I have a friend who is driving me crazy with her bf problems?

Question

My friend and I have been besties for 16 years. She has always had problems keeping a man bc she is very possessive and insecure. Her most recent bf has just ended their relationship after 15 months (she is 28 and b4 this bf her longest relationship was 5 months long). He is an international student with no intentions of staying here in australia and his family has no intentions of allowing him to marry her. He has always treated her very badly and she has cried more often than not during the entire relationship. He is an absolute creep! Since they broke up 2 weeks ago, he has visited her twice which has led them to the bedroom. The morning after he tells her that he hopes she doesnt think it means they are getting back together and i am left picking up the pieces. I also know that should he call again, she would see him in a heart beat! I am wondering if there is anyone who has had a friend like this and what have you said to snap them out of this destructive cycle? i am at a loss!

Answer 1

I have a friend like that too- well I did. I tried and tried to get her to change her ways, but I honestly think she just likes the drama of dating guys that treat her like crap, so everyone will feel sorry for her and she is the center of attention all the time.

I finally told her, that I just could not subject myself to hearing all of the bad crap that goes on in her life. It was depressing the hell out of me. While we are a lot older than you are, I must tell you, you really need to surround yourself with people that make you feel good and happy and actually contribute to making one's lives a little better. I was using all of my energy to make her feel better for making incredibly bad choices her entire life. She is 38 its time to move on.

I am sure this isn't the answer you were looking for - but I couldn;'t help but let you know you are not the only one with a destructive friend.. and its ok to walk away.

Answer 2

it is not you this is contained in the incorrect right here and that i'm somewhat shocked that he maintains to try this in case you donut sense top with it. whether he has had a crush on those women or nonetheless has a crush on them he does not must be consistently rubbing it on your face, you point out that he likes to play on your lack of self belief's? does he try this generally? Having that kind of courting isn't solid distinctly no count number if it is your boyfriend that does it. it sounds to me that even nevertheless he's known with you do in comparison to this he's prepared to maintain on besides which proves that he in hassle-free terms somewhat cares approximately himself. subsequently you need to desperate if he somewhat is the marvelous guy for you. have faith me you need to gain this lots greater proper than that and you should be feeling lots happier wish this helps, solid success with each and every thing :)

Answer 3

oh boy do i feel your pain. I've become the shrink out of all my friends. and i have 2 friends who repeat the same mistakes over and over. one of my guy friends won't stop dating girls. its not bad, but his only intention is sex. and after the dating, he breaks up with them before the relationship. I finally snapped him out of it when i scared him. I told him that this unreadiness for relationship will come back and bite him in the ass when in 20 years he'll be alone and cnofused. he was furious but instead of defending myself, i explained to him that it was true unless he listented to me now and changed his habits. Try explaining to your friend why she always ends up in these situations and when to stop it. Also try setting her up with a decent guy you know won't break her heart. She has to stop looking for these wrong guys too

Answer 4

It is called barriers, she likes the pain , there is nothing you can do, she knows what she has to do but wont do it, it is her mistake not yours, dont take on her problems, give her a box of tissues and dont share the emotion