I have finally found a guy I really love and sometimes I need to put him and the other arrangements in my life first. I have a friend who lives a distance away and invites herself down and then gets upset if my arrangements don't fit her plans and tries to force us to rearrange our plans to fit with her like she's 'testing' us to see how far she can push us, last time she came we rearranged everything and then she got hideously drunk and was rude to my boyfriend and myself and then I had to spend 1/2 the night comforting her while she cried, and in the morning she just laughed when we reminded her of her behaviour. She's been a friend a long time but I'm running out of patience with her, she's rude and difficult with us and gets stroppy if she can't have things her own way. What's the answer?
2006-08-14 21:17:36 · 20 answers · asked by emily_jane2379 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
6 months ago i was in the same situation i had met a beautiful girl who had my first child my best friend of 8 years was in the army and everytime he came back he seemed to think i should just drop everything to be with him whilst he was back in the u.k i tried to spend time with him and even went out to cruises with him and took my fiancee with us he used to be very rude to her called her a **** and things like that it put me in a very difficult position because my fiancee did not want him coming in our familly home witch is undestandble and did not want anything to do with him when i comfronted him he made me choose and i chose her and my child and havent seen him for a year and a half its made things so easy between me and her so i would say just confront her about her behavior explain that you love him and let her make the choice on wether to grow up or lose you as a friend good luck
2006-08-14 21:28:25 · answer #1 · answered by stanny 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If she has only started being this way since you found love, she is probably jealous, It is a difficult emotion to control and It's likely that she hates the way she is feeling and acting. If you want to keep up the friendship take a bit of time just for her. it doesn't have to be too often.
On the other hand if she has always been like this she needs to be told to stop being a pain and the way ypou do that depends on how much you want/need her as a friend.
2006-08-14 21:50:38 · answer #2 · answered by Ellie G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She deserves a kick up the backside,she's jealous that she doesnt come first in your life anymore.The worst thing you can do though is drop your friends when you are in a serious relationship just in case it all goes pear shaped.You need to have a serious talk with her and tell her she doesnt come second,but how would she feel if it was the other way round.make definite plans for when your going to see her and stick to them ,do the same with your boyfriend,if she turns up suddenly dont break the plans you and him have or he will start feeling the same as her.Im sure she will understand if you give it to her straight!
2006-08-14 21:29:16 · answer #3 · answered by Pat R 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
kick up the backside......is my answer it seems she is feeling left out but you cant put your life on hold until she gets her case sorted, say it to her nicely that she is being a pain. Tel her also not to make you choose between her and your BF cause a REAL friend would never make you choose, but mention that its as though shes pushing you too see who you will choose......surely youve passed the loyalty thing if your mate for years??!! or doesnt she realise that
either way best of luck huni
Rosa
2006-08-14 21:25:29 · answer #4 · answered by rosa_govan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's time to sit her down and have a talk. You need to explain to her that if she really is your friend she should be happy for you not act like a jealous *****. Guys do this crap to each other too then say "Bros before hos" as a pitiful attempt to excuse their jealous behavior. It's stuff like this that shows you who your true friends are Your true friends will be happy for you and try to work out alternate plans not be jealous of you and try to create problems for you.
2006-08-14 21:28:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be straight with her and tell her thats shes out of order and everything does not revolve around her. Maybe shes a bit jealous of you at the moment. Don't see her for a while, she may realise her behaviour in not acceptable.
2006-08-14 21:24:45 · answer #6 · answered by julie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your pal is going through a difficult time but she need professional support. your freidnship will explode and she's making it happen. don't fit around her anymore and ignore her dummy spitting but stay friends and make her welcome. don't break off the friendship but don't accomodate her bad behaviour. she will change and i think you'll be good mates for a long time yet. she's lonely but it' not your fault. ignore her rudeness and try to keep to your own plans. i think she'll realise then she can't treat you like that
2006-08-14 21:37:15 · answer #7 · answered by minerva 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to tell her that this kind of behaviour is unacceptable, that although she is a friend that she needs to understand the relationship with you boyfriend needs your time and commitment too, she may even feel a bit left out, if you and her spent all your time together and you now have a boyfriend she may feel resentful towards your boyfriend, try and encourage her to get a man of her own maybe see if your boyfriend knows any single men that may like to take her our out .
2006-08-14 21:25:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
sounds like she has problems and a need for solace in the one place she knows she'll get it... your arms.
You need to cut ties with this girl and get her out more often. She needs a boyfriend of her own and someone who will love her. She is very demanding by the sounds of things and I think she needs to be shunned for a while by everyone to make her see the error of her ways.
Maybe then she will realise that she can't treat people like shi.t and expect to get away with it.
But it will also be a wake-up call for her to get her life in order and start to make an effort on living for herself and letting you go.
Personally I think she is jealous of your bf and wants you all to her self... selfish bi-atch!
2006-08-14 21:24:32 · answer #9 · answered by ghostsqaud 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
definate kick up the backside. sounds like your friend hasn't grown up. she should not come into your house, offend you and your boyfriend and then not apologise.
Tell her or write her a letter to say how you are feeling.
If that doesn't work its time to walk away.
2006-08-15 02:37:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋