I'm going to ask him to move out. We've been married for 10 years and in all those years his job has been priority, he's physically abused our 10 year old son, and now he is calling our new baby the 'f' word and the 'a' word.
He won't seek counseling, i've tried for years. I just can't deal anymore.
How do I have the courage to tell him to leave and for him to actually go? He never takes me seriously. I'm tired of his ways, my kids deserve so much better.
I feel spineless right now.
I'm actually shaking as I type this because I know it has to be done but i'm afraid he won't go.
How do I make him understand that I am serious?
2006-08-14 16:35:33 · 6 answers · asked by ~SSIRREN~ 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
As bad as it sounds, I have no fear of my husband hurting me. He only hits the kids. He won't lay a hand on me cause he knows I could hurt him more than he ever could me.
2006-08-14 16:43:32 · update #1
I have 5 kids total and I'm afraid he's going to start hitting them too.
2006-08-14 16:52:15 · update #2
What an awful position you are in, I feel for you. If he is being mean to your kids, you must know it's in their and your best interest to break up. Sounds like he doesn't really want to be there anyway. I guess the best way to do it, is tell him you want to talk and just say what you need to say. If he doesn't want to leave, you need to. Think about your children. Do you have family or friends you could stay with. If he is physically abusive, I don't know if I'd do it while being alone with him, in case he turns on you. If this might be the case, I'd wait until he was at work, leave him a note and get the hell out of there! Best of luck :)
2006-08-14 16:46:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
don't do this right now, wait till the kids are out of the house, at a sitters or relative or something. He could become violent and hurt the children or you. Do not do this right now.
Be prepared for the worst, he may see that you ARE serious and he could get VERY angry. Seek the advice of an attorney, know your rights, be careful. I was married to an very abusive man, ending it was hard, he became very angry and refused to let me out of the house.
Have someone with you if you HAVE to confront him face to face, preferably a strong male, or I might get flamed for this, have some type of weapon on you. Definitely have a cell phone just in case you need to call for emergency. Do NOT do this with the kids around!
I am glad you are getting rid of him. Maybe you could just wait for when he is at work, pack up yours and the kiddies clothes, and get the heck out, leave him a note or do it over the phone. Alert the police that he has been violent..
you are not spineless, but you do NEED to get outta that situation quick. Men like that almost never change, you didn't break him and you can't fix him unless he wants to be fixed. Forget all material things, just get your children and get out. Find a relative, odds are he will make this as hard as he can for you. If he has abused your son, your son can testify to this in court if necessary, to keep him from getting custody of any kind.
congrats to you for coming to your senses, you can message me if you like, I do pray you get out of there alive.
please, please, be careful
do not confront this violent man alone, stay calm, get those kids out and get some backup.
2006-08-14 23:50:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a restraining order. You have every legal right to do so. Asking the law for help will help you get over the fear.
Don't wait for him to come home, if you have relatives, pack up your things and kids and stay with them. The worse case scenario is he will hurt you if you ask him to leave.
Maybe after all this time, he has been seeing someone else and having an affair.
Think of the worse thing that he could ever do to you and prepare yourself for what's coming. It will not matter to him if you ask him nicely or not, to his mind he has more power over you because he brings the bacon home.
2006-08-14 23:51:03 · answer #3 · answered by stardustalpha2010 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are serious and you think he might be upset and abusive, there is a way to get him out of the house tonight. You can call the police and ask them for their help. Tell them that you aren't being abused, but you are scared. It will rock his world enough that he will have to leave and will have to think about your relationship and decide if he wants to change or let you go. If you have questions, contact me. Good Luck
2006-08-14 23:45:58 · answer #4 · answered by marks3kids 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you really need to have a friend come over just in case he tries to hurt you, have your friend ready with the phone to call the police. Your situation sounds frightining to me. Maybe call the police before you do anything
2006-08-14 23:41:38 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do anything until you have spoken with a lawyer first. You're also going to need financial support. Be very careful, please. You can do this, but you are going to need some help along the way.
2006-08-14 23:40:39 · answer #6 · answered by SmokeyGun 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋