i had a baby a year ago my husband and i haven't have sex since maybe once or twice because he is busy ?

Answer 1

Very few married couple realize in advance how much of an impact on their marriage the arrival of that first child will have. The biggest change for men is simple: he is no longer the emotional center of his wife's life. Now, the love and intimacy he forms with the baby are certainly a major consolation, but there's just no getting around it - for at least a few years the baby will come first emotionally in the woman's life.

Men express this relationship shift differently, but the most common theme I've seen is a kind of emotional pulling back, or withdrawal, or retreat. Many men don't recognize that the change is not personal; that is, their wives have not passed some sort of negative judgement on them, but the emotional effect is the same. Unfortunately, some men establish sexual relationships with other women to fill the void, but most do not.

Although you haven't actually asked a question, I suspect that the question underneath your statement is this: I want to be intimate with my husband again. What can I do?

Here is my answer: Let your husband know that you understand that the arrival of your baby changed your marriage. Ask him to forgive you for shifting your focus away from him and tell him that you love him and miss being close to him. Thank him for providing for you and the baby. This is unbelievably important. Make really sure he gets in his viscera that you appreciate his hard work. Here's how you'll know: he'll touch you or say something loving. When that happens ask him if there is anything he needs or wants to say. He either will or he won't, but the space in between you will have changed. Acknowledgement unlocks any door.

Wait a while (an hour or two - a day - maybe two) and then initiate sex. It'll be great.

Answer 2

Talk to him and tell him how you feel and your concerns. Try spending some quality time together alone , maybe going out to a movie and dinner just the two of you. Sometimes when couples have a baby come along the baby takes so much time then working and all that you get into a dull routine so you need to spice it up some. Put on something sexy and go out with him, IF you cant afford to do that have someone watch the baby over night maybe a relative or a friend and then fix a nice dinner and rent a movie and spend time alone together. Even though you have a child now you still need time together alone once in awhile.

Answer 3

The best weapon in marriage is communication. If you were communicating well, you probably wouldn't have asked this question here. This question can best be answered by him. None of us will give you a concrete answer. So, please talk to your husband. Don't start like you are angry with him or as if you are complaining. Just get him when he's in his best moods and talk. Ask him if there is something wrong. tell him you are worried about him. He might or might not be cheating on you. I am sure he loves you. may be there is a part of you that he misses. something you nolonger do. May be its him, he may be feeling worthless. There is that time in marriage when men want to be left alone. Do everything you can to make him talk to you. Remember, don't push it. and this is my advice, pray. If you've never prayed, this time pray. Ask God to help you because he's the only one who knows every man's thoughts. as I write this, I have made a prayer for you. May the Lord who is all knowing guide and help you so your marriage will blossom.
if you have talked and he says he doesn't know what's wrong, then take my advice, pray, ask God to change him. and he sure will.

Answer 4

what?? you say you have only had sex with your husband twice in the last year, cause he's been too busy. I know of no man that stays too busy, to get busy, especially for a whole year. Yeah, your man is busy working some other woman.

Answer 5

Yikes, this doesn't sound very satisfying - I think its time you found somebody to farm your child out to for a few hours. before hubby gets home from work put on some sexy clothes, have some wine and cheese ready, clear the living room except for a kitchen chair, put on some sexy music and put on a show for your guy - if he is faithful he'll jump all over you - if he's getting something on the side, he'll most likely brush your attempts off, which means you pack your bags and get a good lawyer.

Answer 6

Because he is busy? After 2 months(or however long it took before your body was healed from the pregnancy) without sex didn't it raise a red flag in your mind? And you've been going on like this for a year? What do you think is going on? Do you think its because he is busy and do you think that a man who is in love with and cares for his wife doesn't want to have sex because he is too busy??????

Answer 7

Some guys have a problem (beleave it or not) having after a baby is born. You need to sit down and talk to him about it. Chances are its hard for him because he's thinking of you as like Mom....Elvis did'nt have with Priscilla after the baby was born, because he could'nt sleep with a woman who has given birth, its like the whole Mom thing. Just sit down and talk to him, its possible you two may need to go through some therapy to find out whats going on all together.

Answer 8

If he watched the birth he may be still traumatized by the whole thing...I read somewhere where watching a vaginal birth effects a man sexually and they avoid it altogether...they are afraid that you won't be pleased.....talk to him and let him know that you love him and that you have missed having sex with him...he's not too busy...that's a cop out..look at the real issue

Answer 9

Busy doing what? does he look more busy than normal to you? the times that you have done it did it feel the same for you and i ask because after giving birth the muscles of the vagina is not as tight as it was before. hence the need to commence pelvic floor exercises as soon as possible after delivery to tighten those muscles again. was he there at the birth?, was he put off by what he saw? try getting someone to look after the baby for a whole day and night....pamper yourself, make a romantic meal and let nature take its course...dont immediately head for the bed after the meal, play some soft music, slow dance, feel each other (and i dont mean in touching) and when finally get into bed...have lots of foreplay and explore each other

Answer 10

Someimes we become so absorbed with the baby, that we don't pay a lot of attention to our significant other.
Find a baby sitter for a few hours and the two of you go out, and be careful not to talk about the baby the whole time you are out. Remind him, that he is very important to you, and that you love him very much.