Should I tell on my friend for having sex with Kyle or leave it be?

Question

a few months back she had to give birth to her baby and she wont tell her parents who the dad is. i happen to know who the father is b/c she told me who she was having sex with.

i think its important for her parents to know but it would be a huge betrayal on the friendship.

should i tell or just pretend i dont know anything.

Answer 1

hi,
if u think that u r her good friend then i will suggest that u should reveal everything about ur friend's pregnancy to her parents.as they have the right to about all these things.ur friend may become angry with u in the first instance but latter she will understand what u have done for her and then she will definitely thank full to u.and believe me this is not betrayal.u r doing something very good for her.
bye.
sukanya.

Answer 2

Sweetie i know its important that these things should be known for all the people involved. Sometimes its hard to ascertain what is the right thing to do. The best advice that I'm sure some people have told you is to talk to your friend and try to get her to see things your way. It may be hard to keep this secret quiet but in all reality its not your decision to make. If it was a situation that if not telling someone, Than a certain person could get hurt or into serious trouble than i would tell, but if not is it really worth jeopardizing a friendship over? Work out the pros and cons of telling her parents and decide your self. Good luck and I'm sure what ever you do will be right.

Answer 3

Encourage your friend to tell the truth. It is important that this father acknowledge his child and pay child support (when he is able - I'm assuming he's too young to do much). Most of all, he needs to have a relationship with his baby. She's probably too scared to tell or she doesn't want the dad involved. Don't tattle - just encourage her to do what's right. I don't know her situation - maybe she is doing what's best for her baby. In the end, it's her decision. Maybe someday the father will decide he wants a part in his baby's life and will come forward anyway.

Your friend has been through a lot. Be supportive. You sound like a good friend who only wants the best for her.

The guilt for her bad decision does not belong on your shoulders. She will make the right choice eventually.. if only for her baby's sake.

Answer 4

No you shouldn't tell her parents. What you should do is talk to her about it and get her to tell her parents. They obviously know that she was having sex, so why can't she tell them who the father is. Is he a dirtbag? I'm sure that her parents don't want to support the baby and they probably want to know who he is so that he can start taking responsibility. Maybe they feel that it is important for the baby to have a father in it's life or maybe that the father has a right to know. There are plenty of reasons to fess up about the dad. Be sympathetic with her, but explain to her why you feel it is important that this be brought out in the open.

Answer 5

The people answerring this for you are being a little harsh. You might feel that its not your place to tell so I suggest that you talk to your friend about why you feel its important to tell her parents who the father is. We don't really need another fatherless child growing up. Does the guy even know he has a kid? I think you are totally right in feeling concerned about this information being kept a secret. She just doesn't want to be embarrassed. These kind of secrets will only get more painful as time passes. How old is your friend?

Answer 6

Charmed, you are being a good friend and just because people have different opinions about what you should do you don't have to listen to them follow your heart. it could be a lot of reasons why you should or should not tell her parents for example: you should tell if she was raped, a family member got her pregnant, a teacher, an older man. its always hard in a situation like this but I would talk to my friend and tell her that she needs to talk to her parents about the father of the baby what if he has a disease or some kind of other condition that could put the babies healthy in danger. if she doesn't want to tell them still them tell her that you are going to talk to the father of the baby to see if he will be honest with her parents either way they need to know.

Answer 7

That depends, ask yourself why won't she tell her parents, and weigh that on a scale. The baby needs the fathers child support and that is one of the major reasons why they should know but is the other reason for not telling is really strong, then talk to her and tell her the importance of the father providing for this child. To be honest, sooner or later they will find out, so think about it.
Will telling this loose your friendship or can it wait.

Answer 8

Dear Charmed,

You cannot be sure that this was the only person with whom you had sex. In addition, this seems to me to be a matter between her parents and herself. However, if she wants support for the baby and her parents refuse to support her, then she'll have to get support from the father and will have to reveal it at that point.

I think...support your friend in any way she needs short of lying to her parents if she wants you to tell them something else, and stay out of it otherwise by refusing to reveal the direct name of the individual, as you cannot be sure.

-j.

Answer 9

It is not your place to tell the parents. I agree that it is important that they know, but it really is not your place to tell them.

I hope she is not keeping the birth of the baby a secret from the father as well.

Answer 10

her parents do have a right to know, but it should be your friend who tells them and not you. Its her responsibility, if you tell, you might end up losing a friend, its better to just stay out of other people's family affairs. Give her your thoughts on why you think her parents should know, but respect her wishes.