Child support?

Question

My ex husband and I divorced with a "common' agreement. With both of our incomes, he was suposed to pay $307 monthly. After a couple of months, I married again, my husband's a member of the Armed Forces, so we had to move from Florida to Virginia.
Now, my ex husband arguess he doesn't have to pay for child support because they don't spend time with him(they spent one month in Florida this Summer) and he has another child in the way.
I want him out of my life, but I don't think it's fear for my kids, or my husband that's providing for them now.
My ex calls me every day, several times, telling me not to go to child suport agancies, not to **** him up, he tells me if he goes to jail for no paying child support it's going to be my fault, he even said that he'll give up his parental right because he "can't handle child support'.
It makes me sick to my stomach,I wish he'll disapear..but I also know that my kids deserve the litte extra income he owes them.
Am I being selfish? unfair?

Answer 1

You are absolutely not being selfish or unfair. The purpose of child support is for the children's care. Your ex is a selfish jerk if he doesn't want to support his children. He has no legal basis to deny support for his children and you are being a good mother by protecting them from his selfishness.

It is amazing how hard people will fight not to pay child support. I would suggest stop dealing with him directly and get a lawyer to help you. You might even want to think about a restraining order to put an end to those phone calls.

Here is some general information about child support.

1. A parent cannot dodge his or her responsibility for supporting his or her children by "relinquishing his or her parental rights." This seems to be a popular myth completely unsupported by the law.

2. A court may take your new husband's income and your ex's new family into account when setting child support. First the amount of child support is determined by your income and your ex's income, the amount of deductions from income and the number and ages of the children. Then, the court may deviate from the result by considering other factors such as the income of new spouses or additional children in the households. The court will never allow him to let his children with you go without support just because he has another child with another person.

3. The fact that the children do not spend time with your ex is absolutely not a fact that would effect the amount of child support he has to pay. On the contrary, when children spent a considerable amount of time with the non-residential parent then the non-residential may be allowed a reduction in the amount of support as a credit.

4. Jurisdiction. I understand by "common" agreement you mean that the child support amount was agreed upon by both of you without a formal order being entered in court. Such an agreement likely doesn't protect the children if the husband stops paying voluntarily. If the children have lived in Virginia for more than six months and there isn't a child support order from a Floriday court you likely can petition for a child support order in Virginia where you live. This could be to your advantage if for no other reason than it is inconvenient for him to travel to Florida to challenge the order.

5. So, to get him out of your life hire a lawyer. The lawyer can get a restraining order and address the issue of jurisdiction and make sure your child support is accurately calculated. Child support is for the children and he is just being a selfish jerk by hassling you. He needs to support his children and, as unpleasant as it may be, you need to protect them by sticking up for their rights. Sounds like your heart is in the right place, don't try to do this alone--a lawyer will be a big help and worth the money.

Answer 2

Been there. my fiance x wife left him with 3 daughters to raise and she is in the military and doesn't pay or pays on an irregular basis and was even put in jail for for wilful failure to comply with a court order. Thus, all absentee parents regardless whether they see their children or not have a responsibility to help their children. At least it shows they cared enough to help as best they could. You need to stop letting him belittle you and make you feel guilty. He is their doner and needs to pony up the doe. But if getting him out of the picture is what you and your current husband both want then tell him to quit calling and forget about the support .your currently family's peace of mind is more importent. Besides as long as their still a court order let it float for a while letting him think all is clear and before you know it there will be thousands in arrears he owes-a lovely barganing chip for you. So play this game how you want. Oh by the way regarless of which state your in child support agencies can work with each other to get the owed money it takes time. My fiance had the agency in NY contact the agency in NC ( the mother lives there with her new family ) and got his case transferred there and thats how she got arrested and hopefully learnt that she has an obligation no matter where she lives. Good luck to you.

Answer 3

If you go to an agency, they'll start taking it out of his check. It's unfortunate that you had to move away, because he does have a right to see his child. However, it doesn't affect his obligation to pay child support. He cannot give up his parental right, it's a right of a child. That's why children from sperm donors are now coming back to try to collect from their donor. Of course, you're not being selfish or unfair. This has nothing to do with you and everything to do with your children. They deserve everything that he promised to them and more, if they can. If you let him get away with threats or the calls, you won't be looking out for your children's best interest. Stop worrying about it. Keep conversations short or contact an agency to take over the discussions. Don't let it get to you. It's not going to matter in the long run. Just remind him that he's doing it for them, not for you and he needs to be there for them. They need their father.

Answer 4

He should defiently pay!!! But he sounds like a loser and does not want to support his kids. If you and your new husband can afford it, I would just have your ex sign over his rights. He does not deserve to spend any time with your kids and obviously he does not care to take care of them.

Answer 5

Hell no child support is an obligation and you should never even have to force him to support his own child thats just plain grimy on his part and yes they are entitled to child support and if he cant handle cs then why is it that hes expecting yet another child maybe he should have a vasectomy then if he cant handle cs or maybe become celibate.

Answer 6

Its unfair for you............you need to got to child support
if you don't he will keep taking advantage of you.
he needs to provide to his kids
don't wait any longer

Answer 7

it took more then just you to have the children so let him pay