I am in a relationship with a man who refuses to bring his clothes to our house that we both moved in together. He is still married after 3 years no divorce and now we live together. When we first meet he was nice and now that we live together he is now being very controlling, he tells me what i say go, can't go to the store i want to go to, only arab stores. he tells me to have his bath ready when he comes home and his dinner on the table if not on the table he gets mad. He tells me make sure i answer the cell phone and if i don't he gets real mad and wonder what i am doing. I can't take this no more. He said he wants to marry me, he is coming now got to go please write back He claimes to be so godly
2006-08-14 12:30:11 · 23 answers · asked by girlmiddle 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'd get rid of him. Controlling men are no good.
2006-08-14 12:34:10 · answer #1 · answered by Antisocial 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, do you always go around picking up other people's garbage off the street? His wife threw him out for a reason and it's probably for the same reasons you are questioning your relationship with him. This has doom written all over it. Get out before you committ yourself to a life of misery. The last you wrote,you moved in together. What is keeping you there? If you have no place to go, then set his butt back on the curb where you found him and find someone more deserving who'll treat you a little better and have the bath waiting for you every now and then. As for his Godliness? I didn't know God to be so cruel. I was raised to believe he was of a loving nature...it's in the bible.
2006-08-14 12:56:55 · answer #2 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl you are in a heap of trouble with this man. Run, do not walk away from him. Big mistake for you to let him move in.
Just think for one second. He has left his wife. He now is with you but with no real ties except a lame promise you will be married.
When a man loves a woman he will not treat her as he is treating you even after marriage let alone before.
He is controlling everything you do. And if you do get married that control will get even worse. He doesn't trust you. He gets mad when you haven't done something his way.
You even sign this off because he is coming and you fear what he will do.
I can only imagine what your sex life is like. I can't think you ever enjoy it.
I understand you fear him, but that fear is mild compared to what it will be. Get out now. There is no other choice. You don't deserve this.
2006-08-14 13:30:31 · answer #3 · answered by John B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mom always told me and my older sisters that you will never know how someone really is until you live with them. In your case, your first mistake is letting a man who is still married move in with you. Secondly, you are kidding yourself if you think this man will leave his wife for you. Consider his attitude as a red flag. This is probably how he is in his own house with his own wife. In other words, controlling. Is this the kind of man you want to spend the rest of your life with? If your answer is no, you would be wise to terminate this relationship as soon as possible because you will never change him now, and you will never change him when you two get married (assuming he divorces his current wife first). Use your head.
2006-08-14 12:48:17 · answer #4 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why did you have him moving with you? even if you know he still married and not have divorce??? wow he sure is a bad news. and I think you can find a one guy better than him. I don't make rules under my house no way. My wife and I we are people in the house. we share our work at the house and it made alot easier than have one person control.. very control not letting you do what you want to do.. wow. You want a guy really trust you and didn't care if you cook or not if you don't feel like it and then guy will cook for you and that is not love... he don't have no trust in you.. pls., get out and moved somewhere where you can find a nice guy who treat you like love and caring not like the dumb butt now.
2006-08-14 12:38:52 · answer #5 · answered by greenbaypackers1920 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pack your clothes and get out as soon as he leaves. He has no plans to divorce his wife, he hasn't even really moved into your house if his clothes are not there - where are his clothes?
You are seeing the tip of the ice berg. He will only become more demanding. He obviously has no respect for you. He treats you like a servant - not someone he loves.
Look at your life! It won't get any better! It will get worse!
Get out of there while you still can. Do Not Marry Him!
2006-08-14 13:16:10 · answer #6 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is still married, he has no desire to divorce his wife. Why, she can have half of everything. IF he can claim to be so godly why is he telling you what to do, He is always checking up on you. Girl your in an aggressive relationship, and some day you will be dead. Leave.
2006-08-15 01:52:00 · answer #7 · answered by crafty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear girlmiddle:
I understand your frustration. I was one of those men who felt they were the "Kings of their Castles". It was about 8 years ago and I was attending a spiritual support group. We had spent a few weeks discussing "a man's role in the family". One night I came home with a new attitude. Before arriving home I recall thing "I'll show her who boss, we'll see who's going to make the decisions around hear etc. On and on I went until I found myself inside our home. My wife came to greet me and as a response I roared "from now on, I am the King, the Prophet, the Light and the Spiritual Leader of our home". My dear wife responded in a calm manner replying" that nice dear, I do not mind whatever you want to call yourself, just get your butt in the kitchen and do the dishes.
Well I'm still the king and I'm still doing dishes. My wife has taught me a lot about being humble.
2006-08-14 13:12:13 · answer #8 · answered by jaron 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why would u be with a person that is married?????????? guess what he cheated on his wife what is he gonna do to u??? think about it. he contols his wife and what she wouldn't do u do right? don't take it no more tell him to go back to his wife and live, which I am sure he sees often, let her do all the things for him u r not his keeper. why do women put up with that stuff is really love???? married men r not good to get into a relationship with. if he can't keep a wife or cheats on her he is not worth keeping for ur self
2006-08-14 13:01:16 · answer #9 · answered by gurlfriin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me get this straight, he expects you to cater to his every wish, be available whenever he wants you, but he is married to someone else? What are you getting out of this? What he's doing has nothing to do with God. It sounds like he is still living with his wife (keeping his clothes there), and messing around with you. Is this how you see the rest of your life? If not, do something about it. You have no obligation to him - he's not your husband. Hopefully you don't have kids with him.
2006-08-14 12:39:32 · answer #10 · answered by Tiss 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If it is like that now and you are not married it will only get worse. If he is muslim it is likely he is planning to keep the first wife and make you a second.
2006-08-14 12:46:44 · answer #11 · answered by K J 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋