Why is it everytime a person asks a legitimate question about infant formula feeding their child...?

Question

Someone always has to say something about breastmilk/feeding? WHY? Obviously, this is the choice they have made...it's the choice I have made after I decided to quit pumping. This is so uncalled for and irrelevant to their question. It is mean and rude. What about if those of you doing this who breastfeed asked a question about thrush on your nipples, and a formula feeding mother responded "Well, if you were using Similac you wouldn't have to worry about that."

Why can't you just respect other people and their children/decisions, and if you can't provide a valid answer that relates to the question, then don't respond. It's really nasty.

Answer 1

Because some people get a smug sense of superiority over their decision to breast feed.

Answer 2

Well, I've been lucky enough to be able to take a year off of work to breastfeed my son, and I realize how lucky I've been. Some people just don't have that option, because they have to work full time, or for other personal reasons. I really believe in breastfeeding as long as you can, but I'm not going to force that down people's throats, or get all smug about breastfeeding my son. It's not good to judge others that way, because we don't know about their lives. I know that formula fed babies somehow manage to survive like 99% of the time on formula, just like on breastmilk. Breastmilk is definitely better than formula, because it has the baby's exact DNA carrying antibodies that help protect from infections and the like. But there are formulas out there that are getting better and better at keeping babies healthy and strong, while their mothers are out earning the daily bread. Being a mother is so hard, regardless of whether you breastfeed your baby or not. That's just one of the many issues that we mothers have to face, and it would help all of us if we could just be supportive of each other's choices.

Answer 3

You're right, it's YOUR choice to make. I did the same, switched my son from breast milk to formula. I had to due to mastitis, not once but twice. I cried the day the doctor told me I had to switch. My son had latching on issues but I could pump it for him to be bottle fed. I got mail & phone calls from the La Leche League, telling me what a horrbile mother I was for using formula, that my son would grow up stupid & have a low IQ & worse. Funny thing, he's state recognized GATE certified, meaning he's smarter than most kids his age. I was formula fed too, being a child of the early 70s when breast feeding wasn't a big push like it is now. I'm not stupid either.

Feel comfortable in your decision to switch. Obviously, there was a reason why you did. Remember, you have an ally in your court, me.

Answer 4

People who answer questions about formula with their breastfeeding power speeches are obviously very judgmental, jump to conclusions, and lack the basic skills of standing in someone else's shoes for a minute. Why is it that everyone who breastfeeds assumes that people DON'T know that breast is best? We all know that. But you know what, I would bet that some of those breastfeeders are overweight. Don't they know "thin is best"? I bet some of those breastfeeders smoke (and would never admit it though). Don't they know "not smoking is best"? I bet some of them allow their babies to sleep on their tummies. Don't they know it's "back to sleep"? I bet some of them turn out to be spankers. Don't they know that "hitting solves nothing"? I think you get the point. No one is perfect, not the breastfeeders and not the formula users. But, I honestly don't see anyone pushing formula on breastfeeding Moms. Those who breastfeed should be proud of themselves and feel content that they are doing the right thing for their baby. And those who formula feed are doing the same exact thing, it's what is right for their baby. And of all those "pushy" breatfeeders just don't get it that it's a personal matter and a personal choice. They never stop to think about the woman who physically can not breast feed. They don't stop to think about the woman who is on seizure medication for epilepsy and can not breast feed, not matter how badly she wants to. They don't stop to think about how a Mom may stop breasfeeding her 4 pound 3 month old daughter who was born at 25 weeks, b/c she is too weak to latch on. For some reason, those pushy breastfeeders think formula Moms are stupid, and it's quite insulting. I'm so glad you posted this question. It's nice to be able to vent it out.

Answer 5

I've wondered this myself. While I think breastfeeding is best, some women (such as myself) were physically unable to breastfeed their children.

I think as a rule, most breastfeeders assume that we formula feeders CHOOSE not to breastfeed. When I realized I couldn't feed my first son (then again, when I tried to feed my second son and couldn't) I can't begin to explain how awful it made me feel. I was given breasts for a reason, and I couldn't feed my babies.

I'm mostly over it now...I have two healthy, strong, beautiful little boys who were both fed with formula for the first year of their little lives, and they're fine. I'm certainly glad I didn't find this site a few years ago when I realized I couldn't breastfeed my older son. It would have added insult to injury, and made me feel like even less of a woman.

Regardless of why you don't breastfeed your child, you shouldn't be berated for it. Like I said, I still believe breastfeeding is best, but you know what...this is YOUR baby and you obviously do what's best for him. Plenty of healthy babies have been raised on formula and lived to tell about it. :)

Answer 6

I know exactly how you feel. I pumped for a while and couldn't continue. I was always pumping or feeding, round the clock. No time for showers! I get the same thing from other women. "Your not breast feeding? You know the breast is best..." I get so annoyed. Even some men have commented on it. That is the WORST! Anyway, I am sure one of these breast feeding proponents is going to catch me on day that I've had three hours of sleep, Look Out- psycho new mom!

Answer 7

Some kids do better on formula, my friend's baby would not drink breast milk, she refused and they had no choice but to feed her formula. I agree that people should keep those opinions to themselves, it is a very personal issue and in the end as long as the baby is healthy, well fed and happy what difference does it make?

Answer 8

Some people feel better about their own shortcomings if they can find something to feel superior to someone else about.

I chose to breastfeed and supplement with formula for 3 months and then switch over to only formula, and I really don't care what those hard-core breastfeeders think. Personally, I think it's gross and disturbing for someone to still be breastfeeding when their child is two years old, no matter how wonderful they think it is.

Answer 9

I have to agree with you. I had a WIC appt and the nutritionist asked me if I was breastfeeding and I said no and she gonna ask me why. I am like because one I do not want to and second it is better for me and my baby that I formula feed because I do have 3 older children to take care of as well and since my husband will be home from deployment on R&R for 2 weeks for the birth...during that time I would like for him to bond with the baby. I just hate people who try to push things like this off onto people who do not want to breastfeed. It is not we formula users be pushing off formula feeding to breastfeeding people.

Answer 10

I agree...I breastfed for 3 weeks and had to stop due to mastitis which required surgery and kept me in the hospital for a week, on major painkillers, and unable to care for my baby. I cried at the idea of giving up breastfeeding, but I had to do it for my own health, to avoid another infection, and so I could be at home rather than hospitalized again. I just feel like the lactation consultants were very pushy, that it was like a cult or something.....I felt much better after switching to formula. The pressure was OFF! My son is very healthy and very bright. :)

Answer 11

good point! I mean if someone is asking a question about breastfeeding or breastfeeding vs. formula, etc...then I think it's fine, but if someone is asking a simple question about formula that has NOTHING to do with breastfeeding then it is just plain rude to put them down for not nursing. How is that helping anyone? I am a breastfeeding mom and think breast is best in most situations, but to try to PUSH that on someone who is not asking about that is unhelpful at best and could be extremely hurtful...I think people who do that are just insecure in their own mothering and so have to put someone down for formula feeding to make them feel better about themselves.