Married for 4yrs to HS sweethart--been with him for 10yrs. He is the only guy I've ever been with. One of our friends is an old bf of mine from my earlier years in HS. Recently, we hung out while my husband was working late. We got drunk and had some inappropriate conversations about what we would both like to do if I wasn't married. Nothing happened then, but I'm not sure it won't happen in the future. I love my husband, but I think I'm doing this because I never really experienced anyone else. Any advise???
2006-08-14 11:44:26 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm sort of concerned by your comment of you not being sure it won't happen in the future. First of all, these things happen, someone gets drunk and things get said that you wish you could take back...we've all been there. However, I think you are looking at this wrong. I highly doubt it's because you haven't been with anyone else. I think it has to do more with the need of that kind of attention from your husband. You said he was working late, if he does this often, then you are missing something from your relationship and you've toed the line in finding it from someone else. Although tempting, don't do it honey. You know it's wrong, you even admitted to the conversation being inappropriate. I think it's time to sit down and have a heartfelt talk with the hubby. It may end the friendship with you and this other guy, but one has to ask, who puts a married woman in that position anyway. In hind site, he completely disrespected your husband....as did you. The difference is that you have a conscience and know better. Do you honestly think this guy is dwelling on this? No, he's probably dwelling on the conversation and the thought of carrying out the "what ifs".
2006-08-14 12:02:38 · answer #1 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What do you mean your not sure it won't happen in the future? You have complete control of whether or not that happens again in the future. You can choose whether or not to get drunk with an old boyfriend, late at night, without your husband. Don't be a victim of situation here, make your choices (I hope those choices help your marriage), and take control of your own destiny!
2006-08-14 19:07:09 · answer #2 · answered by daisyk 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, this happens whether you've been with a lot of people in the past or not. As long as you don't act upon it with your friend and hurt your husband in the process. You would be wise not to put yourself in such a vulnerable situation (getting drunk w/ another man alone) where you would be in a position to be intimate with another. It's not right.
2006-08-14 18:55:41 · answer #3 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Placing yourself in a situation in which you will "question your behavior" is never a good idea. Honey, if you "really do love your husband..." DON'T put yourself in these kind of situations. Emotional cheating is just as hurtful as physically cheating on your spouse. It sounds as if you have some regrets.
Tell this "friend" that you don't feel comfortable being "alone" with him, if he has any respect for YOU, he WILL understand...if he continues to "ask for you to be in these situations..." then you need to end things NOW. Ask yourself this question: Is this friendship worth losing your marriage over....
2006-08-14 19:05:29 · answer #4 · answered by sammie 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm going through the same thing right now. My boyfriend is in the military and so is his friend. His friend really likes me and I really like him, and we would have dated but we didn't know how each other felt so now he's feeling me really hard and I'm feeling him really hard. I love my boyfriend, but I am really feeling dude. But I have decided to let it play out and see what happens. If me and dude sleep together then it happens, at least I know it was fate, because if it wasn't it wouldn't be happening. You just gotta go with your instincts. Even if you do cheat on your husband, he will probably forgive you if he loves you like I think he does. At least you won't be wondering what would have happened if you would have taken that chance.
2006-08-14 19:00:03 · answer #5 · answered by hnic_shannon 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you love your husband do not put yourself in the situation of being alone/drunk with another guy. Think how you'd feel if the situation was reversed.
2006-08-14 18:53:18 · answer #6 · answered by orionsgirl76 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ya if you love your husband than dont do this to him, he dont diserve it, if you have to get rid of the other guy tell him that you can not be friends with him, that you are married and think that it is not apropriate. then you need to get a grip or your self and you need to realize that you are married and should love the guy you are with enough to neve want to do something like that to him.
2006-08-14 18:49:47 · answer #7 · answered by Blonds Rock 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes -- don't be a sl*t.
Typical female.
2006-08-14 18:55:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if u really luv him. u won't do any such thing
2006-08-14 18:50:07 · answer #9 · answered by WORLD CLASS 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
curiosity killed the cat
2006-08-14 18:56:00 · answer #10 · answered by nicole l 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋