I have known him for two years. He and I became great friends for the first six-eight months(something like that). He said he was going to leave his wife. After we became intimate. He told me first he was in love with me, then I could not hold back my feelings and told him too. After having an emotional affair with him I see that he is not doing anything to proceed with a divorce. Like he had his cake and ate it too thing. Emotionaly, I am bruised. I feel bad for his wife, I feel bad about falling in love with him. He says that at first, as friends, he never expected such a strong bond to develop between us. We have soooo many things in common as well. He says that he now wants to be my friend and wants to make a decision about his life/marriage that way. I respect that he is making an effort to be adult enough to still want to re-honor his marriage vows, and see realisticly where his happiness is. I am hurt, angry, mostly at myself, and depressed. Do I take his calls?
2006-08-14 10:22:54 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have been where you are......tell him to return to his wife and see if it can be saved. If not then you will be glad to see him again. Is tough to love a married man, but you must not let yourself be used. You are a valuable person and deserve to be loved!
2006-08-14 10:28:15 · answer #1 · answered by doicu 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'd buy yourself some time first - tell him that this is a lot to process and you need some time to figure out how you really feel. It's not a lie - you really *will* need to figure out if you can be "just friends" with this guy, and not be consumed by thoughts of what you used to be and/or could have been.
I have a couple of previous lovers with whom I am still friends, I have one with whom I would love to continue being friends (though he's not expressing interest in that option right now), and I have a few whom I would rather never see again. Not even necessarily because I hate them, but because I simply would not be able to enjoy their company as "just friends". We didn't have enough in common to have a friends relationshp, which is why the romantic relationship was doomed.
2006-08-14 10:33:43 · answer #2 · answered by Katie S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He betrayed his own wife and took advantage of your friendship. Absolutely DO NOT accept his calls! He is an emotional user and cannot be trusted. Even if he had left his wife, he would have eventually treated you with the same disregard he did her. He has no honor, no dignity. Do not continue to let him rob you of yours. There is a GREAT man out there waiting for you, who shares your interests, wants ONLY YOU! Don't waste anymore of your precious time on this REJECT. I know it is painful, but you must move on. Remember that when one door closes, another one opens. And through that new door is a whole new world of wonderful possibilities. He's holding you back. Cut him loose.
2006-08-14 10:31:03 · answer #3 · answered by applegirl1976 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is married, there are dozens of reasons why you should not get involved with someone who has vowed for better or worse and let no person come between them....if either of you can't honor that then your situation is doomed from the beginning...don't do anything with him nor take his calls...allow this to work itself out..if he should choose to leave his wife...fine...make your move but don't add to an already bad situation...good luck.
2006-08-14 10:30:31 · answer #4 · answered by Goodspeed 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey Babe, You are what they call?? impressiable?? easy??? wanton? lustful?You have fallen for one of the tricks guys use to get all the free milk from the cow they can!!!get rid of this loser!!!better yet tell his wife and really fire things up!!nothing lower than a scumbag man that cheats on his wife double that if they have children!!what a role model huh???you would want him??? after 6 mo. he will do the same to you??your best bet is RUN AWAY!!now!this guy is a first rate liar!!not to be trusted!!all yu need is to get prego and he would be like smoke in the wind!!!betcha!!---and being a friend is another way of saying" I got a new biotch'"!!!
2006-08-14 10:34:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You feel bad because you have helped him decieve his wife while he was decieving you.Most married men use that very same line.He probably has no intention on leaving his wife.No you should not be friends with him because he has shown you what kind of person he is...trust that! Especially if you are in love with him to be friends with him is to accept being second fiddle.If he married her and cheated with you...why wouldn't he do the same to you.Women that allow themselves to help men decieve their wives often have a problem believing that he will do the same to you.They say actions speak louder than words he has not told you(by lying) and shown you by using you,and cheating on his wife.What more will it take??
2006-08-14 10:38:22 · answer #6 · answered by girlqueen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do yourself a big favor that you will proud of for the rest of your life. Do not take his calls unless he his willing to be a man and separate from his wife for you. If he doesn't... don't take it personal because he is the one that is exactly having his cake and eating it too. Speaking from experience... if you let this continue you will be the one that is heartbroken on holidays, on weekends, and on days when you need someone the most. Best of luck to you.
2006-08-14 10:29:54 · answer #7 · answered by Biloxi Beach 11 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you can never be friends after being intimate. It will never work. Don't take his calls, if you do take one, tell him it's over, completely over. Your only asking to have your heart broken over and over again each time you see or hear from him. Plus you have enough to feel guilty about, having an affair with a married man, don't add to it by trying to be friends with him.
2006-08-14 10:54:28 · answer #8 · answered by older&wiserforit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
BABYBYE. If you dont stand for something you will fall for anything. Why deprive yourself of your own man. Why not spend valetines day with your man and not someoneelses husband. Girl been their don that. He ain't gone leave his wife and if he does you will be fine in at first but after you get him the game is over. And see thats what you are playing and you don;t know. See forbidden fruit is good fruit but once you bite its over. Me i would never lower my standards for no man nor woman. You need to leave his *** alone Remember Kharma. What goes around comes around what goes up must come down. dont let the day come and you find that special one that belongs to YOU and here comes miss sweet young tender roni 7 years younger than you and bring around what went around.
2006-08-14 10:36:43 · answer #9 · answered by Luckys Charm 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand what you are going thru because i am going thru the same thing, but i had been with him for 5 months. Dont take his calls as hard as it is because if he really wanted to be with you he would have left his wife already. Things with his wife are not as bad as he might say they are because at the end he goes home to her. I know its hard but it should get easier and if he loves you he will look for you if his situation changes.
2006-08-14 10:32:57 · answer #10 · answered by wym34 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you REALLY want to spend time with a guy (as a friend or more romantically) whom you know will cheat...who would even consider leaving his significant other for another...who is in the process of causing two people pain...
If he'd do it to her sugar, he'd do it to you...how willing are you to be in his wifes shoes a little way down the road?
Danger Will Robinson! Danger!
2006-08-14 10:28:53 · answer #11 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋