Leading a 2 different roles in life, hiding each one identity from another, I am depressed and tired!?

Question

Have a son of 5 years old now, nobody can believe it based on my young age and look (I am 28 years old). I am building my career life now and unable to leak personal life status to outsiders (career environment). And yet my adorable and intelligent son is started flourishing in his talents (sports, music education), and I am in a very difficult position to decide whether to completely ignore either one of my identify. I have tried out before to live as normal, it seems the society still doesn't accepts things as open-minded as people preached.
Have been single-lady since 2 years back (stop dating), and start concentrating in career life fully ... but now it is getting tougher to maintain a life leading 2 different roles! I am already disregarding my own son towards the circle of people around my career environment (I am hiding him).

Answer 1

You ought to be ashamed of yourself. I understand having a career, but you've taken this to the extremes. A job is a job, there will be others if this one isn't accepting of your parental responsibilities. Nobody expects you to make a million, you just need to make a living. Your son should be your first priority, not the job, honey...and you know that. A job will always be there, you son, on the other hand, is going to grow up. If you are a single mom, then it's your job to be there for him whenever he needs you, not when it's convenient for you. If it's too much to handle and this isn't where you heart is, do your son a favor and let someone else raise him...like the father, or your parents, etc.

I'm sorry if this is harsh, I just don't understand your logic. We are talking about a child here. A child who only has one parent and that parent is choosing work over him....how do you think that makes him feel? It may not be intentional, but your choices are going to have a lasting effect on him. I work with children, divorcing parents, single parents and victims of abuse on a regular basis. If, just half of them, for once in their lives, set aside their own wants and needs to take care of their children first, we'd have alot less issues in the world. Children learn from their parents. If the parents don't care, neither do the kids. You are on the right track to question what to do. It shows you still have a conscience. Listen to it.

Answer 2

I don't understand: "I have tried out before to live as normal, it seems the society still doesn't accepts things as open-minded as people preached." Are you hiding your son because you were not married to his father and you are embarrassed because your son is a bastard? Are you hiding your son because you fear not being an acceptable wife to one of your male colleagues? Being 28 with a 5-year old son is not uncommon. Two different roles. . .mother and career woman? Not uncommon.

Answer 3

I could not hide my kids. My first question is do you have to hide the fact you have a kid and if so, why? Or is it you chose to because of your co-workers? My next thought is, you will not have that job forever, but he will be your son forever. If I had to choose, I'd choose my kids. I can't say, go to work with a picture and say, hey this is my son and he's the best thing that happened to me! 'cause I don't know your situation, but it sounds like that's what your ready to do. Sounds like time for a career change.

Answer 4

u shud really be ashamed of urself coz this is not done if u are a mother and u shud be proud of it and above all u love ur son! u shud definately tell everybody about this ur friend circle and all ur office people! y wud they not accept him he a 5 yr old kid and everybody wud love him!
come on u want to tell everybody thats y u hav posted this Q. here on the net!
come on u cant do this wid ur own son!
u r a mother and u ought to do this!
all the very best and please take care of ur son and shower all the goodies of life to him!
take care

Answer 5

Don't.

People will continue to appreaciate you for your talents even if you have a son and occasionally need to spend time away from work or to adjust your schedule to make scheduling easier

Answer 6

There is nothing to be ashamed of.Your son is and should be number one on your list.If others can not accept that its there problem.The only identity you need is your own.Be proud of who you are and what you have accomplished..Show off that bright young man,be proud of him.Good luck to you.

Answer 7

what kind of career is that????