Men over 45 need only reply - Serious Replies ONLY?

Question

I have a much higher sex drive than my husband of five years (he’s 51, I’m 46). I have learned that I can’t initiate sex because he feels threatened or out of control or something like that. I end up feeling unwanted and rejected. How do I put this guy in the mood without him knowing that is what I am doing, so that he thinks it is his idea and gets back his animal instinct?

Answer 1

Sorry to hear that, Try this,, Remember when you guys were dating, (not that long ago,) Well, try doing some of the things you used to do when you were Dating, you were happy, did not want to be away from one another, and probably had lots of sex. see if you can get him to go out with you and go and do some of the old things you used to do. It just might work!!

Answer 2

I wish I had someone like you in my life. I'm not sure I could keep up, but it would be fun to try. (That's not an attempt to cross any lines. It is just exactly how I feel about my own life.)

Unless you just keep after him all the time, I don't really understand why he gets angry. If you do keep after all the time, he may feel like less than a man knowing that he just can't keep up.

If you are in bed together, and he's not interested, pull down the covers and masturbate. Do it slowly and seductively. If he doesn't jump you, then something is wrong.

If you wake up while he's sleeping, take him in your mouth and get him hard. When he wakes up, climb on top.

And, here's a favorite fantasy of mine ...
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When he comes home, bring him a beer and sit him down in his favorite chair. Tell him you'll be right back. Then, go to the bathroom and draw a hot bath. Take off your clothes and put on your robe. Go in the bedroom and turn down the bed.

Go back the living room. Stand in front of him. Drop the robe. Sit in his lap facing him and kiss him really good and really long. Softly slip your tongue in his mouth. While you are kissing him, take off his shirt. Then kneel and take off his shoes and socks. Grab his hand and pull him to his feet and take off his pants and underwear.

Then lead him by the hand to the bathroom and climb in the tub with him. Talk to each other, wash each other. (If you're up for it, let him shave your legs. Mmmmm.) Dry each other with soft towels and then lead him to the bedroom.

Think of some things that you and he have not done together (or don't do very often) and do them.

During all of this, tell him that you love him, that you're glad he's your man and that you're his woman.

Answer 3

I know you said men only reply and over 45, but on a site like this you have to expect some others to answer! If you don't like what I have to say I'm sorry and just ignore it. When you said that he felt out of control or "something like that", it sounds like maybe you guys aren't on the same page. I could be wrong but it doesn't seem like you are understanding him. Why don't you try sitting down and just listening to what he says and find out what he wants? Maybe you guys can go see a councilor or at least talk amongst yourselves about what would turn him on. Good luck!!

Answer 4

I know you only wanted a man's answer but I would suggest you:
act disinterested in sex with him for a few weeks...masturbate if you want to without him knowing...and see if he pursues you. If you have serious problems it won't work but maybe he wants to be more traditional. Try also watching movies with sex scenes (don't go the porn route as that will threaten him) before bed...maybe pick up a classic movie or two with some hot scenes...

Answer 5

innocuous dancing or putting out does no longer get responses like "Wow, i might want to by no skill ignore that evening". Nope, he's dishonest. it truly is a not person-friendly difficulty, because in the web age it truly is really person-friendly to make up new digital mail charges and identity's and save this going. you've gotten a believe difficulty for a lengthy time period, and when you consider that he gained't come sparkling about each thing, it is now unlikely away each and every time quickly. My suggestion: enable him recognize what you believe you studied, and don't be placed on the protective...he actually might want to allow you to open get admission to to his pc and emails as an indication of complete openness and believe.

Answer 6

I am 51 and the shoe is on the opposite foot for me. I have the drive but my wife doesn't. One thing I've noticed is that it takes me longer to get interested. It takes more visual and erotic things to get me "up". I don't know if it is just age or what, but it definitely is happening to me. I haven't looked into Viagra, but will soon. Maybe your husband is in the same boat. If you are really more sexual than he is, perhaps you can do things to excite him that he isn't used to seeing. If you don't masturbate in front of him....start doing it. If you do, then find something that he isn't used to seeing. I have more ideas, but my daughter reads my answers, and I don't want her to know this stuff. You can contact me if you would like to hear more. Good Luck

Answer 7

Sorry to hear this, but this happens to us
around this age. Well how about trying
to get him to take some pictures of you
fully dressed, then as the session is going
good flash him, tease him believe me
it will get up and going. A couple of days
later try talking to him with a blouse with
no bra underneath and bend down so
he can see and see him get going again.
I had a girlfriend who always got my attention
by wearing skirts with no panties, boy did
that work. She made no moves, she didn't
asked for anything, she just got my attention.
She was good at that.

Answer 8

God has a sense of humor, and showed it by making women's libido kick in when the guys are declining. Five years is not long enough to get tired of sex with someone, so you might want to see if something like viagra might help. It does not increase drive, but many of us get very down that we have trouble getting erections when they came so easily not too long ago. Is your husband physically active? You might try to get him to workout at the gym or at home. I find weightlifting helps me and I am 59, so he isn't too old.

Answer 9

I think what's going on is he's afraid he won't be able to perform every time you want to. To remove that fear let him know it doesn't matter if he does or doesn't.

Give him an alternative. Get some toys. Have him join you in the fun. That way, it won't matter if the little man is ready to go, he can always pleasure you in other ways. But at least you're doing it together.

Answer 10

well, I'm only 43, but I would think if you walked around the house with your skirts a little shorter and did a lot of bending and talked seductively to him...that might at least get the spark going. One question, have you taken him to get checked out by a doctor? Maybe he just needs a little pill to help him out.

Anyway, I won't volunteer....only wish you good luck!!