Do parents have the right to snoop through a childs bedroom?

Question

My friend sent me an e-mail saying how her mom 'found' her diary. She READ IT, and foudn out that my friend likes this guy. It was an old journal, and my friend told her mother thism but her mother does not believe it is the truth. My friend hates this guy now. Her parents are very strict and she is afraid her mom will tell her dad. Her mom already called her'disgusting', even though there was nothing 'disgusting' written in it.
Do parents have the right to snoop through their child's bedroom?
Do they have the right to read a private journal or diary?
And even if she had written 'disgusting' stuff, shouldn't that be ok? Considering it is normal?

Answer 1

If parents thinks that there is a problem, yes, they have the right to go through the child's belongings. I heard the "I have a right to my privacy" speech from both of my boys. My reply was that they could have all the privacy they craved when they started paying the bills. They really didn't have all that much to hide, but they had to rebel against authority, and I understood that, just as they really did understand that I was trying to protect them. My oldest son thanked me not long ago, for keeping him out of trouble (and for keeping him alive, but that's a different question).
If the parents at some of these places where kids have gotten into trouble had searched their rooms, and found the drugs, guns,or whatever, maybe some tragedies could have been avoided.

Answer 2

Parents have every right to search the child's bedroom, it's their house, they pay the bills...but they should have some respect for the child's privacy. My mom found my diary while she was cleaning my room, she left it on the floor, under the bed, dusted a perfect circle around it. She said she wanted to read it but then decided she really didn't want to know all of the horrible things I may have written about her. A diary is for writing whatever you want, if you have to censor what you write, what's the point?

Answer 3

Yes, parents do have a legal and I believe a moral right to poke through their kids rooms. Think of the needless waste of life because the parents of Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris (Columbine High School gunmen) did not snoop and had no clue what the heck their kids were up to. I, of course, believe this because I am a parent. As long as my kids live in my house, they have to abide by my rules. My parents did the same to me and I bet your friend will do the same to her kids. I can be held responsible for what my kids do. I do not want them growing pot in their rooms, selling drugs or storing weapons, etc...you get the point. As long as I can be held responsible for their actions, I will keep myself aware of their activities. I also wish to be aware of any other problems that maybe I can help them with. Do I think your friend's parents are a little out of hand? Yes. A little too strict? Probably. I would never read my kid's diary. I might poke around the room while putting cloths away but a diary is too personal.

Bottom line is, yes, they have a right to snoop however they see fit. I am truly sorry that your friend is confronted with this situation but she may just have to grin and bear it till she is old enough to get out on her own. I did. When I was 13, I started to collect housewares and such waiting til I could grow up and move out. I didn't have it easy either, but it all works to make you who you will become. She will learn very valuble lessons and grow from it. I promise.

Good luck to her.

Answer 4

Parents not only have the right, they have the responsibility to snoop through their kids' things because it is our jobs as parents to keep our kids, and other kids, safe.

I whole-heartedly disagree with mom calling child 'disgusting' and not believing daughter when daughter tells mom the truth. My mother was like this, and I know both the mother's and father's personalities VERY WELL.

Tell your friend to stop keeping a diary at home.

Answer 5

If the parent has good reason, or suspect their is a problem, yes! After all you are responsible for their welfare, and they are living in your home, under your roof, and your paying the mortgage, and the bills. My daughter now is 22 still lives at home and goes to college, and I still worry when she is out at night, until I hear the car pull in. I don't call her anymore, to see where she is, but I'm her mother, and of course I still worry. What kind of a mother would I be if I didn't??

Answer 6

Yes and no. Yes because as parents, they feel like they pay the bills, so you have no privacy. When you or your friend up your going to be the same way. But the diary thing was wrong.

Answer 7

I believe that a parent should respect their children's privacy to an extent. I don't think reading the journal was right. I would invade my children's privacy only if I thought there was reason for concern, but as long as they're open and honest I will let them be.

Answer 8

As a parent one value that I try to teach to my child is trust - how it's gained, how it's earned, and how you keep it. There is a certain level of trust between myself and my daughter. Because of that, unless I had some reason to believe that there was something wrong in my daughter's life (drugs, crime, abuse, etc) I would not read her diary, nor search through her room. If I had reason to believe there was something going on that I needed to know about though, I wouldn't hesitate. It is after all MY house, and MY rules. Sometimes it sucks growing up and parents are a pain, but in general they're always looking out for their children's best interests.

PS - my mom found a pot pipe in my room once. I told her it belonged to someone else (duh) and it was never brought up again.

Answer 9

I don't think parents have the right to invade a child's privacy that much - your bedrom should be your own space, especially as it's the only one you have in the house. I think your friend should talk to her mum about this, and maybe get one of those diaries with a lock on it.

Answer 10

I AS A PARENT BELIEVE THAT IT IS YOUR PRIVACY THAT WE WANT. YES THAT'S RIGHT YOU HEARD ME. WE AS PARENTS HAVE THE RIGHT UNDER THE ACT OF BEING UNDER OUR ROOF! YOU DON'T PAY RENT YOU JUST LIVE HERE AND EAT THE FOOD. NOW I LOVE MY CHILDREN AND I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR THEM, I HAVE A DAUGHTER AND SHE HAS A DIARY, BUT I DON'T HAVE TO LOOK AT IT SHE AND I TALK OPENLY ABOUT EVERYTHING, I TELL HER FROM MY POINT OF VIEW WHAT I THINK AND SHE FIGURES IT OUT FOR HERSELF WHAT IS RIGHT AND WHAT IS WRONG. I AM SORRY FOR YOUR FRIEND AND I FEEL FOR HER BUT YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND NOW A DAYS CHILDREN ARE HARD TO READ AND WE SOMETIMES ARE SO BUSY WITH OUR LIVES, SOMETIMES WE DON'T HAVE TIME TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT STUFF, NOW THAT IS A SAD STATEMENT ISN'T IT. YOU HAVE TO TAKE THE TIME TO SPEND WITH YOUR KIDS TO UNDERSTAND WHATS GOING ON IN THEIR LIVES, TRUST. THAT'S THE BIG THING AND THEY BROKE IT.