a man tells his wife he's leaving every time he gets really mad, but never does. she continues to do house duties, care for him and gives him his space without affecting what she wants to do. later he tries talking to her, nicely but can't admit he's wrong. she sort of feels sorry for him knowing he grew up without a man in the home and has had many failed relationships in the past. does it sound like he's staying out of obligation or because he is now learning how compassionate his wife is (that she can care for him in the good and bad times)?
2006-08-14 16:30:01 · 7 answers · asked by Skypride 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It sounds as though he's staying out of love for his wife. Chances are he really loves her, but when he's mad, he probably doesn't know how to cope with his anger and leaving may be all he knows. You said he was raised without a man in the house, that could have something to do with it. I, too, feel sorry for him and I don't even know him. They may want to get into some communication therapy. It's not traditional counseling, but it gives couples the tools needed to express themselves better so they can grow and appreciate each other more. And if he has issues from the past that keep coming back to haunt him, some counseling may do him some good as well. All too often, if we don't learn from our mistakes, we keep making them. And although it sounds like he's wanting to run out, I sincerely don't think he does. I think it's just history trying to repeat itself like a sick pattern. The good thing is that he never leaves...which means he wants to stay and break that pattern. There is hope here...it's just buried under mounds of hurt for him.
2006-08-14 16:45:23 · answer #1 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think as a married woman that when a man gets angry and frustrated, weather it be with finances or their relationship that they say the first thing that comes out of their mouth. may it be stupid. sometimes what they think is saying that he's leaving is to get a reaction from the wife weather it be her saying no don't go or just sayin fine do it . its just something to say. if he really wanted to leave he would have. remember men are stupid and he's to lazy to pack, move his crap, and figure where he's going. they are too comfortable at home. the wife should just tell him to apoligize for his crazy talk and that it doesn't work on her so just save it.
2006-08-14 23:53:24 · answer #2 · answered by gee 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
kinda deep. the wife should sit him down when he is mad and explain to him its ok to be mad but not ok to keep threatening to leave cause it is very hurtful. And point out how patient she has been with him and his threats. Explain most things can be worked out with some calm conversation where both people are sincerely looking for solution to the problem.
2006-08-14 23:47:12 · answer #3 · answered by Tony 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's not fair for him to test her or make her feel like he will abandon her every time they have an argument, it's emotional blackmail. feeling sorry for someone only reinforces their insecurity and rewards them with attention for the negative behavior. this kind of passive aggressive behavior will only get worse if she continues to validate it by putting up with it. he has to decide for himself put the baggage behind him instead of making her pay for his past. so she needs to stand up for herself and call him on the bluff and let him leave next time so that he realizes what he stands to lose.
2006-08-14 23:40:18 · answer #4 · answered by Eos 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he is childish. She should pack his stuff next time he threatens to leave.
2006-08-14 23:44:02 · answer #5 · answered by Chris 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is dumb he probably just wants her to fell intimidated by him
2006-08-15 08:40:32 · answer #6 · answered by CandyLand 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is probably trying to scare her
2006-08-14 23:39:45 · answer #7 · answered by smile4mel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋