Why is society defining sexual orientation as heterosexual or gay & not bisexual?

Question

I remember seeing a documentry one time where one lesbian had decided to have a sex change and her partner was having a terrible time because she defined herself as a lesbian and did not know if she loved the person and if the body made that much difference or if defining herself as gay meant the relationship was over. Her thought processes were very interesting to me in wondering why most people go by first the physical attraction than the attraction to the person rather than the personal attraction than attraction to the physical.

Most of what is in print seems to demand a rigid gay or straight orientation, but why don't we hear more about bisexuals? Are their numbers really that small? Are they a 3rd group afraid to come out of the closet?

I have never really met anyone who openly defines themself as bisexual and I am seeking serious answers.

Answer 1

I think people don't understand the concept of bisexuality and perhaps don't believe it truly exists.

That's where I stand.

Answer 2

Bisexuality is a real sexual orientation. Straights often cannot accept this fact because it threatens the view they have of "normal" sexuality. Gays sometimes can't accept it because it waters down their asssertion that gay and straight are the only true orientations. I believe that the number of bisexual people is actually huge. Most bi's do not act on their urges, however, especially after marriage. I also believe bi's are far more likely to be in the closet than gays -- outwardly, they live a straight lifestyle and do not want to give that up. Male bisexuals are especially fearful of being outed -- they fear repercussions from spouses, family, and their straight friends. The truth of the matter is that you HAVE met bisexual men and women but you just don't know it -- at work, school, church or synagogue, the grocery store, etc. Bisexuals are all over the place and may very well be the largest sexual orientation, or at least be a very large minority orientation. I personally believe that most men, at least, are bisexual to some extent. I've lived too long to believe otherwise.

Answer 3

I don't think there is a blanket answer for everyone. People come to their sexuality on their own terms and at different times in there lives. As far as the argument that you are presenting of " people are born gay and are just now realizing it". I would explain it like this, People may be born gay but have always dated the opposite sex and maybe never even considered dating someone of the same sex and that is because of our culture. From the time you are old enough to understand anything your parents your teachers everyone you ever knew plus things in society like tv, ads, books, and movies are directing you towards a heterosexual life style. People do it subconsciously. They grow up thinking that's what they are supposed to be and that is what is expected and right. They never even consider dating someone from the same sex because they didn't know it was an option. Thats the way it happened for me at least and the way I feel about it. It may be different for other people though

Answer 4

I am bi, so now you "know" one.

Yeah there are lots of bi people out there but it's hard to explain to somebody that doesn't feel the same way. It's just an attraction to girls and guys (but not all of them and only one relationship at a time) and love for both. It's about a real relationship with love, getting to know who the person really is, and yes it's sexual too. We are like the unseen group in the GLBTQ community.

You get the "too gay for the straight people and too straight for the lesbian/gay people" a lot and those dumb bisexual myths. So many bisexuals are now having to redefine the meaning of being bi to both groups. If you don't know the myths check out the HRC site under coming out as bisexual.

Answer 5

Heterosexuality and homosexuality are only the two extremes. In the middle of these two 'extremes' is bisexuality. Some in the gay and lesbian community accuse those who self-identify as bisexual of duplicity, believing they are really homosexuals who engage in heterosexual activity merely to remain socially acceptable. Some gay and lesbian people may also suspect that a self-described bisexual is merely a homosexual in the initial stage of questioning their presumed heterosexuality, and will eventually accept that they are lesbian or gay; this is expressed by a glib saying in gay culture: "Bi now, gay later."

Unfortunately we seem to live in a society that only looks at the extremes, and this is partly because the extremes in any culture or group or society are usually the most vocal. It is the "squeaky wheel gets the oils" syndrome.

Answer 6

Well, I'm openly bi. I was also part of a group in Orlando that had 50 members at its peak.

I really don't know why. My theory is that for straights, it suggests that gays are closer to them and more like them than they think, while for gays, it suggests that some same-gender-attracted people can "change" after all, like the homophobes want.

Or maybe Nas just put it best: "People fear what they don't understand/hate what they can't conquer/guess it's just a theory of man."

Answer 7

I guess it's like anything else that is defined in the world - you are either one extreme or the other extreme. I can understand why bi's don't want to talk to much because people knock them for not being able to make up their minds.

Honestly though I can understand where they are coming from. I used to date guys and I wanted to have sex with them but was to scared. I am a lesbian but I still have this curiosity. I guess I can understand why people are bi.

Answer 8

We live in a binary society: It's good or evil, black or white, gay or straight. The idea of anything in between is just too hard for most of the idiots in our society to wrap there head around.

Answer 9

Why do we even waste time on this topic. People who sell out. . . forget about self respect and pride. . . and just want to get off are bisexual! Or maybe we should call them trysexual. . like in they will try anything to get off! Maybe 1% of homosexuals are born that way and are actually homosexual! The rest are emotionally disturbed and trying to cope! The only acceptable homosexuals are two cute chicks together. Any two men together is just WRONG!

Answer 10

Society and people for that matter have for organizational purposes, declared things different from eachother by naming them. It is purely a form of classification and a means of difference.