One of my friends is a senior, in high school, and she is getting married, to a guy who just graduated high school. They been going out a year or two I guess. They aren't even old enough to know what true love is. I think they are each others first boy friend and first girlfriend. Should I just sit back and let them make there own mistake or should I put my two cents in about how I feel. Please tell me what you would do if this was one of your friends.
2006-08-14 15:40:49 · 48 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Oh, they are already living together
I don't like that either, I don't believe in living with the oposite sex ,besides family, until you get married.
2006-08-14 15:48:23 · update #1
Sit back and enjoy in their happiness. Leave it to their parents to let them know it is a bad idea.
2006-08-14 15:43:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hmm, well if they are both 18 or over there is really nothing you can do. But if you strongly believe that they do not love each other then by all means say something to them. If you are not sure weather or not they are in love then you should sit them down and ask them a few questions.
First: Have they talked about money? Because that is the number one cause for divorce.
Second: Are they going to have children? They should talk about this thoroughly before they bring any children into the mix.
and
Third: Does either one have any doubts? If they do they must first talk through them, or if any of these doubts seems like they are not ready to be married...Then don't!
2006-08-14 15:53:30 · answer #2 · answered by Gomez 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dissecting your statement:
"They aren't even old enough to know what true love is" -It is possible for them to know what true love is.
"I think they are each others first boy friend and first girlfriend." - I've seen this work many of times. Older couples and couples from our generation, granted they've only been married for 5 years or so.
"Should I just sit back and let them make there own mistake or should I put my two cents in about how I feel." - I would suggest they get engaged and wait, but be supportive a true friend would be.
2006-08-14 15:56:05 · answer #3 · answered by candance1012 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would only invest my two cents if I were asked. And, even then, I'd only do so very carefully & considerately.
Other than that, "true love" varies from one individual's definition to the other's. It is almost impossible to decipher whether or not the love is true in our OWN relationship, let alone someone else's. So who are we to say?
Maybe they ARE dumb. Maybe they're in true love. (Although even THAT doesn't guarantee a lasting relationship- we'll save that 4 another Question/Answer tho'!)
In the end, there's nothing you can do about it anyway. You may ruin your OWN relationship with your friend by voicing your objections. I think the best u can do, if u really care about her, is support her no matter what: Hope for the best; but prepare for the worst.
2006-08-14 15:55:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Giving them your two cents would only satisy you, and I highly doubt they'd even consider it. I've learned from experience: you can't tell people what to do when they think with their hearts rather than their brain. You'd be wasting your time & energy to do so but you can try. But I completely agree with you. People change too much before they hit 30, or late 20's. I don't think people should commit to each other unless they've been in a relship for more than 2 yrs. When you're with someone for less than 2 years you're still in a honeymoon phase. Everything is honky dory and people tend to make a big commitment during this phase. Little that they know they truth will eventually come out after they've been with their partner longer than that... and when they do it's too late or harder to break off b/c you already made a commitment or already living together or have kids even... Anyways, like I said you can put in your two cents but you have to be prepared your two cents is worthless to them.
2006-08-14 15:52:26 · answer #5 · answered by Bobbie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Great question!!! I wouldn't call them dumb, but what they are doing is probably a mistake. If I were you, I would suggest a long engagement. Tell them they should get married after college. That way they get the commitment to each other they desperately want and they're not locked in to anything. They're really young and have a lot places to see and people to meet. They're lives might end up going in two different directions. That's why they should be cautious.
2006-08-14 15:54:40 · answer #6 · answered by golddiggalova 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My very best friend got married when we were in the 9th grade. She wasn't pregnant, nobody at home was abusing her, her parents might not be millionaires but she had food and clothes and a warm bed to sleep in. Connie married Pete and they had 3 girls and a boy. That was in 1970, 36 years and still together and watching her grand-kids grow up. For some people, they mature faster than others. I wouldn't recommend marrying so young but to each his/her own. Today so many are going back to school/college after the kids are in school and living a happy life.
2006-08-14 15:53:10 · answer #7 · answered by sassywv 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my, thanks for caring. They are young and think they're in love, but there is NO RUSH to marry.
Let her know they can be in love without marriage. Marriage is a serious commitment and involves legal issues.
It won't be so romantic after she squirts out about 3 kids that they can't support bc neither has a post-high school education. It's not too cool then.
Let her talk to some recent divorcees.
If that doesn't work, she can just suffer the consequences while you are getting on with your successful life.
2006-08-14 16:30:02 · answer #8 · answered by Lake Lover 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they were my friends I'd say, "so what's your hurry?" I would emphasize that the divorce rate is pretty high for mature adults and even higher for people who are teens. They need to understand they are making a big mistake. Where are their parents in all of this anyway? Understand if you put your two cents in, you are a good friend, but they may resent it. Maybe beginning by saying, "I really care about you two and that's why I need to talk to you about this..." In any event, it is their decisiion, bad or good.
2006-08-14 15:47:22 · answer #9 · answered by MadforMAC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They will learn from their own mistakes. This is why more than half of all marriages end in divorce. If you say something, then you might ruin the friendship, and then when the relationship ends, she will be afraid that you will say "I told you so", which nobody likes to hear.
If you are a good friend of hers, then you will be supportive of her decisions now, and later, when the realtionship ends. As a freind, you mau not always agree with wach other's decisions, but you should always be supportive, without passing judgement.
2006-08-14 15:46:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, the last thing a friend and a young girl "in love" needs is a negative influence. I think you'll find you will loose a friend if you step between her and the boy she loves. The best thing you can do is be there for her and give her the advise she needs when she most needs it, thats the definition of a true friend.
2006-08-14 15:48:13 · answer #11 · answered by dashiznititis 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋