my mother in law is not always truthful, especially about myself and my oldest daughter when talking to my husband. most of the time, her lies cause him to become angry with us. even though we have caught her in lies before, he still believes her before us. how can i make her stop this? she is going to hurt our marriage, and this worries me. when he finally gets the truth from us, he realizes he was wrong to become angry, when will he stop taking her side? i need some help with this. oh, she lives with us, this doesn't help, and she won't leave because she has the house in her name. she said she would sign it over to us, because we pay the mortgage. now she won't even discuss it with us.
2006-08-14 15:11:41 · 7 answers · asked by lotsakids3 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Sounds like your man needs to grow a spine and tell his mom to butt out. It is his job not yours. Tell him he needs to deal with his mother or maybe you need to move out. If she won't discuss the house with you and you are paying the mortgage, tell her that you will stop paying it and move, that will get her attention. she sounds like she will eventually break up your marriage if your husband doesn't stop being a MAMA's boy. The bible says a man shall leave his parents and cleave unto his wife and children. That means the wife is supposed to come first. He needs to grow up and put his foot down. Maybe you should ask him to go to a counselor with you. Or a pastor of your church. You need support.
2006-08-14 15:21:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, I really feel for you living with such a mean mother-in-law. You are definately correct in saying that she is hurting your marriage. Your life with your husband comes first. My advice is that you should have a one-on-one talk with her and discuss why she is lying to your husband and let her know that this is affecting your marriage and if that is what she wants to happen. Sounds like is is probably jealous of you, however, it is very selffish of her to try to break you and your husband up. Also, since your husband has now confirmed that his mother is always lying about you and your daughter, he should know better and blow her off. He should just ignore anything she says about the two of you. If all else fails, then you, your husband and children should move out of the house before she breaks up your marriage. Let her handle the mortgage payments! Your husband if wrong to take sides.
2006-08-14 15:34:45 · answer #2 · answered by Geneva 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, you need to move. Her holding the house over your head will not be enough compensation of what could be and what is happening to your family. You need space from her, until she realizes that she is driving her family away. Just being by yourselves can help you and your husband work at being a better team and uniting your family. You need to also control how much time you spend with her because even a few visits can influence a change in your children. You don't need your children learning bad habits by watching their grandmother. I hope it works out for you.
2006-08-14 15:26:00 · answer #3 · answered by Sassy n' Sweet 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh boy you kinda stuck with the little heel nipper aren't you? And your husband needs to stop being put in the middle of her game. Why does your husband listen to her, and doesn't get the picture of what she is doing by now? This has to be up to your husband to just listen to her and then just brush off what she says. Talk to hubby some more and even get help with a counselor to see both sides and help you guys with this. Or find another place to go.
2006-08-14 15:38:07 · answer #4 · answered by auntkarendjjb 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a hard Mother in law too. Your Husband needs to talk with her and explain to her how much her lies hurt him. It may not help, but the more he does that, the more she will realize that he is on to her. It is so hard to combine two households. I am sure she has her ways and I am sure you have your own. I would surely think about getting a home of your own. Good Luck!
2006-08-14 15:19:12 · answer #5 · answered by KIMBO 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you need to call her bluff and move out! Second, this is a long time dysfunctional family......including YOU! Third, Forget the concept that you can change other people to think like you because you are totally wasting your time and theirs! Fourth, your marriage is already in trouble! But, you will probably stay with this ongoing life of dysfunction so until you decided to make changes........STOP COMPLAINING!!!!
2006-08-14 15:19:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If possible get the rest of your family(uncles, cousins, etc) to
gang up against her. Make her listen and make her compromise.
It appears that either way you'll be the enemy.
2006-08-14 15:16:52 · answer #7 · answered by retrodragonfly 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋