Why do people call me "immature" when they don't even know me?

Question

Why would they say that?

I am 23 years old.

I have lived on my own since 18 and have had a full time job since I graduated high school.

I put myself thru college and landed an amazing job in accounting.

I have NEVER asked for money from anyone.

I have been continually employed since I was 15 years old.

I own a house that will be paid off next year.

I have two brand new cars paid off.

I have traveled all over the United States.

I have never done drugs, smoked or partied.

I never drink.

I have been with my husband for 5 years and he is the only sexual partner I have ever had.

I am a good friend and an even better sister, daughter and wife.

I ask questions about wanting to start a family with my husband and I get a bunch of responses about how I am too immature at 23 to be a mom.

How many 30 year olds have accomplished what I have???

I am sick of being judged by my age! I don't even act like I am in my early 20's!

Any advice?

Answer 1

wow, umm....speechless....

Answer 2

You sound like an adult to me. I also know many people in their 30's that don't have there lives as pulled together as you do. Your 23, that is young, but choosing the right time to start a family should be based on where you are in your life, not on your age. (Of course i might say something different if you were a teen) But i say its your decision, and you alone can look at your life and decide if its a good time to become a mother. Good luck with everything!!

Answer 3

Sounds like if you've accomplished this much, then no one has anything of the sort to say to you. Think about any actions or exact words that you might've said that could possibly give them that notion. You know, some people can formulate a complete thesis about a person, just from a few words. Just think about it. I can say the word d!ck, and people can assume I'm a pervert or a sex crazed maniac that acts as if he's 13 without hitting puberty. However, I am actually speaking of a detective.

I know I talked too much, but you get the point. Don't listen to those people. Until they can exceed your accomplishments, you should tell them to go to a hot place.

Answer 4

You can accomplish a ton and still be immature in some areas. But, I don't think that anyone has the right to tell you that you are too immature to be a mother, especially when you are married and have your life together. You shouldn't even be asking people about starting a family - keep it between you and your hubby.
If you both feel that you are ready to start a family then go for it and don't worry about what anyone else says or thinks. Good luck!

Answer 5

Dear WannaBeMom,

I don't know why people say that you're too immature to be at mom.

I'm 23 years old, married to my husband who's 40 years old and step mommy to his to daughters. His oldest daughter is only a few years younger than me, and a lot of people thought that I was 1. To immature to be the Pastors Wife, 2. To immature to be a step mother to a girl who's almost the same age as me, 3 To immature to be step mother to a 3 year old, etc, etc, etc.

Here's what matters. You from what you've said, ARE a very successful young woman/mommy/wife/daughter/friend. You prove that EVERYDAY by living your life, not neglecting your family or your responsibilities, and not running away from "life".

People will always talk-that's just human nature. They are not in your home, they are not paying your bills, they are not doing anything except talking (if you can understand what I mean).

Don't be discouraged, I personally believe it's wonderful that you and your husband desire to begin a family. My very first suggestion is to see your care provider as he/she/they are able to answer any questions you may have, offer suggestions, and help you and your husband to plan a course of action.

Be proud of who you are, be proud of what you have and will do and accomplish in life, and don't let what ppl say anger you. After all, I'm sure your husband and children adore you!

*hugs* Blessings To You & Yours.

Answer 6

There's got to be some other reason than your age, for people believing you to be immature. Perhaps your question about wanting to have a child, was worded in a way that gave the readers a poor impression?

Bottom line is, why are you worried about what total strangers think of you? You are right, they don't know you...all they know is what you type and whatever impression they take from that (and depending on the reader, it's likely to be skewed in many different ways).

Don't sweat it...you ask a question in a public forum, that millions of people can read, you have to expect negative as well as positive answers...to participate in online communities, one must have a relatively thick skin and not worry about what people think, who don't know you...

Answer 7

You sound like a person with a good head on your shoulders and I know some women that are mothers in their thirties and I would still consider immature only because their attitudes not because of their age. I would ask your husband to state the reasons beside your age that he thinks you can't raise a child and if he can't think of any, then he needs to grow up.

Answer 8

Stop complaining and get over it. If you act mature, people will see it. Some need more time with this than others, but the more you complain the more immature you seem regardless of who you are. Be yourself and also get over yourself. You always have room for improvement. A truely mature person will use criticism to make themselves a better person. Do it and grow.

Answer 9

Why do you ask others opinion about wanting to start a family? That's immature. If the time is right for you and your husband then do it. You don't need anyone's permission if you have accomplished all you say you have.

Answer 10

Teach a College Class :Immature 101
Write a Book : " The Successful Immature"
You sound like a very successful person! Sounds like YOU could give the rest of us some advice!

Answer 11

It more sounds like these people could be jealous of your accomplishments and they're trying to put you down. You know what you're capable of and what you have accomplished in your life, let them say what they want, just take it with a grain of salt.

Or, just directly ask them why they're saying that you're too immature and wait for their response. They might not even have one for you : )