Does being gay make you who you are? I ask this becasue of a response I read I know ya'll are tired of me .

Question

I feel like I'm in school again and I get to ask questions and get answers about stuff I don't know.

A black girl wrote and i quote"Being Gay does not make me who I am, but Being Black Does."

That opens the book for a lot of Questions.

Being Born a Black person and Being Born a Gay person are not the same or are they? My argument was always when I was born people would say look at that little black baby, when someone who is gay is born no one says look at that lil gay baby. Theres no way to establish that then. This is not the age old argument choice or born I think it's neither. What say you?

What exactly is Gay because many of you say it has nothing to do with who you choose to be in the dark with. So Minus the orientation what separates you from me. How does it give you the title of Gay vs. my title of Straight?

Don't we strive for the same things in life as far as Security, health Goals things of that nature

Awe TOMA calm down it's not I'm at your house asking you questions. It's coo thou you can be a grumby butt.

I don't consider being straight a part of my identity it's not even a thought, so thats a lil where the question comes from as well

Answer 1

Well, right now you actually are considering straight as being part of who you are.

And to me, being a lesbian is a part of who I am, but it doesn't make me....me. I am a student, a daughter, and aunt, a friend, a woman, a sister....I have soul, heart and spirit. All of these things are part of what adds up to make me myself.

You are male, black, straight...what else are you? There is so much more to all of us than our parts. When you put those parts together into a whole, then you get yourself.

Answer 2

I don't think being gay defines anyone as who they are. The things that make up who you are as a whole is everything. The color of your skin or weather you have all five fingers is how you came into this world. No one knows what a babies beliefs or purpose is going to be until they actually go through the process of life. That's why so many people don't know they are gay until later. Sexual orientation doesn't mature until after your adolescent years. But I could remember back when I was a littler girl having special feeling toward my mothers friends. Didn't mean I was going to act on it or was even at a level of attracted sexually. I have always held women in the up more regard and I've always been fascinated. I think as life goes on there are thing that people become proud of.. Like being gay, Straight, bi, trangender, Black, white, Christen, Cowboys Fan, a Biker, A dancer. See nothing separates us from each other, we all bleed, hurt, love, cry, and survive just like the next person. The labels are just how we all try to stamp our individuality.Society is the ones that make sure we are not all in the same group.

Answer 3

Even though I'm not gay, I have some friends that are and have actually talked to me about how their stereotyped. Really, to me it's a silly thing for people to be homophobes or racist/nationalist/stereotypical... what so ever.

But anyways, I don't think it makes you who you are. You have your own choices to make, your own things to ponder about, your own hobbies, your own likes and dislikes, and in this country, the right to choose if you want to be with women or men. It's like the saying "Just because you know my name, doesn't mean you know me." In this case, all you'd do is switch a few words around so you'd have "Just because you know I'm gay, doesn't mean you know me."

People will say stuff, like to me, "You're a filthy German Nazi!" But am I? Do you think that's a fair judgment? It's just another thing someone blindly made up out of hate towards some other people. Same goes with being homosexual. They'll say stuff about you, but does it make it true? Most of the time it won't.

People always make judgments without realizing it, hell, even I do! Thing is though, is that just because I'm German doesn't mean that I'm exactly like all the others, in fact I've been told I should be Asian a few times x.x....but the thing is, is that if being gay decides who you are, then being of any race, nationality, or religion would decide who you are, and the last time I checked, we have the choice to be who and what we want to be. Just because one man is in a wheel chair doesn't mean that he's lazy/old/whatever, that guy has a personality of his own that can't just be defined by his wheel chair.

All in all, I'm sorry my answer probably repeated itself and was so long, but the short answer would be "NO!".

Answer 4

Being gay is a big part of who I am, and YES I WAS BORN GAY, IT IS NOT A "CHOICE" . It isn't something "private that belongs in the bedroom," either. There is much more to a gay relationship than just sex, so it clearly belongs in other areas beyond the bedroom! And YES - blacks and gays share in common the struggle and the fight for rights and equality. It always disappoints me to see blacks hating on gays or vice versa. If a gay black person claims that being BLACK is the part that gives her an identity, well that's HER opinion. OPINIONS VARY on that because there's no right or wrong. PS - "TOMA" Where's your brain? Gays are NOT asking for "special rights" as you had said. Gays, dear boy, want EQUAL rights that YOU heterosexuals already have. Sorry you're "tired of" hearing about us, but you already get treated fairly and don't know what it's like to fight for your rights, so shut up and be glad. As far as "winky and kitty" - LOTS OF GIRLS TONGUE THE KITTIES AND LOTS OF WINKIES FIT WELL IN MENS BUNS!!!

Answer 5

I really like your question. I think the whole being gay attitude stems from being in the minority. In essence there is nothing the differentiates you from a gay individual. You're very much right. We do all strive for the same things - happiness and success in what we do.

The only difference is who we're attracted to. Beyond that, we're the same. There are many who construe this into some warped and disguised version of the truth, but in the end, gays and straight are all people and that is the overarching theme upon which we must connect.

In short, beyond orientation, we are all the same. Orientation is an inner trait not manifested in any outward medium. People who argue differently, in my opinion, are failing to grasp the basics of humanity and its innate diversity.

Answer 6

I think there is a lot of variance even in the basic answer you would get to the unstated core question. I have African American friends who would say that being gay defines them more than being African American does.

Now I understand the difference as you see it -- had I made different decisions I could have "hidden" what I was, and no one would ever have seen anything but a white boi. That is NOT true for an African American.

The issues are, I freely admit, different.

If I may be so bold. African American infants are unlikely to be rejected by their parents for being ... African American. Would you agree? What percentage do you think are rejected for being gay of those that are gay? What percentage of European Americans are rejected for being gay, do you think?

What binds African Americans together is the same thing that binds any other racial or ethnic minority together -- being rejected by the majority. That is why the "black" identity is so strong for the young woman.

It is no different for gays and lesbians, bisexuals and transgendered persons. What binds this community together is rejection by the majority.

I would think that African American gay young people who are NOT rejected by their families for being gay would feel that the influence of being "black" was much more profound -- on the other hand, at least from the sample I have in my own friendship group -- when they ARE rejected because they are gay feel much more bonded to and much more effected by their own homosexuality than by their race.

In answer to your final question, of course we strive for the same things, but is it not also true that African American and European Americans strive for the same things? I do not think that one thing that you listed or could list are not strived for by both -- and regardless of their sexual orientation -- so it is, I suspect, a false comparison.

And no, I'm not sick of hearing from you.

Kindest regards,

Reynolds
http://www.rebuff.org
[e-mail]

PS And may I note, Spida Kaf makes my point for me, without meaning to -- pretty well, don't you think?

God bless you too Spida -- oh, I doubt you want inclusive Christians who believe in science blessing you -- sorry.

Answer 7

i don't feel like being gay makes me who i am. i'm a lot of other stuff... i'm a painter, i'm a friend, i try to be funny, i like animals, i'm from a small town. i think you're right about this bringing up a lot of questions, the difference between race and sexual orientation. there was a man who was one of the original freedom riders who is gay. (he wasn't out at the time of the freedom rides) he said that the main thing blocking the movement for gay rights is the idea that you are not born that way. i think this is true, and i think that there is one important detail in this issue: that "race is a social construct", as my girlfriend says. many thinkers believe that race doesn't exist, that it's a myth we perpetuate... usually for the sake of holding power over someone else. as far as being gay and what it means to me... hey, i love my girlfriend. and i love my life with her. and i hope everyone else gets the right to love their lives, too.

Answer 8

This is a great question. Some people disagree, but I consider being gay as part of my identity, just as I'm sure many racial minorities, people from foreign countries, or religious people consider that to be part of their identity.

If I wasn't gay, I wouldn't be the same person I am today. That sounds like a no-brainer, but think about it: because of being gay, I did have to overcome some adversities (especially with my family). Also, I choose my friends based on how they perceive my gay lifestyle.

Some gay people do not consider it as part of their identity, but that's just fine, although I do not understand it.

This reminds me of people who complain about minority groups on universities and such and ask why they don't have a straight white man's group or something like that. I can't speak for everyone, but I'm sure that although straight people consider themselves straight, they don't consider their heterosexuality as part of their identity. Same with many men and many white people. That's my 12 cents.

Answer 9

I wrote this to a friend today, in response to a survey that's gone all over the web:

"I am chilled rose wine and avocado sandwiches at a NASCAR race.
I am red state culture tinged with blue and blue state politics tinged with red...."

There's a lot more to me than my bisexuality. At the same time, it is part of me. It decided paths for me, it led me to love and friendships. Certainly, it formed me. But so did being Southern, moving between social classes, being high-IQ learning-disabled, being short, being female, etc.

It's a thing, like any other.

Answer 10

Haha, I try this generally.:) yet then I additionally ask questions pertaining not at all to LGBT contained in the LGBT section. i assume that makes me a hypocrite. Haha, oops! Haha, sorry! I would desire to in all probability artwork on no longer being so hypocritical :). In RL nevertheless, i'm no longer this sort of hypocrite, I promise :D MP: My final bathe replaced into this morning, I bathe daily. If i do no longer, I basically sense grimy...:P...and not in a solid way, haha. :) 3 days IS an undesirable long term to circulate without showering, yet as long as you do no longer stink...haha. :) i could in all probability attempt to bathe the next day nevertheless. :D