how to deal with husbands deployment?

Question

I am five months into my husbands first millitary deployment and everything about it is awful. Any tips on how to deal?

We PCSed (moved) right before he was deployed so I don't really know many people here.

Answer 1

I assume you knew it was a possibility when you married, since you did marry a soldier. What you should be doing is living your life, going to work, staying close to your friends and family, and praying like h*ll that he'll come back home in one piece and emotionally sane. A soldier needs to know that his family is 100% behind him. He needs to know that his wife loves him dearly and would do anything to have him back home. And because he has that support behind him, he won't be worried about what may be going on at home, and will be able to have his whole attention on that terrorist that is getting ready to try to blow his brains out as he drives by.

Answer 2

You already are preparing for this deployment by doing research. My best advice would be, stick close to your family and friends. You can never be completely prepared for what's going to happen, because who knows what's going to happen! Make sure the bills are in order and you will be able to handle banking on your own. Get Power of Attorney for one year so you can sign important papers on his behalf. Don't treat every second like its special. What soldiers miss the most is the day by day routine. While you do need to assure him you are strong and you can make it through this. You can tell him you're upset, and you can even cry in front of him if you must, but try and think happy thoughts. Focus your energy on what things you will mail him, letters and of course when he comes home on leave! Cherish every moment, and when he leaves, it will be tough, but be strong. The first 2 weeks to three months are the absolute hardest. Then you get used to your independence. It will be an adjustment when he comes back. When he calls you, make sure you tell him about everything positive. You can tell him a little of what is going on, but remember, they are in a war zone, and the last thing they want to hear is about how the car broke down, or the bills got messed up, or any of that. And be patient with him. When you set aside a time to call, and you can't be there, try to tell him beforehand if you can. He might accuse you of cheating at times, and he might pick fights, but it is just because of the stress. It will be rough, but stick it out and remember the man he was before he left. You will be ok, and your marriage will be all the more stronger because you went through this.

Answer 3

The first time my husband deployed I cried the entire time it was miserable and thankfully only for 3 months. Before he went out again I made sure to get to know some of the other wives whose husbands were in the same unit. We would get together for a movie, or cards anything to talk. I also found a job that helped to keep my mind off of it. With all that is going on nothing will ever take it completly off your mind and you will worry but keeping yourself busy and forming friendships with others in the same spot does help.

Answer 4

First let me say that I do not know your husband but I know that anyone in the US military is a brave, decent & courageous person who volunteered to serve his country and I would like you to tell him that I along with millions of other Americans greatly appreciate his service and pray for his safe return to you. I am sure this is not an easy time for you. Just keep in mind that he is over there doing an important and nessesary job and you should be damned proud of him. I'm sure that no matter what you're doing you will be thinking of him but the time will pass faster if you find things to keep you busy. Fill your day with so many tasks that you don't have time to sit and worry. It may also be helpful to contact your husbands military base to see if they have any programs that offer support for military spouses. (most bases do) Good luck and god bless you and your husband.

Answer 5

My husband is currently in Iraq, so I can sympathize with your situation. We have been married 2 years and he's been gone for about a year of that. The best thing to do is keep busy. Hang out with the other military wives in your area. They will understand and participate when you feel like having a complaining session. :) Find things that you love and do them. Volunteering helps me cope because while I am with those people, time flies.

Answer 6

I want to tell you how much I respect your husband for serving his country. He is very brave. I can understand how hard it must be for you. Do you have any girlfriends to help you with your loneliness? What about other wives of soldiers? Or yours or his family? Reach out. I'm sure someone will respond to you. Again, thank your husband for me.

Answer 7

Take each day at a time...try to fill the time with a hobby to keep your mind on something else and he'll be back soon enough... Good Luck!

Answer 8

Dear LonelyWife,

You pray and be strong, but do not waste your time missing him before he leaves. Enjoy all the time you have and be happy so he is not sad. It is tearing him up too. Good Luck and Let him know how we proud of him and what he is doing!!! GOd BLess!!! Be Strong. Keep in touch in theis site and you will be occupied while he is gone!!! We will keep you smilin!!!!!

Answer 9

First of all those answers ^^^ are bullshit!!! you need to say true and honest. Find some military wives who are going through the same thing. Partner up.

Answer 10

ok take it easy and always pray to the good Lord for his safety and protection from harm. If you have children or relatives in your home please mingle with them and talk of positive things and thoughts. please do not indulge in anything that may harm your marriage. Again pray to God.