Sexual harassment at work by a woman?

Question

At work I'm being sexual harassed by a woman incharge, its getting to the point now that she's wanting sex with me and if I say no or report her she will tell my girl friend a lie so we split up and if I leave this job she would give me a bad referance so what can I do to make this stop.

Answer 1

Report her to her manager. This is the only way things can get better. Talk to your girlfriend about it. She will probably understand and support you.
You could also talk to your colleagues to find out if she is harrassing anybody else.
You may also like to talk to the Citizens Advice Beaurea. They are used to dealing with cases like this and will be able to give sound advice.

Answer 2

There's a lot of good advice on here. I would agree that you need to start documenting what is happening at work and also tell your girlfriend. Do you work for a big / small company and is the woman your boss / line manager. Has she done the same thing to other people? Depending on where you are based, you can check your references and if you have a poor reference, take action legally.

What to do now? Make a record of any past times she has approached you with dates if you can remember. The next time you are approached, take out a diary and write down what she says in front of her. Then tell her you have told your girlfriend and that you have been keeping a record that will be useful when you report it. Also tell her that you will have any references checked if you leave and if they cause you to lose a job, you will screw her as right royally as she is trying to screw you over loss of livelihood.

Then update your diary with her response ......

This might be enough to stop her, but if not I would report her anyway as it's abuse of power. Can you get anyone at work to back you up / collaborate what you are saying. Tell your girlfriend and if she supports you, she is a true partner: if she treats this as a joke you need a more reliable girlfriend as well as more reliable bosses! Good luck.

Answer 3

First of all, REPORT HER!! You are allowing it to continue by remaining silent. There are "whistle blower" laws, and if you report her, she can not do anything in the way of your job - it would be illegal.

Now, unless the woman is the owner of where you work, she has supervisors. If you officially complain about the harassment from her to them, by law they have to investigate the claims. If you can document the actual dates of incidents, as well as what was said, you will have a much better case than her saying "he's lying".

Lastly, if you leave the company, rarely - if ever - do companies allow supervisors to give references. References are either directed to the HR department, where they will only verify dates of employment and rate of pay, or they will only allow references that are rates of pay and dates of employment. Because if you receive a poor reference from them, and you find out, and it was the reason that you didn't get the job, you can sue them for defimation of character. I highly doubt that the supervisor is so wonderful that the company you work for is willing to lose their @$$ in court.

I would write down what she says and when she says it (date and time, and where happened). Going to her supervisor(s) with that info will get her into a bunch of trouble.

If you are still unsure about how to procede, consult a lawyer. Typically they give free consultations.

Answer 4

"Bug" yourself with a recorder and catch one of her passes on disk. Then you have something to let your girlfriend And your lawyer listen to.

Is there Anyone else who heard her put the moves on you? Do they have the balls to give a statement and back up your complaint? This will be tough because No one wants to risk their jobs but that Doesn't mean that there aren't any Rams among the sheep!
Good Luck

PS: Start keeping a log book. Write down Every incident. The time, place, the circumstances and what was said to you. Keep it current! That way, You won't forget details if it comes down to a legal fight. Also Keep ANY written notes she may give you!

Answer 5

It happens both ways. You need to be documenting EVERYTHING. Write it down in an orderly way. You will need it or you will strike out. Once you have quite a few incidents documented, report her to human resources. Don't be intimidated or fear for your job. Your job can be replaced, and your dignity is worth all the aggravation. Good luck to you.

Answer 6

Tell your girlfriend about the situation first. Then talk to your human resources department. You can't go to a lawyer unless you can prove that you brought it to the attention of the higher ups and that they did nothing about it. Then go see a lawyer. Sounds like fun!!
Just kidding.

Answer 7

Okay i highly doubt your girlfriend will break up with u if u plead sexual harrasment. Explain the situation to ur girlfriend first then report to the authorities

Answer 8

Refrain yourself from unwelcome sexualadvances,request for sexual favors or verbal conduct of a sexual nature.

Answer 9

tell your gf what is going on and start keeping a record of what she is doing with dates and times in an orderly fashion so that you have written proof of what is happen also find out if she is doing it to anyone else in the company and ask them to do the same so when you report her to the personal dept they will have to deal with it quickly and without you losing your job ... if they don't deal with it you can take it further eg court

Answer 10

Your best bet is to file a grievience against her.
As long as the process is documented in a disciplinary process you have no problems.