how long do couples last?

Question

Hi,
I consider myself a very emotional person. I often joke that I was "built for monogamy" and it's true. I see such a portrayal of the gay male lifestyle as promiscuous and parties and stuff. I don't want that life at all. I want to find one guy who is right for me and give everything to him, devote myself to him. I guess what I am asking is, are there gay male couples out there and how long do they last? I have already gone through heartbreak and I have this unappealing image in my head of "Me in 10 years", an aging old "queen" with lots of lovers who has settled down with no one and is all alone.

Answer 1

Sweetie, with your spirit and all the love you have to give...I seriously doubt your future will turn out like that! :)

I am proud to have several gay male couples in my life. Some have been together for only a few months. Some have been together for over 10 years. I really think it just depends on the couple. It sounds as if you have put your heart out there already, and it's been stepped all over. I would imagine that you are very discriminating in who you will date, and that can be frustrating too.

I know you're not looking for a quick fix. And, unfortunately, it might not be a quick fix.

When I met my wife, I was going on almost 7 years of NADA..lol. Talk about a dry spell. Oh, I had some fun along the way...but it just didn't have any substance. When I wasn't looking for her, she just strolled into my life and turned it upside down.

I just know that you will find your prince charming. It could be that he is out there, looking for you, too. He is getting himself together, wrapping up old issues, making his life as happy and bright as he can....so that when you come along, he'll be ready. I think you should do the same. The best thing about the love of your life is that they compliment your life....not just make your life.

Get out there and keep going. Get interested in hobbies or something that inspires you. While you are growing as a person, he just might walk into your life. I just know he's on his way to you!

Answer 2

My dear child, you're not the only one who was built for monogamy. My partner and I have been together now for 25 going on 26 years this October. Yes, it's been rocky in some places but over all its been something I'd do over again. You should be looking for a long term partner if that's what your standards are. No, the gay lifestyle may portray parties and random sex (just as the lesbian lifestyle does) but there are more confirmed couples out there than you realize. Keep looking for that special person. You're certainly one that's worth the wait it sounds like. Blessings on you, my Son.

Answer 3

"Why do non-married couples last longer than married couples?" Really? Do they? Can you name any unmarried couples that have 56 and 61 years together? Cause that's how long my parents and in-laws have been married. Myself am married for 25 years so far. My sister and brother-in-law celebrated their 30th Wedding Anniversary. Another brother has over 20 years too. Lots of others in my family have the same sort of longevity to thier marriages. Perhaps what you fear doesn't have to happen if you choose more wisely in the first place, and with more commitment in the second?

Answer 4

Don't worry, there are plenty of men out there that want to settle down. I see this question all the time. Also, I hear a lot of old gay men say that they have been in a relationship with their partner for anywhere from 20+ on up. It'll happen when it's time. In the meantime, hand tight and know that Mr. Right is out there and don't settle for Mr. Right Now.

Answer 5

My husband and I met on Halloween day 1989 while both serving the USAF. For three months he says he flirted with me - -it was no kind of flirting I have ever seen so I had no idea what he was doing I just assumed he was mental or something. Then on New Years Eve we ran into each other at a gay club - I was floored! We immediately began dating exclusively....he wanted me to move in with him right away but I said no. I wanted to get to know him - and I wanted a 'marriage' on 5 Sep 1992 we said our "I love you's" in a ceremony in front of friends and family (not legal but certainly more heart felt than a lot of people) and then we moved in together. Like any couple we have had our ups and downs but it has always been 'we'. I have someone I am walking through life with, I have someone I am growing old with, I have someone that loves me and protects me......and hopefully he feels I do all of these things for him.

Here in the Midwest that sort of thing seems very common, I know so many couples it would bore you just to read their names!

Answer 6

Just like any other couple, depends on the strength of commitment.

Having had close gay friends, based upon their experiences recounted to me, the gay lifestyle is prone to promiscuity. I have known at least one gay couple that lasted for many years.

Keep in mind the chances of ending one's life by fatal disease reaches high proportions in that lifestyle choice. May leave you completely without friends as everyone around you ends up dying.

Answer 7

All relationships can be ended, however if both work at communications in the beginning this tends to strengthen the tie.
I remember starting my relationship with my partner, my biggest beef was to be able to talk about anything and everything that was bothering me, same with her. We still practice this 1 yr and 8 months later. We still live separately in our own homes and talk every night. My objective was open in the beginning, to move slowly and learn one another, habits, etc. To this day my girl has not changed, Im sure that my girl has seen changes in me because Im the girly girl you see. Just remember move slow and be honest.

Answer 8

We all have insecurities about our futures. Trust me, there is a guy out there for you. You just got to find him and then work at your relationship.

I think the key to relationships is moderation. Don't be too needy but don't be too independent. Don't be all over him, but show him you love him.

I have been with my partner for 20 years. He is the first man I was ever with. However, it hasn't always been wine and roses. There have been times I wanted to strangle him, and I am sure the said could be said about me.

So you have to work to get your man and then you have to work to keep him.

Answer 9

Honey, relax....I was in a 7 year relationship and got dumped....since then I've been in a great committed relationship for 19 years...by brother in law and his partner have been together for 39 years...we're out there...trust me....you sound exactly like I felt after my first breakup.......give it a chance to happen...sometimes we look too hard.

Answer 10

It may take a while, but don't lose heart. There are plenty of decent men out there who are looking for that special someone to commit to. Don't rush into anything, but don't miss out on any opportunities either. I knew my husband for five years before we became involved.