For people who are in one..
I believe in an open relationship.. you can't force monogamy at first.. The only way to truly know if they are the one for you.
BUT, why an open "marriage". You keep the RELATIONSHIP open, but once you know she's the one and you two get married, aren't you marrying BECAUSE you only want to be with just them?
Where's the intimiacy?
PS There's no sarcasm here. I really would like input on this.
2006-08-14 15:14:29 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
why even say the word marriage if they want an open marriage. do not waste your time, marriage is abig committment and you shoould be with someone who does not want to be with everyone else.
2006-08-14 15:36:35 · answer #1 · answered by sunshine girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Intimacy between two people starts as lust and sex but transforms into to something (unexplainable) later. It is very rewarding. I do not think that monogomy is all that normal for human beings. But, I do NOT believe you can sustain an open marriage. The problem may not even be your spouse but trouble caused by the other people you may have relationships with. Because human infants take so long to raise and take two people to raise (scientific theory I know is true by experience) and societal pressures we may not even be aware of, condition us to expect some sort of relationship with our sexual partners. The people you or your spouse sleep with may go in expecting casual sex but what if it turns to something else. What if you or someone you sleep with becomes pregnant. Who will raise the baby. Who will pay child support. Could you raise your husbands love child as your own? Could your husband raise some other man's baby as his? Complicated. That's why more people do not participate. I do know a couple in an open marriage. I don't think the woman sees herself as insecure but that's the impression we (her friends) have of her. There is something so _____(don't know how to describe) but safe or protected come to mind about a husband that backs you in the right way. Being a woman is very hard but your husband can make you feel as if you are walking through life with a policeman by your side. Boy, that was a stupid analogy but it's hard to put into words what a good marriage can do for you. In the end it does make monogamy, as unatural as it may seem in the beginning of your sexual life a small price to pay for the comfort of a really good marriage, something you won't achieve in an open marriage. If you feel that monogmay may not be for you, you are not ready to marry. My husband and I were together and free to see others for many years before we married several years ago. Now we have no regrets, what if's or if onlys. If you are already married, unless both of you are gung ho for this it's really unfair to change the rules now after you already vowed to play by the other rules.
2006-08-14 15:56:37 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
ok an open relationship when your is ok at first untill things start getting a bit more serious. Now an open marriage is a major no no, because you make those vows to have it be just the two of you. NO an open marriage is wrong.
2006-08-21 10:01:09 · answer #3 · answered by addybme 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I do talk about having an open marriage only because he has ED and he refuses to go to the doctor...he says theres nothing they can do cuz he is diabetic...anyhow we've gone to the swing clubs and have checked out what type of enviroment they have but I told him I was worried cuz I really dont know who they are and what if they have AIDS or some type of disease....so in the end I said no but he was willing to allow me to have sex with men or a woman he didnt care...he said he would watch...I didnt like the idea cuz I was worried like I said about getting something plus what if I really liked it and started going back only for me...I believe it would be way out of hand
2006-08-22 06:18:37 · answer #4 · answered by tinker143 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't understand people's thinking that state they have an open marriage. Why do they get married in the first place? If they want to be with other people why do they pledge their love to one person promising to keep themselves only to that one? I am confused!
2006-08-19 05:43:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anne E 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can appreciate that. I have an open marriage. I have been married for 23 years. When I married at 19 it didn't start out like that. For more details, you're going to have to email me privately. I started to but it got lengthy.
2006-08-21 15:31:26 · answer #6 · answered by dianee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a friend who likes her marriage out in the open and its all about the sex. They feel it more sexy and helps their relationship bc they think its "HOT" seeing their spouse with another person. I dont think its intimate at all but for her it is. I guess it depends on the person. But you are right about that. I think there also is a little part in that person that is insecure too
2006-08-14 15:38:21 · answer #7 · answered by Crystal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
open relationship or open marriage is not really a thing for me.. One will always get hurt in the end.. and that's not good.. people who indulge in this kind of set-up are people who is afraid of commitment.. if you're not ready to commit yourself to another person, better be alone than hurt that person in the end..
2006-08-21 16:55:07 · answer #8 · answered by chiqui 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What's the point of marriage if they want an open relationship?
2006-08-14 15:32:00 · answer #9 · answered by gypsy 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am in total agreement with you. There just doesn't seem to be any morals or values in the so-called sanctity of marriage anymore. I guess that explains the current divorce rate!
2006-08-14 18:14:16 · answer #10 · answered by witchywoman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋