I am in the midst of filing divorce, my husband is threatening to fight for full custody of our daughter, he continuously tells me because he makes more money he will get her, is there any truth to that? Also, what is considered mental abuse in Illinois?
2006-08-14 13:22:26 · 8 answers · asked by reds074 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Honey, he's just bullying you. Stop being in the midst of filing for divorce and file already. There is a huge advantage to filing first and you don't even need an attorney to do it. Unless you are unfit, abusive, have a substance problem, etc...he can't obtain full custody. It's unheard of. He who has the most toys doesn't always win. The courts see right through most of this and are only interested in the primary care taker for the child. If you've done it all, you have nothing, and I mean nothing to worry about. They'll ask him one question about your daughter's teachers, or her pediatrician, even her favorite color and he'll be lost. Having more money is a bonus for him, he'll be able to afford better lawyers....BUT it's your money too and you can find a lawyer who will have your legal fees ordered to be paid by him in the divorce. This is actually ordered alot when one spouse seems to control the finances. Scrap your game plan of screaming mental abuse too. It's too hard to prove and it puts your character under a microscope. The courts are going to want to know why you stayed, subjected your daughter to that, etc. It backfires on people all the time. Play it straight. Walk in to the court system with clean hands and nothing to hide and you can't lose. Uhm another word of advice, I'd be doing some investigating as to what marital property you own before he starts signing it off until the divorce is over...this too, happens alot and in IL you are entitled to half of everything.
2006-08-14 13:50:43 · answer #1 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here goes:
Quit listening to him. Seriously, quit. He is full of **it. I know. He is not going to get full legal custody. He is going to get joint legal custody and you are going to be the primary physical custodian. He will have visitation every other weekend and one evening during the week. This is unless you are a severe drug user or have some other serious flaw as a Mother. No worries, I doubt you do.
As for the mental abuse, forget about it. In Illinois once you have been separated for six months you can get the divorce and do not have to allege abuse. Otherwise both parties can waive the six month separation period. If you choose to go forward without waiting six months and allege abuse, it is highly unlikely his attorney will require you to prove it in court. If this occurs, you are going to win. The statute is archiac and judges are going to let you get a divorce without having to put on a full case about abuse.
Best thing to do is start the process and get a temporary order on file with the separation documents. You will get custody as outlined above and probably maintain residence in the home at least until the matter is finalized. The judge is unlikely to change the custody arrangement from that set forth in the temporary order. So having the temporary order on file should help you feel more at ease about your situation.
The only thing your husband is gonna get is an order to pay 20% of his higher salary for child support.
Take a deep breath and then go get a good attorney. This does not necessarily mean one who charges a lot or will "fight" for you. Find out who got screwed in a divorce and hire their ex's attorney. :) Good luck!
2006-08-14 17:44:37 · answer #2 · answered by Mos 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So sorry to hear you are getting divorced but I got divorced in Illinois. An it does NOT matter if yout soon to be ex makes more money. ( outta 10 times the mother gets the children) Unless he can prove without a resonable doubt thast you are a unfit mother. SO DO NOT LET HIM INTIMIDATE YOU DEAR. Mine tried this and it did not work. I had a great lawyer I was divorced and then after 1 year moved outta state with our only child and it was not against anything. The only thing I had to do was let him know where we reisded and the school he attended. I am sorry I cannot comment on mental abuse for there are so many loop holes to distinquish mental abuse. Good Luck to you:)
2006-08-14 13:32:49 · answer #3 · answered by Abigail 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a friend out in Illinois who got a divorce and no matter what, the judge will always favor the mother unless she is proven to be unfit.
I feel sorry for my friend. He is a nice guy. The reason he didn't get joing physical custody was because he worked long hours.
You'll be fine. You'll end up getting full physical custody. And I believe joint legal custody; perhaps full legal. I'm not sure on the legal part. I'm not in IL.
Good luck.
2006-08-14 14:02:19 · answer #4 · answered by Cathy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to circulate to the courthouse and report for divorce. the only time you go with a lawyer is that in case you're struggling with the divorce. If the two events are pleased with the divorce and characteristic settled each little thing on their own then it relatively is plenty greater much less high priced to get divorced. My divorce value me $750 uncontested (we've been the two pleased with it and had already seperated each little thing) only so your sister knows of Illinois state regulation states that he will ought to attend a minimum of 6 months to get married after the divorce is very final. superb advice tell him to circulate to the courthouse and only report no remember if it relatively is uncontested.
2016-12-11 08:48:27 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No money doesn't play a big part in divorce as long as you can provide for your child who makes more is not important... Mental Abuse i am not sure of although one of my divorces was in IL. that wasn't the cause i would say still 90% of judges award custody to the mother always unless she is proven just completely unfit... Good luck and do not let him use scare tactics and that's just what it is..
2006-08-14 13:28:15 · answer #6 · answered by Amy M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is hard to prove mental abuse but it is possible, and as for the fact that he has more money, that is a load of crock, he is just trying to scare you. I would go and find a center for women, they can help you in defining what is mental abuse and proving it. Also if you can get a lawyer I would do it. The womens center should help, if you can't find it under women's center then try a domestic violence shelter. You don't have to live there to get help from there.
2006-08-14 13:31:46 · answer #7 · answered by tommyslili 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOOK IF HE TRIES TO GET YOUR DAUGHTER JUST PLAY TIT FOR TAT; THE ONLY THING THAT WILL HAPPEN IS THAT YOU BOTH WILL HAVE TO SHARE HER(JOINT COUSTEDY) MIGHT NOT LIKE IT ,BUT HAY YOUR DAUGHER CAN HAVE THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS. AS FOR WHAT IS CONSIDERED AS MENTAL ABUSE IN ILLINOIS. STATES DOESN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THAT. AS FAR AS MENTAL ABUSE IS CONCERND IT IS WHAT IT IS. GOOD LUCK. GO GET A LAWER
2006-08-14 13:41:48 · answer #8 · answered by lordfreedom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋