what would you do if you were married but you had not had sex for over 4 years?

Answer 1

Know where you stand. SWAGE is the support group for people in this situation.

Answer 2

I assume by the question that this was not an issue when you wed. I mean...like it wasn't physically impossible due to injuries, or something like that? Sometimes people go into a long-term relationship *knowing* that they'll never have what's considered to be 'normal' sexual realtions.

Barring that scenario, I'm going to think that this was something that happened *after* you married.

The first thing to do is to go to the doctor, both of you, and make sure that there is nothing medically wrong. If there's nothing wrong then it might be best to talk about going to see a counselor together. There's probably an underlying reason for the lack of intimacy. It might help to have a mediator so you can maybe talk it out.

What you really want to do is to open lines of communication *with* your spouse. Until that happens, even if you have 'sex', it won't be anything but that. Physical gratification, and that you can get anywhere, even by yourself.

If you want to restore your relationship with your spouse, then it's going to take some work on both parts. I'm sorry there's no easy answer for this question. My best to you, no matter what happens.

Answer 3

That seems to be a pretty common problem, I hear that from quite a number of people. Marriage often becomes a more rpactical parntership where you share the tasks of rising kids and such.
But the romance and the hot excitement is often gone, mostly for the women.

Depending on how much I want sex with that partner I would either try to look for marriage consultation and see whether the romance can be revived and if not then file for divorce. Life is too short to suffer.

Answer 4

Depends..if the man i was married to was unable to have sex because of a paralysis i would have no worries. i would stay committed and care for him throughout...if it was impotence and he did not go to a doctor to try and remedy it i would kick him out. I mean if he made a valid effort and nothing worked then that would be a different story but if he just ignored it and let our sex life go down the tubes then i would be gone...If he doesn't want sex for four yreas and there is nothing physically wrong with him then the relationship would be over...gone...caput...DIVORCE

Answer 5

I have only met one couple like this she was so religious she would not have sex unless it was to have a child, and he did not cheat.

Sex is part of the marriage bargain and vow, if the other person is not holding up there end of the contract, then the contract is broken and you might consider divorce, unless the reason is because that person is handicapped and cannot have sex anymore. Then it is your obligation to stay with them.

I knew one woman that nursed her husband for ten years before he died, and did not have sex with him or anyone else. (In sickness and in health, you know)

Answer 6

I would of never went 4 years without sex. I defintly would of had a friend with benifits.either find a f/w/b or get a divorce.

Answer 7

Unless there is some severe medical or logical absentee situation, I would seriously consider divorce.

Answer 8

I would consider you are not very close ! And a sit down talk is in order! Or you can just stay sexless !

Answer 9

Have you tried talking about it? There may be reasons, particularly if one or both of you are elderly.

If not perhaps counseling is in order.

Answer 10

she is too tired to have sex with you after doing the soccer team.