My husband won’t let me get pregnant until next May. I am upset.?

Question

We have been together for 4.5 years.

I really want to have a baby now, but we compromised to wait another 8.5 months to start trying.

I was trying to do fun things to prepare for a pregnancy: picking out a few baby things, I bought a few baby books, etc.

The problem now is that I feel sick to my stomach and want to cry when I think about waiting another 8.5 months to even start trying.

I will go off the pill when my supply runs out in 5 months and I am upset it will be at least another year before I am pregnant.

It sounds so crazy, but I feel like I have already waited so long to have a baby with the man I love more than anything.

8.5 months just feels like forever.

I don’t want to think about babies, getting pregnant or anything baby related anymore because it makes me too upset.

I try to distract myself with hobbies, my dog, spending time with my husband and working, but I am still upset.

How do I stop feeling like I do?

I

I talked to him about many times. He says he is sorry, but he wants to wait until then.

I don't think there is anyway he will change his mind. And I won't go behind his back and get pregnant.

Answer 1

Honey going behind his back to get pregnant will only cause more problems. Be thankful for one thing. If he is not ready to be a father than at least he has told you. Many men just won't say anything about it they will just say no I don't want to.

Since you didn't say why he wants to wait longer, I can only assume in his mind the reasons are valid. Trouble is these feelings you are having probably won't go away. When a women wants children then those feelings don't subside.

Consider this, in 5 months your supply runs out. That doesn't mean you have to wait longer to get pregnant. I have known women who the minute they stopped taking the pill they got pregnant and I know others who it took longer. So the thought I had ask your husband if you can begin to try when your supply of the pill runs out. IT may take 3 to 4 months at which time his 8 and half months will go by.

Also remember this birth control is just that control not prevention. You can, and it happened to my sister, get pregnant while on the pill and she had been on the pill for over 2 years.

Answer 2

Just relax. If you start stressing over wanting to be pregnant before you even start then you will have a hell of a time actually getting pregnant when you do try because of all the stress you have created.

I would explain to your husband that you're willing to wait these next 8 months, but that you are going to go off the pill and use condoms until then. That way, when those 8 months are up, you should be back cycling like usual and have a better time getting pregnant.

I would also take these next 8 months to go ahead and plan for baby. Go ahead and save up for the best baby stuff you can, store it up and enjoy this time where you dreamed of you new little addition.

In the long run youre going to find that your husbands reasonings for waiting that extra 8 months are actually for the best. Iam sure he has some sort of financial or life goal he needs to meet before he gets to the point of having baby.

It seems forever, but its really not, and i promise you that those 9 months your carrying the baby, its jsut as real as though it were already born.

So calm down, enjoy your husband and your life, and spend this time becoming a stronger closer couple so you can be the best parents you can be.

Answer 3

Talk to your husband and tell him how strongly you feel about this. Ask him what will change if you wait 8 months? Figure out what he has in mind...what his reasoning, then convince him he's wrong, and that you are ready now for this. Tell him how this is ruining this for you...tell him all of what you told us. It may do no good, but it could help. Even 4 months wouldn't be so bad of a wait.... maybe you can convince him. Don't give up. Nagging is a woman's best friend sometimes. lol ;) Also, don't forget to mention that you are more likely to become pregnant with a baby BOY in the summer than any other time of the year. So, if he wants a son, you guys better get busy RIGHT NOW!!!

Answer 4

Why is he saying to wait another 8.5 months? Does he have a specific reason for that?

You should look up some statistics on the www and show them to him. When many women come off the pill, since they're full of hormones and can really mess with your body, sometimes it takes a while to conceive. So, if you start TRYING next May, you might not even get pregnant until the following May. Show your husband the statistics that say it can take a while, so maybe you guys can start trying now. Who knows...maybe it'll take 6 months to conceive (which is pretty close to May) or maybe it'll take only one cycle (which would make you happy.) :)

Answer 5

Believe me, it is not so bad waiting to have a baby. My husband and I have made those promises 10 years ago and I am glad we took our time. When we talked about having our first child, we agreed to wait until we were both financially and emotionally stable. What I mean by that is we wanted to get a bigger house, another vehicle (a van), good insurance, out of debt, extra money in our savings, a good doctor and have me stay at home with our baby. It was all worth the wait and we are as happy as we can be, from the birth of our daughter to today. Everything was stress free, no money worries, we have 3 well behaved children and we spend a lot of family time together.

I am sure you both made the agreement to wait for similar reasons and that is good. Just keep your promise to your husband and enjoy all of your 'alone time' as a couple. Once you become parents, your 'alone time' will become scarce. lol. Continue to smile, continue to to do things with your husband and prepare on becoming a mommy, mentally and physically.

Answer 6

RE:
My husband won’t let me get pregnant until next May. I am upset.?
We have been together for 4.5 years.

I really want to have a baby now, but we compromised to wait another 8.5 months to start trying.

I was trying to do fun things to prepare for a pregnancy: picking out a few baby things, I bought a few baby books, etc.

The problem now is that I feel sick...

Answer 7

well marriage is about compromise..you want a baby now and he wants to start trying 9 months from now. You need to tell him that it's unfair to make you wait but unfair to him to do it right now. A baby is a big step and changes a lot. Maybe he is scared. I know it's hard to wait when you want kids so bad (been there done that my kids will 4.5 years apart and I wanted another one when my son was 2) But once it finally happens you can appreciate that time more (I think). Try to be patient and maybe you can make a compromise with him instead of 9 months maybe 4 or 5 months then trying. It could take that long for you to get pregnant anyways..you never know.

Answer 8

Is this the wife of the man who wrote saying that he wanted to wait to try and have a baby until the house was paid off? I read something about it a little earlier today. I need to know if he gave you a reason for waiting (i.e. financially unstable as of right now, not ready for the new arrival as of yet, some reason whatsoever as to wait). I know it took me 4 years to conceive my son (but only a week and a half to conceive the child I'm with right now). If he insists on waiting, and you love him, you may just have to wait it out until he's ready. It's not worth bringing a child into the world when your support and better half isn't ready to accept it right now. Try to talk out your feelings, and reassure him that you won't be pregnant tomorrow (well, I guess you could be, but there's a slim chance). The baby won't be here tomorrow. Once you've conceived you've got 9 months to prepare. Let me know how it goes. Good luck to you!

Answer 9

How would you feel if you got pregnant before he was ready and he left?? You are VERY lucky in that your husband is being honest with you instead of just letting you get pregnant and then freaking out and leaving. I know how you feel-it seems like forever and maybe even like if you don't do it NOW it will never happen right? Trust me it will. AND you will have a happier husband if you wait until he's ready.

Answer 10

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Enjoying the feeling of motherhood and raising a family would surely be a couple’s dream. Some get it naturally, while for some others things don’t seem to work as they desire. These reasons which stop a women from conceiving can be due to either physical reasons or truly physiological.