I have been with my husband for nearly 7yrs and find it erotic to imagine being with him and a female at the same time. I would also like to be with a woman by myself. (Is it selfish for me to really want this?) I was with a woman long before I met my husband and I'm not looking to replace him... just wanna fill this craving and desire I have!
Would it be cheating if I was with a woman by myself and my husband knew about it before it happened? He has no problem with me wanting other women, not sure if this seems right though.
Guess what I really want to know is if there is something wrong with him for being fine with the idea or is it a healthy thought for him to have? I have not acted on my desire yet because I'm not sure if he really could handle it, he's a very jealous person when men even talk to me....I just don't know, help!!!!!!
2006-08-14 14:31:29 · 21 answers · asked by ? 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
If your husband has no problem with it and wouldn't mind to be a part of it, then you probably wouldn't be hurting his feelings or anything like that and therefore you wouldn't be doing anything wrong. I don't think it's cheating if you're open about it and your partner's ok with it. Most men would probably admit a desire to have sexual intercourse with more than one woman and if that is the case with your husband then you're both lucky to have each other because you can fulfill each other's fantasies. My advice is simply for you to talk to him. Be open and honest about it and tell him that you need to know how he trully thinks and feels about it, if he's really confortable with it or not. You should also ask yourself if you'd be confortable if you were in his situation. Imagine that he asked the same of you. How would you feel? What would you think of him and what would you respond? If you think you wouldn't be confortable with it, then maybe it's best for you not to engage in that kind of fantasies. In the end, it's all up to you and whatever you do it'll be your responsibility. Just be sure not to disregard your husband's feelings. If he isn't hurt by your desires and actions, then in my opinion, there's nothing for you to feel guilty about.
2006-08-14 14:51:35 · answer #1 · answered by Ricardo P 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am wondering if he is stuck in the fantasy about you being with another woman- that it is still about or for him somehow. It might be very different if you became involved with another woman in a way that did not include him. He probably also doesn't see other women as competition and assumes that it would not affect your relationship with him negatively. If you want to preserve that relationship don't do it. On the other hand, if you are having these thoughts and desires, what aren't you getting in your current relationship?
2006-08-14 23:03:17 · answer #2 · answered by Me 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'd say you'd have to ask him why it's alright for you to be with another woman, but not with another man. Has he even thought of the possibility of you falling in love with another woman after you've been with her sexually. Has he really thought about this seriously? This could potentialy end your relationship in the long run. But if he truly is fine with it, and if it works out for you both, then go for it.
If I were him I would personally feel that I'm not enough for you because I couldn't give you what another woman can give you.
2006-08-14 21:39:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You answered the question for yourself in the last sentence--you know he wouldn't take this at all well. There's nothing wrong with him--it is, as you can see from other respondents, a fairly common male fantasy. So don't take him up on it.
It's perfectly okay to have fantasies! But some fantasies should just remain fantasies, for the health of the relationship.
2006-08-14 21:36:57 · answer #4 · answered by GreenEyedLilo 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hun There is nothing wrong with it!! Most men dream or Fantasize on being with two women at the same time I do it with my lover all the time and be with a lady on my own but he knows about it for we do a girls day out and end up in the bed room at the end of the day!!
2006-08-14 23:15:35 · answer #5 · answered by robecca_san 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
the only way is to tell you what i'd feel.
like many of my kind (men), we do like to see two women together, it can excite us very much..
to answer your question : would it be cheating, i'd say : yes, because you''re sharing something deep with somebody else, at the level of the body.. and soul. whoever it is, man or woman, it's the same.
but if you're husband agrees, then you could try.
but he may react harshly once it's done because he may be excited now, and once you really do it, he can realize that you are sharing something with someone else than him.. man or woman. he may say : but then, i'm not enough for her.. etc..
so maybe, make it a trio for one nite, make him participate. he may just love it as i loved it when it happened to me. two girls in a bed is just paradise. and even, watch them is delightfull..
good luck
ps : don't listen to the moralists i've just read : their answer shows their narrow mind.. just always act out of love and you'll be rite always.
2006-08-14 21:39:25 · answer #6 · answered by lorenzosupastar 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
straight up, I think thats very hot. Anyway, it's not cheating if he knows it. Look at it this way: say u were doing a test and u told the prof, "Hey, Im gonna use my notes." and th eprof says its fine. Then, its not cheating. I truly think if u were to sleep with a next chick, u should bring him along, either to watch and/or participate. That way, u settle ur urges, ur mans fantasy would be lived and he AND u would be cool with it.
2006-08-14 21:41:06 · answer #7 · answered by jamcit can am connexion 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes. Honestly....I don't want to be rude here, but if a man really loved his wife, he wouldn't share her with anybody. That's just me.....I'm from the old school I guess. I wish you the best of luck....do what you feel is right.
2006-08-14 21:39:17 · answer #8 · answered by brewbeer212 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You must not be very smart, that would be cheating, doesn't matter that it's a woman. Your husband needs a lobotomy.
***
Why the F.. do people get married when they want to play around, full fill sexual desires??? To bad your parents didn't practice safe sex.
2006-08-14 21:38:44 · answer #9 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
It depends on you. Why ask us? Ultimately your gonna do what you wanna do anyway whether its right or wrong Yea, its wrong and your unatural affection for women is perversely wrong but I know you dont really care. Its your life so live by your own motto "drink and be merry".
2006-08-14 21:47:10 · answer #10 · answered by icyhott4urmind 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋