Why Does It Have To Hurt So Much...?

Question

to lose someone you love? In a few days it should have been Sean's 32 birthday, instead in three weeks it will be the second anniversary of his death...

No one I know, will believe I loved him, since they do not believe you can love someone of the same gender... Which only adds to the pain I feel.

Answer 1

I am so sorry for your loss, I cannot imagine the pain you must be going though. Life gets easier, though you will never forget the love you had for him. You just have to give it time, time heals all wounds, but it never erases them completely. :-)

My Favourite Quote: "Love is pure, it transcends gender" Or something like that, been a while since I heard it! ;-)

Answer 2

I'm sorry for your loss. I have lost many friends and a partner of 12 years, so I know the emotions you are going through. There are some very good non-profits that specialize in grief counselling, and they would not be judgemental about your feelings. Please see if you can find one locally.

The pain we feel when someone leaves us also serves to remind us of them, and by doing so really keeps them alive and a part of our lives. The first few months as we adjust our lives to be without their physical presence is in a way helpful. As we move through the stages of grief, we should arrive at a point where we hold on to those pleasurable feelings about the person, without the intense pain.

If after two years you have not been able to get to that point on your own, you certainly need some counselling.

Answer 3

Never mind Jason, I know it sounds naff but time is a great healer, millions of people of all sexual persuasions learn to live with loss you will too, piece by piece, eventually. In illustration is the grief you feel now as acute as when he first died, probably not. The process of recovery has started already see?. Why should it be so hard for people to understand that you loved someone of the same gender? those same people would most likely recognise grief for a lost dog, just shows the mentality. Good luck mate.

Answer 4

Hi Jason. I'm sorry to hear you're so sad. I didn't know Sean. But it's good to know that in his short life, he found someone to love him.

We love people of our same sex all the time. I have female friends I would die for. So why would anyone not understand your grief?

I believe we go on, after we die. I believe that we have an immortal soul. Talk to Sean. As if he were right there with you. He just might hear you.

Answer 5

I'm a heterosexual female, and I believe you when you say you loved him ... I think love comes in all ways and shapes and forms and that those people who don't get that don't understand the nature of love.

It is very hard losing someone you love, but it gets easier. In time you will be able to move on, and perhaps meet someone else - I think part of you will always regret that you couldn't give your love to Sean because he died, but there are others out there ... and wherever he is now, he surely will understand.

I hope this helps. Take care.

Answer 6

Well i guess it hurts because it's a painful time in your life i mean no-one ever said love was easy so i guess as the old saying goes with time you will heal, his death is still fresh on your mind you should try remembering the good times and know that i'm sure he would not want you to be in so much pain, but in true fact love hurts

Answer 7

I'm so very sorry for your loss of Sean. I'm sure that Sean was a very special person. He'd have to be, because you loved him.

Don't worry about what anyone else thinks. You know that you loved Sean and I'm sure that Sean knew (and still knows) that you love him as well.

People put such a high price of giving their opinions on things that should be no one's business, but your own and that of your chosen partner. For the life of me, I don't understand why people are so concerned with what goes on behind closed doors. No one worries about what my husband and I do behind closed doors (because we are a heterosexual couple), but yet they seem to always talk about my cousin and his partner. I always make sure that I defend my cousin and his partner and then pose the question of why is it anyone's business. As long as two people are consenting adults, it should not matter to anyone. Love is love and should be accepted by everyone. People usually back off from me when I get on my soap box about this.

I'll say a prayer for both yourself and Sean.

Bright Blessings (I'm Wiccan and this is a Wiccan blessing).

Answer 8

To love is to eventually hurt.

To hurt is to have loved.

This will be a difficult time of the year for you for a very long time, and that's okay. It means that you and Sean made some memories together. I know you're better off for having known and loved him, even if you had to lose him so early. I know he didn't want to leave.

*hug*

Answer 9

Love arises from the fact that you knew him. If you have not known him like you do not know me, you would not have love him and me. Our eyes deceived our feeling which arises from our eye contact with him. You therefore should know now that with him gone, there is nothing and no one there to feel for and love, just the memory. Learning to let go of the past will make the pain less less painful. Yet you will see and feel another person in your life again.
Try seeing me and feel. Not possible right. So there won't be feeling of love between us and I will one day die without you feeling pain and loss.
We well friend.

Answer 10

It always hurts to lose someone you loved. I'm sorry to hear you had to go through it. And to have to deal with people's ignorance about love makes it that much worse for you. Of course you can love someone of the same gender - as if love even knows the difference.