Why does my mom not agree with my life decisions? What can I do?

Question

I mom wants me to concieve. I have had sex, but not to try to concieve. She wants me to have kids. I am 23, and I feel like I'm not ready. I feel like I need to loose some weight before I even try to concieve.
My mother is mad at my because she wants grandchildren. She keeps on calling me a rich ***** and stuff like that. She is just getting on my nerves.
She told me that I need to pick my lazy butt up and try to concieve. I told her nicely that I am simply not ready for children and that I don't feel comfortable with having kids at the moment. She just snaps at my again and says that I am a fat ******. I am getting very angry at her and when she calls I don't answer. Thankfully, she hasn't come to my house yet. She has sent me tons of emails though that just crushed my heart. She said she was ashamed of what I have done to my body and that she doesn't blame me now for not wanting to try to concieve cuz my body is crap compared to my husbands.

What do I do?
What else can I say?

Oh, also, when I was 21 I concieved, and had a miss carriage, since then i feel my mother hated me. so i think that's a prob.

Also- puhlease don't ask me to ask her when she first tried to concieve.

Cuz I was her first "concieved one". She was 16 when she had me!

she first tried to concieve at age 14

Is this serious enough to report to the police?

Answer 1

Well to be honest moms have this thing where they want the best for their children. The typical american, all american life. Shes just looking out for what she thinks is for your best interest. And if you've gained alot of weight perhaps she in concerned for your health both mental and physical. You need to perhaps try to tell her in person how you feel. that the pressure of having children now isnt what you need, and your just not ready to have children at this time of your life. if you are wanting to concieve eventually let that known to her. Let her know if she must voice this concern have her do it on a less occasion. BUT she does have a right to be concerned but the way she does it needs sproofing. AND> on the body issue what you said didnt make any sense. perhaps you should work on your typing, english?

But talk to your mom about that too. ANd your husband. DO NOT forgot to bring your husband in the children talk. Let him know and have an imput as well.

If you want to lose weight thats great but make sure its for health reasons and not appearnce. plus once u have kids ur figure will go again. so make sure that u understand that. so maybe having kids after dropping 5-10 lbs and ge pregnant and keep working out by work outs your OBGYN may give you. so you can make sure u keep getting in shape/ stay in shape. talk to ur doctor , ur gyno and when pregnant a OBGYN about exserise and diet. cause all ur hard work will go when u get pregnant.. so maybe start it...keep it goign safely and after breast feeding is over than go hard core if u wish..


god luck


talk to your mom.. if not in person on the phone or through an email

Answer 2

Bottom line don't have a baby until your ready. She should be urging to wait until your 30. My son is 23 and I tell him to wait. He says the same that he is not ready to have children. I am glad that he wants to wait since I was also 16 when I had him. I think your mother is selfish and mean. She could be jealous because she had to be sattled down with a baby at a young age. Not saying babies are an inconvenience but they can be when your not ready for them. My daughter is 22 and she wants a career before having kids and I tell her to go for it. There will be plenty of time for babies. I want to be a grandma too but I also want my grandbabies to have a good life and for their parents to be as ready as they possibly can be. And for her to call you vicious names is uncalled for and I wouldn't speak to her until she starts treating you with some respect. You do deserve that after all do you know how many teenagers are running around pregnant and have no life because of it. Enjoy your 20s and wait. I wish you all of the luck in the world. Besides with a mother like that why would you be in a hurry to give her grandchildren? What so she can treat them like that the first time they don't give her what she wants?

Answer 3

And I thought my mom was bad !!! She is not doing anything for you to call the police. It sounds like she thinks that people should have babies very young. If you are not ready , that's it. I would stop talking to her. She will come back to you. She is being a horrible mother and needs to mind her own. Tell her to leave you alone , unless she doesn't want to have anything to do with any possible grandchildren in the future. I know its harsh , but sometimes that is the only way to get through to our parents. I stopped talking to my mother for 3 weeks , and she has stopped bad mouthing my husband. It does work ! Just try it and see how it goes. God luck :)

Answer 4

Listen to your heart, if you say that you are not ready just yet, then dont force yourself or let anybody else push you otherwise.

Your being on the heavy side for me, is some sort of a rebellion to the way your mother has been trating you, sapping you of all the confidence that you ever had.

I suggest you learn to focus more on other things that interests you.... Learn to love and accept yourself for what you are and what you have become.

Tell your mother gently if you could, to mind her own business. I dont know for sure how that is possbile but try anyway... :)

Answer 5

first, investigate.

what age was she when she first tried to concieve. learn some stuff about her so your arguements aren't one-sided. if this doesn't work you need to just ignore her. if you're not ready, don't have kids. children are a HUGE deal, and you want to be happy when you have them.

if ur mom is not cool with this then consult the Bible. The Bible has so many things to say about pressure, and pregnancy, and children. even parents pressuring kids.

if you need more help email me at [e-mail]

i hope this helps!

Answer 6

Stay away from that mother of a sweet daughter (u). You sound like a devoted christian by all the questions i have read of yours. Just stay away from your mother and tell her that you don't feel comfortable with what she's saying. Let all your emotions out to her through phone. She'll realize then, that you feel depressed now that she is pushing you around.

You are not a baby machine, and I know that that is what you feel like. You feel like you are supposed to be making grandchildren 24/7 right???

Good Luck
God Bless

Answer 7

Get the hell away from that woman! She and my mother would be 2 peas in a pod. Tell her to mind her own business and you'll have a baby when YOU feel it's the right time. As far as your weight goes, that's your struggle not hers and she obviously does not want to help you with that issue either. Change you email addy & your phone #. She sounds poisonus, imagine when you do have children how she'll bad mouth you in front of them. OYE!!! I feel for you sweets. Don't back down to her & draw the line. Good luck.

Answer 8

well i say have them when u are ready...ur mom is being really disrespectful towards you..maybe u needs to sit down and have a talk with her..if ur not ready for kids ur not ready i dont blame you...im 21 and i have a 2 yr old and 1 on the way and it is so hard to be a mom..she is not right what she is saying to you..what kind of mom is she trying to be...just simply tell her ur not ready and leave it at that..my mom couldnt wait to be a grandma...i think all moms are like that,,but she didnt cuss me out just because i didnt want to have a baby. good luck with ur mom and the relationship

Answer 9

I don't even know what to say. You can't very well kick your own mother out of your life, but what else can you do?

She cannot force you to have children, shame on her. This isn't the 17th century.

And you are not going to lose weight if you have this negative force bringing you down and making you unmotivated.

Obviously you are married, and your hubby loves you for who you are, so don't listen to that crap.

You are still young, don't have kids until you and your hubby are ready, and tell her if she doesn't get off your back then you'll have to take drastic measures.

Good luck.

Answer 10

TELL HER 2 GET HER STANKIE A S S E D FACE OUT OF UR WAY!!!!!!!!!!!
THAT U R A WOMAN,
NOT HER LITTLE GIRL,
SHE CAN'T TELL WHAT 2 DO, ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!
TELL HER 2 GET THE H E LL OUT OF UR LIFE,
IF SHE KEEPS UP HER CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'M NOT SAYING LOSE RESPECT 4 UR MOM,
BUT, LADY CUT THE CORD ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TELL HER IF SHE WANTS KIDS, (GRAND OR WHAT-EVER)
GO GET SCREWED AND HAVE 1,
THAT WAY THEY WILL B W/ HER 24/7/365!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DON'T LET HER GET 2 U ANYMORE,
IF UR BIG SO,
THAT'S U, IF SHE DON'T LIKE IT,
TELL HER 2 STAY THE H ELL AWAY,
FROM U AND URS!!!!!!!!!
U R STILL YOUNG, U'LL B OK,
FIND SOMEWHERE 2 GO,
IF AND WHEN SHE SHOWS UP,
AFTER AWHILE,
SHE SHOULD GET THE MESSAGE.
IF NOT TELL HER 2 F U C K OFF.................