I dont get it , I dont believe in sex before marriage,but?

Question

it seems as though every other chick out there talks about this sexual compatibility and junk. If you believe that sex is good then why cant you trust you will have great sex with you marriage partner!?
What the devil is going on in the heads of women and men today? Honestly people,can any of you think of a reason why sex AFTER marriage is benefitial!!!!!!
Or are you guys just sex mongers!?

Answer 1

Myself, I am a married man. As I see things now I can list a few beneficial points to waiting for marriage.

Of course the only reason I have these opinions is because I didn't wait. Prior to my wife I had lived with 3 women(including my wife) and had slept with between 50 and 60 women. I had figured that I would have fun while single, then settle down when I had gotten married.

While I do not regret my pre-marital sex, I do however notice how it affects my wife. I now understand how "special" marriage is to a woman (not saying it isn't special to me, just in different ways).

After we returned home from our wedding I could sense the dissapointment. She had inflated her own sense of what everything should be like and it wasn't. We had lived with each other for 2 years prior to getting married, so when we walked through our door for the first time as man and wife it was exactly like it was when we were b/f & g/f. The first time walking through the door together was already passed years ago. The same for first time doing laundry, cooking, cleaning, shopping together... the firsts had already passed.

Same with the sex.. it was good, but heck we had already done it hundreds of times before.

For me, as a male, I don't feel like I have been missing anything like my wife is, but what really hurst me is that because of the way I lived my life, I don't get to see the woman I love as blissful and complete as she always dreamed. That is what makes me sad.

Answer 2

When I was a kid, I couldn't find any virgin girls. They had all screwed around at the age of 13-14. The first nerdy half decent girl that I trusted to be a virgin I gave it up. We were 16, turned out later she wasn't. Oops.

Anyway, the only reason a man would wait is for the potentiality of being with someone that waited. However it's so rare, why bother? The only benefit? Safety from STDs. The pill is too effective to worry about pregnacy anymore, and all smart couples are on it.

Anyway, I've been with enough partners that I absolutetly adored, thought were the hotest people in the world, etc, and found out that they completely sucked in bed. At first I thought it was just hype, and in time I learned there's a huge difference between people that are good and bad.

So, when I have a kid someday, I'm goign to tell her or him that they need to make their own choices - as long as I don't go to jail or they get sick, pregnate, or dead; they can pretty much come up with their own decisions. Sex after marriage is an outdated moral which I will not be passing on the generations.

ty

Answer 3

Yeah. I totally agree with u, and I'm following in ur footsteps. I can think of many reasons to wait. First, it is a gift, u NEVER get ur first time back, and it never feels the same after(so I've heard). There are many who tell me they'd wished they'd waited...and there are some who actually do wait after they've lost it. I think u can trust ur partner more. I mean, with all these temptations out there, especially for men, it's something awesome when he says"I'll wait for u, and no girl will distract me." I've been dating my guy for five years, and at first, he tried to convince me to loose it, but after a little while, he came to respect my choice, and respect me in the process for waiting. U have no other comparisons. There is no"I've had better." Besides, are all these others gonna break up just cuz they're not compatible in bed? People are turned on different ways; so being experienced isn't always a guarentee for good sex. If it was, there would be more women experiencing orgasms. Besides, it's always better when u and ur partner know each other, and love each other, and solidify that commitment with a wedding ring. I've heard this too. A girls first time usually isn't great, but it does get better, and y not practice with the same guy? Plus, wouldn't it be kinda magical if u can tell ur kids u lost it with their dad? That's one hell of a way to lay down some morals and values. The ability to wait is a true test of character. I think. Keep strong, don't waver, u'll be glad u didn't.

Answer 4

You really need to have sex before marriage. If you get married & never had sex & it wasn't good there would be a lot of hostily in the marriage. Most people won't admit it, but sex is one cause of devorce. If your not sexualy happy with your spouse then the maraiage isn't happy.

Answer 5

typical question of any virgin freak with the mentallity to be abused by her partner and then get dumped .....if u don't wanna have sex with ur long-term boyfriend by now u should brake up with him because there'z a point u can ask him to wait a little longer but is unhealthy for the dood to be like that when he really feels to do it with u ...so don't blame him if he start to behave weird with u cuz u r undecised and men don't want to have a girl like that THEY SUCK.....

if u don't want sex after marriage just ask ur boyfriend to show up only in the wedding....otherwise stay lonely the rest of ur virgin life :)

Answer 6

The reason sex before marriage is good is for experience. Practice makes perfect. You can learn lots of things that you wouldn't have been able to with only one partner.

but good luck to you on finding someone else who feels the same way as you. But it seems like the only kind of people who say they wait til marrage can't get it to begin with

Answer 7

Sex is overrated anyway. But you're right : If you believe in the institution of marriage you shouldn't have pre-marital sex. Marriage is a life-long journey of discovery together; why shouldn't discovering the joys of sex be one of those shared discoveries ?

Answer 8

Good sex is very important. But the key is to communicate. Once you and your boyfriend can speak about sex, when you decide to have it (after marriage ofcourse), it will be better because you know you can SPEAK about it.

Answer 9

waiting was my goal but then it just happened when i was 18 with this guy who im actually glad it happened with cuz we'll always havethat special bond even if we arent together, i didnt plan on it but it happened, i dont regret it.....that doesnt mean now that im married that sex is bad or ruined its even better now but i'll always be thankful to look back and remember my first love and the passion we shared.

its great to wait, im proud of the ones who do it, i planned on being one of them but sometimes things happen in life that u cant explain.

Answer 10

more then half of all marriage ends in DIVORCE....think about that for a second...Do you think people really care that much about marriage anymore....If people get married and try to act all self righteous before they get married then let em...but no body is kidding themselves anymore...Marriage is a joke...so why not have fun before you get married instead of waiting..I mean your husband could turn out to be something you didn't really want...and then what....DIVORCE...