Simple Girl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is only human. he needs some excitement. it is good to have variety and fantasies. why don't you help him out? invite a girlfriend? why dont you disappear for a while so then he'll miss you? or why dont you give him some porn? give him some space. you already control his time, energy, and assets.. your going to control his libido too? if it bothers you so much why dont you get a makeover. hell, get a divorce. us men know you women never commit to anything anyway.. its always you you you.. convenience and commodity. go find a new husband.. thats what you want right? your just trying to cop out of marriage by finding faults and creating them. your probably manipulating him into looking at other women. i mean why would you engage in a conversation with your husband and try to get him to admit that he is human like any other person and sometimes looks at a stray woman's *** or legs? are you fudin nuts? you don't talk about shiot like that. sounds like you have no self confidence, are too possessive and controlling, and that your a real biotch. i suggest you never bring it up again, leave him the *** alone, and go get some therapy and pay for it ur damn self.
2006-08-14 23:20:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Most men will have female friends and look at other women. It's just life. I know a lot of married people that will look at other people or have friends of the opposite sex. A relationship is built on trust. The only way that I would really worry is if he is meeting these women or if he was putting you on the back burner to talk to these women. If it bothers you that much sit him down and talk to him about it.
2006-08-14 23:19:48 · answer #6 · answered by ☮ Erica ☮ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Looking at women is just a male characteristic. You cannot really stop it. But anything more than that ... meeting the unknown women, talking to them face to face etc. is what you have to worry about. Chatting can be ignored to some extent, even though it is also kind of perversion
2006-08-14 23:38:17 · answer #7 · answered by craver 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
know ur husbands id & u chat wid him (but do not tell him)
finally creat such an chating impression that he should feel like being wid u & u only.at the end do let him know that that charming chat person is u .
all the best.(only if u don't get any other worthy solution then try this not before that )
2006-08-14 23:22:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well,, first do you feel that he loves you , if yes ,, its okay to chat with any one , th emost important is if he loves you ..
love you...
love you , and don`t think there is more that this word...
love you , its the only word which can make you ...
love you , always and for ever i do...
love you , and i am happy to be with you ...
love you , even when you are so faraway from me ...
love you , in spite of this long distant..
love you , even when you not do ...
love you , even when you got bad thoughts about me ...
love you , even when you left me and bye you didn`t say ...
love you , and sure one day you will know ...
love you , that all what i can do ...
love you , and never to stop loving you ..
love you .............
by: hazem02@yhaoo.com
By hazem02
http://www.thestarlitecafe.com/poems/101/poem_8343955.html
please read more poems for me and leave me there your comments,,
yours
hazem
2006-08-14 23:21:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you need to see what does he like in other woman that u dont have .. get ur *** to the gym .. work out be a sexy lady .. let him think " wow im such a lucky guy to have this woman" .. other wise ur married to end . and he'll cheat on u cause u cant stop him from talking to other ladies if u take his pc from home .. he'll find another ones maybe at office n **** .. u just cant stop him .. so get sexy hunni lol and make other men holla at u . till he gets jealous
2006-08-14 23:23:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋