I have dated this guy for several years, and we were in an on and off kind of relationship. He always tells me he wants to marry me, but we fight alot, have lots of disagreements, and he's done stupid things to me; like lied where he was, hasn't really brought me out with all of his friends, took me over to his parents' house about two times, and I'm usually the one asking or making plans for us to get together, like I'm chasing him. Yet whenever I break it off with him for his jerk ways, he becomes a new person, crying that he loves me, can't live without me, and promising changes and wanting me back. When I take him back, it usually starts again, or something else comes up. I always doubt my choices, and go back. My friends think we're wrong together. Does he sound legit? Am I just a doormat here? Or is real love filled with this kind of drama all the time?
2006-08-14 13:17:54 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Real love does not have this kind of drama. A man who loves you won't act like that. A man who loves you will call you, be honest to you, be excited to introduce you to his friends and family, and will want to spend tons of time with you. A man that loves you will not lie to you and then try to manipulate you to get you back. You will KNOW when you are with the right man, and not have to ask strangers on yahoo. This guy is full of it--if you really want to marry someone you don't tell them over and over, you put a ring on their finger. Pure and simple. This guy is wasting years of your life. Get rid of him.
2006-08-14 13:27:41 · answer #1 · answered by M L 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
While many people think that love and life are like soap operas, I personally don't. The constant fighting should be your first clue that this is not the right relationship for you. I can't live in constant turmoil, it is just too hard on the emotions & health. And a good relationship isn't like that, you love & trust the other person. You are a part of their everyday life, not an afterthought.
I think that you have given this jerk one chance too many. All you are doing is preventing yourself from meeting a decent man. Perhaps you are fearful of being alone. And if you have never been alone it can be frightening. But, trust me, alone is way, way better than being unhappy. And this man is not improving your life.
And after several years, don't you think enough is enough?
2006-08-14 20:30:07 · answer #2 · answered by momma dog 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Does he sound legit? Well, real maybe but honest? H___ no!! "Am I just a doormat here?" Yup, you're being jerked around big time. It may be some version of love but not a type I'd recognize or recommend. The real question for you is, given that the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior, why are you putting yourself through this torture?
2006-08-14 20:25:38 · answer #3 · answered by DelK 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like you are the perfect woman for him, in his eyes. You put up with his $#!t. You break it off because he's a jerk and as soon as he "proves" he's changed, you let your guard down and take him back. If I were you, I would permanently break it off. You deserve better than his immaturity and if he can't treat like you need to be treated he just isn't worth it. Real love has it's drama but not like this. You are letting him treat you like his doormat by taking him back over and over. You can't change the stripes on a zebra.
2006-08-14 20:26:59 · answer #4 · answered by Antisocial 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yea listen to ur friends, he just wants to hurt u. He doesn't know what he wants he is a jerk if he treat's u like that leave him and get something better than that. ya he is wrong for u. yea he sounds legit. I'm glad that u see that Ur a doormat cuz other ppl don't realize that cuz they are so in love. it is not a real love he just acts like a jerk how old is he anyways?
2006-08-14 20:35:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think he's the right guy for you. Do you want a life where you'll always be the one who gives up and forgives and he will be the one who makes promises and never keeps them? I'm sorry. I know it hurst but it's better to break up now and find that guy who will love you and appreciate you. No one is perfect but when you'll find the right guy for you you'll know if and won't have to ask if he's right for you. It's all up to you. You kow how you feel. If you're with him just because you don't want to be alone then it's time to move on. Good luck!
2006-08-14 20:33:23 · answer #6 · answered by Dally J 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
that almost sounds like my relationship...but you should talk to him about it...like if you guys break up and hes crying and all that stuff ask him why he acts so different when you guys are together...if he really loves you then you guys can work it out and figure out a way for him to get better at showing you his true feelings and if he is still a total jerk...dump him there are more guys out there that can treat you like the goddess you are.
2006-08-14 20:25:53 · answer #7 · answered by Kelly 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you really think this is love???? You're setting yourself up for such a miserable life if you think so. End it now and move on, you've already wasted several years, how much more evidence do you need?? Spend time on your own, discovering new interests, rediscovering those who really care for you and then finally discovering real love. And leave the extra baggage behind!
2006-08-14 20:23:38 · answer #8 · answered by puzzledfemale! 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have to ask, I seriously doubt it. I always thought of that kind of thing as something that you just kind of know.
Besides, from the sound of it, you sound kind of tired of this all. Go find a guy. I mean no guy is perfect but this guy's just off.
2006-08-14 20:25:04 · answer #9 · answered by smile_its_benny 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Really, Really, Think about your situation. You have not told your age or the age of your boyfriend. It is my opinion, that love is not self serving. What do you want for your future? Do you want to be second guessing your relationship all the time? This is a decision that you must make.
2006-08-14 20:25:54 · answer #10 · answered by kayboff 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋