Is it possible to love romantically without physical attraction?

Question

And is that really love and why do you think so?

Most people have missed the true question. Physical attraction means sexual desire. Could you love someone if you couldn't bring yourself to have physical relations on them based on there attractiveness? I don't mean, because you were impaired and couldn't, I mean because they just don't bring lust out for you?

Answer 1

No. Romantic love and physical attraction go together like smell and taste. You need your sense of smell to taste properly, but you don't need your sense of taste to smell.

In other words, romance is to taste as physical attraction is to smell. You can have physical attraction without loving romantically, but you can't have romantic love without physical attraction.

Can you really love someone romantically if they make you go bleech! uggh! pee-uffle! vomit! No matter how nice they are if you can stand to be close to them, where (how) is the romantic love going to develop?

And is that really love? Depends on your definition of love.

Some people think beating their children is loving them.

Love is a subjective word. It means different things to different people. No two people experience or express love in the same way.
Love has become a commonplace word--like water. You fall in and you fall out. It has no taste or color. (read figuratively: it is blind)
You need it to survive. Without it you shrivel and die.

Answer 2

It depends on how you define love, doesn't it?

Personally I don't see how affection without attraction can ever add up to more than run-of-the-mill friendship. Or, to put the cart before the horse, if romantic love without physical attraction were a reality it would explain every platonic friendship on the planet in rather unsavoury terms.

When you sit down and think about it, sex is the one thing that makes the relationship we have with a lover different to the relationships we have with friends. So I'm a bit hazy about how people can be in love without sex unless there are some extenuating circumstances. For example, if a couple who start out as lovers lose their sex drives I can understand the love surviving the loss. But I can't get a handle on how people can get in to a loving relationship in the first place until sex happens.

Answer 3

I think so. Some people are very engaging, attraction can stir in the most unlikely pairs. It's a pretty big world when the total populations are considered. I would have to favour the opinion that there really is someone for everyone, the numbers are so vast. Beyond the empirical I've personally witnessed bonds that to the outside eye seem mismatched; yet they seem joyful as well as committed to each other. It's nice to see too! Kind of warms my heart, but enough of that. I think perhaps a way of looking at your question could be is it the outside of someone or the inside that gives rise to our passions. What is the spark that starts the fire. I'd say the mind is the endearing and enduring attractor.

Answer 4

I think that the physical attraction will come with time, but I think that if the person loves another based on their selves, not their bodies- i beleive that when the physical attraction does arrive, it will mean more in the relationship than if the order was reversed.
I think that true love does not require physical attraction. My grampa died, and my gramma went and saw him every day in the hospital for the last month. she couldn't touch him, and only saw him for a few minutes each day. Love is not an emotion, it is a series of descions, and sex/kissing/physical attraction is not all it entails.

Answer 5

I'd say it's definitely possible, because Romanticism has it's roots in idealism- so when something is "romanticized," it's idealized. Platonic love in this understanding, is romantic love. Realism would be the opposite, and would involve the physical component. Romanticism is a build up of unrealistic fantasy- mental process, so not necessarily needing the physical aspect.
Is it real love? Well- it's more like being in love with the idea of being in love.

Answer 6

If it's romantic love, it is also physical love...otherwise it's platonic love.

Here...

'Romantic love is a form of love that is often regarded as different from mere needs driven by sexual desire, or lust. Romantic love generally involves a mix of emotional and sexual desire, as opposed to Platonic love. There is often, initially, more emphasis on the emotions than on physical pleasure.'

Answer 7

No. Physical attraction is part of romantic love. It's what separates romance from friendship and familial love.

You could marry someone you weren't attracted to, and you could have candlelight dinners and anniversaries and all the rest, but it could never be a truly romantic relationship.

Answer 8

First of all, "love romantically" doesn't make sense...love isn't a feeling, it's a choice. Romance means physical. If you're asking if it's possible to like someone who isn't attractive, of course...but liking them as a person wouldn't translate to sex which is completely physical.

Answer 9

Interesting question. I often fancy that if my capacity for physical attraction were seriously diminished or destroyed, I would still very much love my wife in a romantic way and would seek ways to please her despite my incapacitation.

So, I'd say yes, but I don't speak from direct experience.

Xan Shui,
Philosophic Philanthropist, Honest Man

Answer 10

Sometimes, people don't think someone is attractive, till they get to know that person. And also sees their great personality! . If they got a lot in common and learn to know them, they might actually learn to love that person!

Once I found a guy that I first thought was unattractive, he had a beard. Then I hung out with him, and found out he had a great seance of humor! He was fun to hang out with and was great on the drums. (He was a part of a band)