Ok, I was with a man for 6 years, I got pregnant & while I was pregnant he was having an on going affair. I found out contacted the girl & she told me she hadn't talked to him in 6 months that she moved to cali & was pregnant but had an abortion. Well last week he puposed 2 me & I said yes because it's been a year since this has happened & we've been taking it slow well, yesterday while we setting the date he proceeded to tell me that he had somethin important to say he fessed up 2 everything he told me she was pregnant and then he said she had the baby 3 weeks ago WHAT! he said that he didn't want nothin 2 do with her & hadn't talk 2 her in 7 months & he was goin 2 sign away his rights but then I find out that ever since last week when he found out about the baby he went & seen her & has been callin her everyday from work he told me she said I would like to be together but he said he wanted 2 b with me & she was fine with that (I don't believe that) What should I do
2006-08-14 08:17:58 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Ok well when he seen the baby the first thing out of her mouth was I want us to be together after he told her to have an abortion & she said she did. So she had a baby thinkin it would keep him with her. All I know is they both lied to me & she knew about me the whole time at one point she told him that you can be with her & have me too WTF I don't think I'll ever trust him & she is so young dumb & wrapped around his D**K that I think she would lie for him to me if he was seein her again Yeah I don't think I can live my life like this.
2006-08-14 08:43:18 · update #1
ok read what you wrote: you've been with him for 6 years but he's been having an ongoing affair...what do U tihnk you should do? sweety i tihnk you're in denial because you know what you have to do, i know it's sad cause 6 years is a lot, i've gone throuh the same thing, break up...stop the cycle now! you're going to have kids! why would you want to marry someone like that? nah man, divorce fees go up every day, save yourself the money and the pain...it takes a real man to be faithful to his woman...always remember that...any man can say they've been unfaithful, but how many can truly say they are faithful...that's a real man
2006-08-14 08:24:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Deceit is a mess to clean up isn't it. Just think, you walked into this with your eyes wide open.
Worst case scenario: You go ahead with the engagement and try to keep those two apart, not knowing which of them has been more dishonest.
Next to worst case scenario: You blame him, continue to listen to what she tells you is "actually" going on.
Almost as bad scenario: You stay in the shadow of their relationship trying to referee who he is "more" in love with.
1st lie: A man cannot dismiss parental rights and avoid child support. So, if you think his hismissing parental rights means they will no longer have contact (?) You would be incorrect.
2nd lie: She told you she had an abortion and that they had no seen one another in quite a while. That is obvisously an untruth since she has recently had the baby - unless a baby was aborted and they continued to see one another and this is the second child.
3rd lie: That he loves you. If he is considering taking your relationship to another level and he had not already been more forthcoming with the fact that she was pregnant from month 1-9, then he will only confront when he has no alternative.
I'd let this duo cleave to one another and leave them both alone. You can't have a relationship without trust.
2006-08-14 15:30:47 · answer #2 · answered by gravelgertiesgems 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave the loser. Too bad your connected to him with a baby. Once a cheater, always a cheater. He is lying to you right now, do you think he will stop when you get married? The answer is NO.
2006-08-14 15:25:12 · answer #3 · answered by Xena 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get Out Now and leave him. Let him have her, and get child support for your child. If he has been lying to you this whole time, he will not stop, and he will keep on seeing her behind your back. you are not to far into this to stop it before it gets harder. It is easier to leave now than it would ge to get a divorce later when he is with her again, or with someone else... ONCE A CHEATER ALWAYS A CHEATER
2006-08-14 15:24:52 · answer #4 · answered by Just Me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, he told you...so you have to give him something for that. It take a big man to admit infidelities. Now, for the kid, as much as you want to detach (from a mans point), it is hard knowing there is a child out there that you created. I think you should stay with him. Tell him he needs to be open to whatever activities he has with her. And Encourage him to be in that childs life. Every child needs to know their father.
BTW, my daughter does not know who her real father is. She thinks I am her father. I kinda like it that way, but I know the real father has to think about her from time to time.
2006-08-14 15:24:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you marry this guy ? You will deal with things like this for the rest of your life.
2006-08-14 15:21:59 · answer #6 · answered by JustMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
leave this jerk. try to find a normal guy. once a cheater, always a cheater and if you marry him will be as if you agree with such a behavior!
2006-08-14 15:23:29 · answer #7 · answered by ♫Pavic♫ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
leave this loser, if he cheated & lied, he'll continue to do so. you are going to raise this child alone no matter what
2006-08-14 15:22:08 · answer #8 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋