talking about divorce for various reasons...like for one thing, you have come to realize that you're more like just friends and don't feel romantic about each other anymore (after only a few years) and you still go out to eat with each other and whatever but don't go visit family with each other anymore...sleep in separate rooms but have tried several times to be romantic with each other but you both feel different than you used to and feel like something's missing and kinda awkward now ? And it's hard to go ahead with the divorce plans because you dread not being part of each others' lives but you know the right thing to do is move on and try to find someone else that hopefully better suits you ? There are no kids involved and one thing that drove us apart was not being able to have kids. Is there anyone going through anything similar ??? Please don't suggest counseling...just want to know if there's anyone else going through this same thing ???
2006-08-14 12:46:56 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
sorry, but no one is going to read all that.
2006-08-14 12:50:47 · answer #1 · answered by Love My Soldier 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it's tough when you still care about each other. All marriages go through this stage where the romance has gone out of the relationship. That doesn't mean the love is gone.
Some couples get through this and become happy again.
Both partners have to want to save the marriage. You both have to try to put the romance back into your life. Maybe you can start it off by suprising him with some sexy lingere. Go to a book store and find some books about spicing up your love life. Find things to do together that you haven't done before or want to do again like a concert, a fair, or a nascar race. Just to keep life interesting. If doing fun things together doesn't bring you two back together then go for the divorce knowing you gave it your best shot. I wish you both the best.
2006-08-14 20:59:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Same exact thing happened to me, almost the same reasons as well. Went through the counseling it just prolonged the agony for me. It is quite enjoyable to have a Friend that knows a lot about you and i believe that is the route you should take (from my experience) then to have a bitter enemy. Best that can happen is that it sparks up the dating thing between the two of you or you could end up with a very close friends. either way its better to be alone then unhappy and together.
2006-08-14 20:19:50 · answer #3 · answered by Titanic 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok girl....I have been married for a about a year and a half. I was lied to about my hubby being able to have kids. I have a 3 year old of my own. I want more,,,,but he isn't able to have any of his own.
Things get complicated. Don't divorce b/c you two aren't able to have kids. Try to adopt.
The other problems, I have also went through. My husband or I have slept in a different room. But we know we can't live without each other no matter what.
We both know that that its probably best for the both of us to move on....but we both know we can't live without each other.
Love is very tricky...and I am still in the middle of it.
Don't give up!
Give it your best. Take sacrafises....and talk about them with your husband. And try to make him take sacrafises as well.
If you 2 want to be together, you will make it happen. Adopt! Some charites if you look online, give children up for almost nothing...maybe about 3000.00.
Just talk to each other.
Sounds like to me there isn't enuf communication.
Please try....................the both of you!
2006-08-14 19:57:24 · answer #4 · answered by amandameibeyer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yep, myself.
No one finds their mates as earth-shatteringly, mind-numbingly attractive as they did when they first started dating... its just a fact of life... if you both mutually feel that way that's great. Its when one person still finds the other attractive, but they don't reciprocate, that's a problem.
The fact that you two won't leave each other means something "deeper" is there. Very likely co-dependence... subconciously, even though the other person doesn't fulfill a sexual need, they fill (or give the sensation of filling) an emotional void.
So in a nutshell... I wouldn't say counseling is needed. Dig down and find your raunchy side, find something that turns YOU on and put him in the drivers seat (so to speak...)
Good luck.
-Daniel
2006-08-14 19:56:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first off, just because your are divorced doesn't mean that you have to be totally out of each other's lives. My sister and her ex are still the best of friends. It sounds like you two are allready living seperate lives. It will be for the best in the long run if you finalize it and move on with your lives. Who knows who you will meet in the future.
2006-08-14 19:51:40 · answer #6 · answered by tommyslili 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the same thing happen to me (we were more like roommates.I let it go for far to long and we did go our separate ways.now I'm happily married and he lives like a hermit.We do not speak to one another but I think that's best.It was hard to make that split.Looking back I'm glad I did.We had a child. That was why I lived in misery for 10 years.(don't do that to yourself.) It only hurts for a while.Then you move on in a better direction if you choose the right path.(look for someone with the same interest as yourself.)
2006-08-14 20:07:10 · answer #7 · answered by reddograin 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have not done this personally, but I had friends who did. It was weird at first because everyone was afraid we'd have to choose sides, but we soon found out that they were remaining friends. the husband is now re-married and happy, and the wife is, well, shes kinda crazy, which is probably the reason they split in the first place. But both are still friends
2006-08-14 19:52:12 · answer #8 · answered by parental unit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am sorry this is happening. I know how u feel. i am going through the same situation however we do sleep in the same bed. my husband doesn't acknowledge that our relationship is falling apart. we are not sexually, he shoots me down all the time. i just do not have any physical attraction for him and i doubt he has the same for me. it is a tough situation. we do not have children eirther. but i know there is something wrong and my husband acts as if life is perfect. i even suggested therapy and he just shot me down.
2006-08-14 19:53:15 · answer #9 · answered by Looking 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A year ago I felt the exact same way. I kicked my husband out and dated other guys, only to find that I couldn't stand being without him. Maybe you need to discuss a seperation. It might be what you both need.
2006-08-14 20:00:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I am not going throught the same thing but it seems like it is an attachment and
are u sure there is nothing nothing at all you can do to be able to have children?
2006-08-14 20:49:59 · answer #11 · answered by JAZY 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋