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I've been dating my bf for 5 & half months now. I thought things were going great. Till I began noticing some things. Well, I thought I would I guess you can say "Test" him. Him & I are sexual quite a bit. I thought I would see how he would act if I didn't be sexual with him for a while. So I have not be sexual with him for four days now. I can tell he really wants me. He keeps trying with me, but I'm still not giving in. Now he seems less happy with me. He has this attitude like his annoyed or something. He hardly talks to me. Do you think he's only in this relationship for the sex? He tells me he loves me & all this..I just don't know anymore...I NEED SOME EDVICE!!! ASAP!!!

2006-08-14 12:09:55 · 44 answers · asked by Savanna 2 in Family & Relationships Other - Family & Relationships

Ok, I may have made a typo above that alot of you don't understand..Lol, I was some what embarresed to say...Im not neccasaraly "testing him" lol, I'm just going threw menstral cycle!!! You know that time of the month..I knew I should have mensioned that....Lol...To those who say Im stupid or any other insult...F*ck you! you don't know me..kk.. =]

2006-08-14 13:47:53 · update #1

44 answers

i think he is,cause most guys are in a relationship for that,i think mine is too

2006-08-14 12:25:12 · answer #1 · answered by BeGood. 3 · 0 0

You must be stupid. Oh, wait, no, you are just a girl.

Look, either you are happy with the relationship, or you aren't. You already know this. There's no need to "test" your boyfriend. If the relationship is well, "testing it" can only make it worse. And if the relationship is not good, "testing" won't make it better.

This is what millions of books have been written is all about. You know the kind, "Men are from Mars, Women from Venus", etc... Women say one thing, mean another, and do something else entirely. You say you love your boyfriend, yet you decide to "test" him by depriving him of sex. If you don't want to have sex, that's ok, but if it's just for "testing", you're an idiot!

Does your boyfriend "test" you by refusing to do things you appreciate. No! He probably does everything you tell him to, except the things that really are a bit too much to ask about anyway. He knows whether he's happy in the relationship, and has no need for "testing" his partner.

If I were your boyfriend, and found out that you were "testing" me by refusing to have sex, I would answer by "testing" you with something else, such as refusing to be faithful.

Now read me right. Men don't have a right to have sex. That's for sure! And you are in your full right to refuse to have sex with him. What I'm reacting against is that you do this only for "testing" him. If you are happy in your relationship, you should appreciate that, instead of trying to destroy it by "testing" if it would survive various stupid actions. Now grow up, and make a decision for yourself.

2006-08-14 12:30:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I am somewhat in the same situation except the guy I have been seein my guy since January bout 8 months, and I have known him for about a year. We have sex a whole lot...lol...but he's never actually expressed his feelings to me...I know there is love there because of the way he acts when I come around. He shares things with me that he doesnt share with anyone else. Does he do anything else for you other than sex or is that all you do? Do you go out? How long did it take in your relationship before you started having sex? Usually you can tell by observing your BF to tell if he just wants you for sex. If I were you, I would probably think that is all that is on his mind if he doesnt barely talk to you now that you stopped having sex with him.

2006-08-14 13:17:41 · answer #3 · answered by MzNikkiLC 2 · 0 0

What Tammy is saying is true. Most of us men are in relationships for the sex. If you base your relationship only on sex it will only lead to break a failure. Don't get me wrong sometimes we want to have sex, but this question only you can answere. Can I give it up and not care if he calls the next morning? My advise to you is to find a person with the same values that you have. The same goals in life. Get to really know each other before becoming too intimate Leave the compatibility of sex last for last. Who knows?, this way you can find a person that you can really build a long lasting relationship. Isn't that what you want?

I hope my answere has helped you.

mtolento@yahoo.com

2006-08-14 12:30:56 · answer #4 · answered by marco tolento 1 · 0 0

The real problem is that he doesn't know why the sex is being withheld.

he is afraid to say anything, lest the relationship turns south even more.

With sex already in the mix, it is an expectation that it will come with some degree of frequency.

It is true that some relationships are just for the sex, but with a change in policy without a real reason being stated, there is a resentment.

2006-08-14 12:23:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

With holding sex from your boyfriend is no way to see if he loves you. You sound pretty young, so you have to understand what you are dealing with is a hormonal young man who OF COURSE is focused on sex. They ALL are at that age (don't be so nieve.) But you shouldn't use sex as a weapon against him. Use your MOUTH and speak up!!! ASK him if he's in it for sex, and tell him what concerns you about the relationship. When you get older, you learn to appriciate sex and would NEVER think of with holding it because that punishes YOU as well. If you want to stop having sex thats one thing, but using it as a way to get attention is childish. Just talk to him. If you don't get the answer you want, then leave him. If your gonna ACT grown and have sex, then you've got to think more maturely.

2006-08-14 12:18:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

That is why your supposed to wait to have sex. The relationship needs to be based on something other than physical attraction. When you give it up in the beginning, a man is always going to expect that so when you take it away the man goes elsewhere. The reason why men are the way they are today is because of weak women.

2006-08-14 12:58:54 · answer #7 · answered by supraracer87 3 · 0 0

He is not only in it for the sex but for a boy his age that is a big part of it. You can't suddenly stop having sex with him without any reason. If you do, he will draw his own conclusions - the wrong ones.
If you were honest with him and told him that you didn't want to get physical for a month, he would be okay with that. But playing games and secretly testing him is just going to get you into trouble. It's no way to treat someone who genuinely cares for you.

2006-08-14 12:16:54 · answer #8 · answered by Bethany 7 · 0 0

Sex is part of happiness for males.. Maybe for just sex, but since considering sex as part of relationshp, denying him as a test is not a good way to go about it. That ends relationships whether women think its impotant or not...it is, sexual frustration is hard enough out of a relationship, being in one with no sex is worse, so my opinion would be to try another way of "testing"
him, but i wouldnt recomend testing anyone in a relationship.It just leads to problems, Take in to consideration his feelings, as he should be taking your into consideration. If you feel he is not then probablyit is for sex, if you truly are going to test him, get you hottest friend to hit on him when you arent around and tell her to act like she wont tell you and tell her to make it real easy on him by saying we can have sex no questions asked. and that she has secretly wanted him since youve been dating. Only a true guy would say no to that. If he says yes, maybe you should reconsider him. Be aware that this is risky and have plans to cover it up. Good luck

2006-08-14 12:24:39 · answer #9 · answered by a_neilsen2005 2 · 0 0

No, he's in it for more. But once a man has had sex, he wants more of it. YOu say you've sex with him? There's a right time and a wrong time, to test. I think he loves you! Does he ever seem distracted? That's evidence that he doesn't. Does he still act interested in you, and kiss you? That's evidence, that he does want you, as well. Ask him to tell you the truth, as to how he feels about you, what's wrong with you and what he likes about you.
Demand that he tell you, the truth! And you will have your evidence.

2006-08-14 12:16:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Any man that loves you should respect your choice not to have sex. But also, some men (regardless of what valid reason you have to not have sex) will still get crabby (maybe is congestion or something). I think there is a difference between being annoyed (maybe he thinks you are mad with him?) and being pushy or angry. Just be careful your test might make him feel inadequate!

2006-08-14 12:21:48 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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