How do I go about making my husband get counseling or anger management?

Question

He's so mean to our kids and he really needs help. How and where do I get him to go? I live in Utah, and aside from reporting him, i don't know what to do?
Will the police help or am I wasting their time?

Answer 1

You can't make him get counseling or go for anger management. What you can do, and what I'd do if I was in your place, is tell him he either stops the abuse or he moves out. He (and you because you haven't stepped in and stopped it) are abusing your kids very badly. Do whatever you need to do. If he's physically abusing the kids, the police probably will arrest him if you call them and they see evidence of the abuse. Please get after it. There are hotline numbers you can call. Here's one: 1-800-4-ACHILD

Answer 2

Obviously you and your husband are already married for some years. I assume you guys have been in good relations over the years, since you have more than 1 child.

People gets more stress and pressure while family size growing: the family budget turns bigger, the # of bedrooms needs more, wife/husband spending too much time on kids (as a mom/dad), etc. So two things here: pressure to earn more $ and illusion of losing love.

Realizing the issues and thinking to help him out is a great 1st step ~ can a cop help, I doubt; can a counselor, I think so. But first you need to think it over and talk to him in a constructive way, listen to what he's saying (He might not think he got any problem), you can work from there - communication between you two is the most important and most effective one, you guys have come a long way, why not solving this problem?!

You mentioned he's mean to kids, I'm guessing your kids are young, kids can tell daddy directly their feelings, and daddy (at least me) does care.

Communication among family members is so essential to keep a family a healthy one. But most of the time, each of us, just too busy dealing with our own interest (daddy playing golf and dreaming of $; mom overwhelmed by kids' schedules; kids busy on the PC), we forgot to talk WELL to each other.

Understand you guys live in Utah, nice place. Should have various groups (such as religious) may also help if he's willing to go there. But bottom line is still family needs to solve the issue inside, which will build stronger family.

Good luck and all the best wishes!

Answer 3

I so been there done that! I know how you feel, I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that he doesn't probably treat you that great either. I live here in Idaho and I've called the cops on my husband once. They were SO good about it, they ended up having to get 2 cops to restrain him and made him spend the night in jail. :) Nothing like a night in jail to humble a man! The sheriff and the detective called me before they released him and asked if I wanted to press charges.
As long as you are willing to put up with it and do NOTHING about it is as long as he will treat you and the kids that way.
DO SOMETHING! NOW!
I gave him an ultimatum and I was SO prepared to back it up. Either he goes and gets the help he needs or we're gone. Choose not to live in an abusive environment anymore. I'll be thinking of ya...let us know how it goes okay? You are going to be just fine.
YOU CAN DO IT! Your kids deserve it and so do you!

Answer 4

You can tell him that the relationship is in trouble. You are unhappy. Tell him that you need him to get counseling. He doesn't have to go, it's his choice, but it is also your choice on the decisions you make should he decide not to go.

And you HAVE to do what is best for your children. Being raised in an emotionally abusive environment is not teaching them strong self-esteem, or a balanced way of interacting with others. Don't let him teach them this behavior. You must take care of them, and you. Be strong. And good luck

Answer 5

He will only get help if he wants it. If he is being mean to your children you need to take the kids and leave. Even if you love him unless he gets counseling and you can see a change stay away.. Good luck

Answer 6

they will help to a certain degree but from past issues i feel they respond or act only after the guy has beaten or killed his victims to a pulp even if you have told them before of your problems do you love him and still want him then tell him he gets help or you and the kids are gone if he still refuses to go after telling him this then he isnt serious about you or the kids and you should get out of it now nothing is worth being abused over it. you have to be the bigger person think about your kids

Answer 7

Do you want your boys to be abusive to women? Or do you want your daughters to be abused?? It is no longer about saving him. But your children. Children learn by what they see not what you say (as much). It will take your husband to make changes. If he doesn't RUN FOR YOUR LIFE...MORE SO YOUR CHILDREN. The children are counting on your to provide safe and peaceful home. You owe them that. Let them see you strong enough to leave. They will gain strength later in life to face difficulties because of you. Take Care and best wishes to you and your family.

Answer 8

You can not force someone to get help if they do not want to or believe they need it. If your husband is mentally abusive to you or your children you need to get out. Give him an ultimatium to seek counselling and get help or leave. i lived in an emotionally and verbally abusive relationship and it only hurt me and my children. Do yourself and exspecially the kids a favor and don't wait for him to have an epiphany, protect your family and do whats right for them and you.

Answer 9

You can't change someone really. Your last resort would be to just leave. Sounds like he needs some mood stabilizers.

Answer 10

break up with him