How old were you when you realized that you were gay?

Question

I am only 14 and I am not too sure about how I feel about either sex. should I wait to decide to be gay, or staright untill I am older. I think I like guys but I feel like guys aren't attracted to me, and I think that girls would be more attracted to me than guys.
I also have a gay aunt, who has a really nice partner and a wonderful little daughter, so do you think I should talk to her about that now, or wait untill I'm older? And do you think I should just wait on relationships of either sex untill I'm older?

Please help, and I am being really serious right now, so please, not nasty remarks. thnx

Answer 1

You won't decide in your mind. What you will decide on is whether to be honest and which individual you'd like to date. Since you're not settled, you may not want to come out as anything just yet, and that's cool.

When I was 14, I was looking up a whole other word that began with "b" in the dictionary, and saw "bisexual," and knew I couldn't be the only one if they had to go to the trouble of making the word up! I've pretty much been 50/50 from the moment I could tell there was a difference between boys and girls, though it wasn't until I was about 17 or 18 that I began to be okay with it.

Answer 2

Ok, I'll try but I don't know how much help I'll be to you.
when I think back..I should have known at 7 or 8 years old that I was gay..but I guess I just didn't have enough hormones to think about sex at that age...around 10-13 I started experimenting with other guys in the neighbourhood..as all guys do....then I went onto a longterm realtionship with a woman for about 5 years...I fought the fact that I was gay..I just couldn't admit it...had a nervous breakdown/tried the suicide route, etc...that was when I was about 21....And then I had to come to terms with the fact that I was gay...Some older guy (about 3 years older--but much more experienced) picked me up one day and I never looked back...I'd had no idea that sex could be like that!!...I think you should maybe talk to your aunt..what harm could that do? She has all the experience behind her to help you either way..believe it or not we don't recruit....I don't know what you mean by guys aren't attracted to you...sexuality is more about who you are attracted to...not the other way around....I'm 57 years old now..so I can look back on this a little differently...but talk to your aunt..she sounds like good people--who will give you good advice.

Answer 3

Oh gosh, I had an idea by the time I was 8 or so that maybe I liked girls, but didn't really understand it and wanted to fit in. So, that's what I did thru high school. In college I fell for a real sweet guy and it lasted about six years but as much as I loved him I also felt there was something wrong for me about it. Around my late twenties I admited to myself I was bi, but it seemed too confusing at the time. It wasn't til my early 30s that I actually came out to myself. Life is much better just being me, even if I'm sometimes slow to figure me out.

So, a couple things for you. Talk to your aunt. If you are asking yourself these questions, why not talk to someone close to you who will be understanding and helpful. Romance and sexuality are about who YOU are attracted to, not the other way around! So, don't worry about who will like you more. Find the people you enjoy. 14 is to young to know the answer really. Your body is still changing and it's a little early for sex with anybody. Just be true to yourself, that's what really matters.

Dang, J Cragen, I've always done that neutral pronoun thing, too. Hadn't thought about it re my youth before. LOL

Answer 4

It's a funny story. I was like 5 and the old Tarzan show was on TV and my crazy aunt ran across the room and started kissing the TV when Tarzan's ripped bod came on. I thought how strange that I really felt like doing that too. Then in 1st grade I had a huge crush on my friend Brent. We played soccer together and he was a butt slapper, and every time he did it I got all gooshy inside. Unfortunately, Brent got fat around 26 but he was hot all through high school. Well anyway I guess I always knew.

My sexuality is clear cut. Black and white. Not everyone is like this. Some people's sexual desire is a little more.... fluid.

Wait until you are a little farther along age wise. Try out a variety of people, then just do what gets you off and don't worry about labelling yourself straight, gay or bi. Just follow your instincts. Your dick knows what makes it hard, listen to it, vetoing its desires only when it is harmful to yourself, others, or doesn't involve mutual consent between adults. Don't be hung up sexually like most of the neurotic nutbags in the world.

Answer 5

I was 17 years old, I realized that I am gay. I'd never been attracted to any guys. I was a tomboy all my life since I was born. In my experience through my life, I was curious with a lot of other girls, kissing, touching, and fooling around. When I transferred to a different school, I still never attracted to anyone. All the bollocks peer pressures and stuff like that, they encouraged me to date a bloke. I thought I could but I never felt right or felt attracted to any blokes. Also, I never been in any serious relationship that time and dating for a pretty short time. I have been dating a very few blokes. Most of time, I have always like to be independence when I was under 17. I felt I has a biggest attract to women deep in my heart and soul. I am pretty crazy over women. It is how I realized that I am gay and I am happily ever after. I had a longest relationship with a woman in my life. I am proud of who I am since I was 17 years old and beside I am 27 years old now.

Answer 6

12

Answer 7

I was in my mid-twenties like another poster when I figured it all out. I should have realized when I started thinking about what made me gushy when I was alone. Oh well, hindsight's 20/20, right?
Anyway, like the 57 yo guy said, talk to your auntie and her family they sound like good people with a stable place to give advice from.
As for the implied question of are ya' too young to think about this stuff, I don't think so. By thinking now, you will have figured stuff out that took most of us years to figure out because we weren't thinking about the subject for a while longer.
Besides, talking and thinking are just that, they aren't actions with someone who could break your heart, or you their heart.

I'll leave you with two thoughts. One, my mother told me regarding the birds and bees, that with the right person s'x is the most wonderful experience. I was around your age when she said those exact words and that was all she said regarding intimacy. Two, reread the sentence my mom said, pay attention to the pronouns, what do you notice? I notice, with the right person, not with the right guy/girl, but person. Growing up I always spoke of relationships in the either-way way, I said when you find the right person you'll know to my friends who are girls and presumably straight. So, know that you will find wonderful experience with the right person when the time is right, and pay attention to how you talk. Your speaking paterns can tell you a lot about yourself.

J

Answer 8

Sweetie, you have your whole life ahead of you to worry about being gay or straight right now. Just keep an open mind to both genders. You'll know you've found someone that you're attracted to when your heart skips a few beats and you get that fluttery feeling in the pit of your stomach. But for now enjoy being a kid and don't worry about the pressures of a relationship!

Answer 9

Don't worry about whether you are gay or straight or what right now. If you ever find yourself really attracted to a girl, then you can talk to your aunt about it. Right now, you'll probably have crushes on guys and girls. It's perfectly natural. I didn't realize that I was gay until I was in my early twenties.Looking back I realize that I was attracted girls very early on, but I still had a couple crushes on boys. Give it some time. Hind sight is 20/20.

Answer 10

I was 15 when I knew, but full blown I was 25. I had my first and longest relationship of 15yrs. on and off. Then I went back into the closet for a while. Had other short term relationships since then. Sooo, right now at 45 yrs. young I'm on the hunt for somebody new. I hope this answers your query.