The woman has a bad past of relationships were she would cheat or her boyfriends would cheat.When she got tired of it,she found out it was hard for her to trust guys and she thought all guys were the same.CHEATERS!Well finally she found "mr.right" but kinda messed up in the beggining of they're relationship by non-physically cheating on her "mr.right" like 5 times.By that i mean she wrote her ex's letters of still wanting to talk to them and her ex's would still call her.Well after she got rid of all her other men and wanted to be with "mr.right" and only "mr.right", they stayed together for two years now.But her "mr.right" still after all ths time hurts from the past and feels like she doesnt care.She really does care but doesnt know how to fix it or how to make it better and they both dont know what to do,cause they want to get married but they dont see how they can with the past bothering "mr.right" and plus them having trust issues,also because of the past. What should they do?
2006-08-14 17:31:15 · 8 answers · asked by SqUeRLz 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
dating is just that... dating... its better that she got it out of her system now. She has to work at gaining his trust back by being 100% truthful with him. answer all of his questions truthfully and continue to reassure him that she is not messing around. Trust is one of the most delicate parts of a relationship and she may have destroyed it. Its easy to say to just start trusting her but it is not that easy because he doesnt know what she is doing or thinking and when he did trust her she was acting up. I think she should ask him what she could do to attempt to gain his trust and then do it. If he says " I dont know" then tell him to think about it and get back to her, say, the next day. She cant be mad at him for not trusting her... she messed up... now she has to work at it. Maybe she should explain her feelings and why she did what she did. Also, if they are serious about marriage, they should think of that as a beginning - the day they get married is the beginning of a new life together and take if from there, but he has to be honest with her as well, if he really doesnt feel he could move one - not forget it but forgive her, then he should not marry her and they should either continue to work at it or call it quits
2006-08-14 18:16:44 · answer #1 · answered by angelnmuh 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone comes with a past and you can't change it, that's why it's your past.
After two years of proving that she wanted him and only him, then he should let go of the past.
If he really loves her and really wants to marry her, then he needs to grow up, let the past stay in the past where it belongs. Your adults, not grade 2's. Stop being childish and except that she has changed.
You will have problems trusting her for awhile, I know this for a fact, but if you really want to be with her, let go of the past.
Get counselling individually and as a couple.
2006-08-15 01:10:41 · answer #2 · answered by evads38 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think we all come with a past. Good or bad. If you both love each other the past should not matter. Couples have problems to deal with daily, bringing up the old (unless it's continuing) should be left alone and move on. Not just Mr. Right, Ms. Looking for Mr. Right needs to let it go once and for all. Two years is long enough to forgive past sins.
2006-08-15 01:01:50 · answer #3 · answered by sassywv 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust can only be earned through time so slow down and for the next year be trustworthy. Be sure to not put yourself in any questionable situations. Even if you think it should be OK but you know it might look bad, don't do it.
You can earn his trust with hard work and dedication. If you want his respect and admiration, you have to behave exceptionally well. And you just might find you like yourself better too!
2006-08-15 00:50:02 · answer #4 · answered by ~K~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this man must grow up and get over the past. The past cannot be changed and if he cannot get over it there is no hope for a happy relationship. If he can't then the woman must realize that there is nothing she can do ant that she will never be able to live down her past with this man and she must move on for her own sake and find someone who only cares about the present and the future. Those who cling to the past cannot move on into the future and they waste the present going over what cannot be changed.
2006-08-15 00:46:13 · answer #5 · answered by CindyLu 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow! you have a problem letting go of the past...unless....your girl has proved untrustworthy in the following time?...and I think two years is more than enough time to know whether or not you can trust her. She should dump you for being a butthead.
2006-08-15 00:50:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to couple's counseling and that should help the two of you work out your trust issues.
2006-08-15 00:44:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
mr right should have bailed then or he should have dealt with it, come on she talked to them she didn't screw them. i think mr right needs a spine.
2006-08-15 00:44:09 · answer #8 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋