Why so many failed marriages?

Question

I am considering marrying the man I love. But what is holding me back is the fear of divorce. Half the population is divorced, and marriages constantly fail after one, five, or even twenty years. What causes so many marriages to fail after so many years? What can I do to avoid it? I want to do this right... I may be young (23), but I do not want to be foolish.

Answer 1

Can you avoid it? Well unfortunately you cannot predict the future. Marriages seemt o fail due to lack of communication, and really knowing what it is you want, and what your partner wants. Seems so many jump into it today thinking its the right thing to do. Possibly a "comfort" factor. I think everyone, males and females fear a lack of companionship at some point or another. When they eventualyl find a potential "mate" they possibly latch on, fearing they would never find someone else.

Answer 2

I don't think it has anything to do with college at all, it's the age. You are not the same person at 20 that you are at 30. Your tastes change, your styles change and your beliefs change among many other things. The guy I married when I was 20 is someone that I wouldn't even look twice at now. It was a mistake, it was more of the idea of being married that drew me in. Now I am married to the right guy and it's so much better. I truly believe there should be an older age limit on marriage. 30 is good because you are out of the "selfish phase" in life once you graduate from your 20's.

Answer 3

You can't really predict or avoid divorce. If your spouse wants a divorce then there is nothing you can do about it. I think there are so many divorces is because people take it too lightly. The word (love) is abused. People can say that but never mean it. If you love this man then what is holding you back. If you put everything into it that you possibly can then just know that you tried and if he still wants a divorce then let it be.It may not turn out htat way though. It may turn out that you two spend the rest of your lives together. I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 4

society has made it an easy out. What you burned the meatloaf again? That's it..I'm leaving you for a chef. It's ridiculous. Maturity and age has something to do with it too...would it kill you to wait till your a bit older? I'm divorced, but it is considered a biblical divorce on all three counts...there are three things that qualify it to be a justified divorce (only one of these is needed). Severe mental or physical abuse. Abandonment. Adultry. If none of these apply to your relationship when considering divorce....your marriage can be worked out and saved. Good luck and may you two have many many happy years together. Oh yeah...and read The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands...

Answer 5

I think the major reason why people get divorces is because they simply cannot agree on anything. People change over the years. Couples expect more from their husband or wife. Mostly, the causes of divorces is simply because they cannot agree to disagree. When one person disagrees with another, it ruins the relationship, and they simply cannot agree with the fact that the other person did such a thing in the first place, which can be anything. So, before you get married, make sure you learn to agree to disagree. Just because he doesn't agree with you on something, it doesn't mean he loves you any less. Work it out.

Answer 6

You know its not the number of breaths that you take that make your life it is the number of times that your breath is taken away is what counts. When I got married and was flying to my honey on Lanai, I was sitting next to a couple that was married for fifty years and was going on there honey moon for the fiftieth time. I thought this must be a wonderful omen. Well to make a long story short I asked that what was the answer to a successful marriage. They simply said communication. Never going to bed made and letting the person no matter what at the end ofthe day that they loved each other. I still believe hole heartly in love and in Marriage. You know sometimes peple in our lives are there for one season and sometimes for a lifetime. Cherish which ever comes forth.

Answer 7

Yes my son is 20 and says why marry they all end in divorce! Well you cant really say it will last there is no crystal ball! Marriage is the showing of commitment in your love for eachother.Its as far as you can go between the two of you.So take each day at a time and enjoy what you have right now.Make it count .Then you can say you had a great time with this person and hopefully its for a long time!.........

Answer 8

I've been married 3 times and divorced 2. I have reflected back over the reasons why I married the first two and it was for the wrong reasons. If you and your partner are getting married for the right reasons, and you both have the same feelings about working through the not so good times, you both should do just fine. My 3rd husband and I got everything straight before we decided to get married. Good luck!

Answer 9

If you are going to let that stop you, you worry too much!

You take each day as it comes...marriage is work, and it's hard work. What happens is when you have one working at it, and the other is not is when it fails.

If you go into it and work together, not against each other.......the rewards are great!

The secret to having a good marriage is to understand that marriage must be total, it must be permanent, and it must be equal.

A poem that I love....

I didn't marry you because you were perfect.

I married you because I loved you.

I married you because you gave me a promise.

That promise made up for your faults.

And the promise I gave you made up for mine.

Two imperfect people got married and it was the promise that made the marriage.

Answer 10

Many marriages fail because of lack of communication. This lack of communication will lead one or both couples to be unhappy, to argue constantly, to have lack of support for each other, to feel lonely and to have affairs outside their marriage. Also, people change. Sometimes you grow together, sometimes you grow apart but without communication you are guaranteed to grow apart. It's hard to predict which marriages will last, which ones will not but you have to remember that marriage is a commitment and it is a mutual commitment with each other. You choose to be commited with each other, not just during your wedding vows, but for the rest of your married life together.