I want a baby?

Question

I am 19 years old and im most positive i am ready for a baby. Ive thought about it for months now. I even got the approval from my boyfriends mother. Ive been with my boyfriend for a year and we live together. Hes a hard worker and has his head on right. He keeps telling me were not ready for a baby and thats it. He wont say anything else. But i am ready. I feel like its the next step. My boyfriend is 25 years old. I feel like this will help us grow. But i know im ready. The question is, How do i make him ready? I hope i can get some good advice!! thanks

Answer 1

Wait for him, a baby is something you should both completely want.

Answer 2

Honey, you can't make any guy ready for something that he says he is not ready for.

What if the tables were turned and HE wanted the baby and you did not. Would you just give him a child anyway and change your life forever when you weren't ready for it?

If you are so ready for a child and you are so happy with your boyfriend, why don't you two get married, settle down, start a life together and then have a child?

Your boyfriend will resent you if you have a child when he is not ready for it. I can almost guarantee it. It's as if you wanted to get married and he did not - why would you want to marry someone that is not ready to marry you? Same thing here - why would you want to make a child with someone that is not ready to have one?

Also, a child WILL NOT help the two of you grow. That is the very last reason in the world to have a child. You don't have a child to help a relationship. It never works out that way and in the end, the child suffers.

Do you work? Can you afford the diapers, formula, child care, clothes, food, car seats, cribs, etc? Are you looking to just depend on your 25 yo boyfriend for everything? will you work after you have a baby? What about your future? What about marriage? That isn't important to you?

Seriously, if you are ready for a child (and by the way, it takes more than "months" to decide if you ready for a baby), but if you're ready for a child then you will be ready in 2 years. Wait and see if your boyfriend is still around in 2 years and if he's ready for a baby then - then go for it.

Answer 3

I had my son when I was 18 (2 months away from turning 19). I've never regretted having him, but 8 years later I have a second child who is 18 months old and can't believe the difference. I was always extremely mature for my age and did fine with my first son. I just feel that I am a better mother now that I'm older and have experienced more life lessons. A year is such a short amount of time. I know it seems like forever sometimes, and love can be such an overpowering emotion. I married my 8 yr old's father a year after he was born (we had been together a yr when I got pregnant). He wasn't ready for children and voiced that opinion. We divorced when my son was 3 and I cannot even begin to explain the damaging effects that my son works through everyday because I subjected him to being raised by a man who was not ready for children. His father is great now, but that has only come with time. Babies are so time consuming, stressful, require patience, cause lack of sleep, and yes are the most wonderful things in the world. Listen to him...if he's telling you he's not ready, than save your baby some heartache and wait to bring them into the world when there will be two parents to welcome him and share the load. There's no way to make him ready, and if you get pregnant when he's saying not too, you may lose a someone who may make the greatest father ten years down the road. Please don't waltze into having a baby and think that it is easy financially or emotionally. Wait a year and take a look at your finances...do you have an extra $8,000 plus a year to cover the expenses (and that's if you stay home with the baby)? It's not fair to bring a child into this world if you can't support it, it's not someone elses job to pay for your responsibilities. I'm not trying to be harsh. I'm trying to give you an inside view to what young motherhood is like. If you really step outside of yourself and view all of these factors, are you ready? but most importantly is your baby ready? are you in a position to give your child a loving home environment? and most importantly, are you ready to raise your child alone if he isn't ready to be a father? Love your future child enough to slowly filter through all the issues.

Answer 4

At 19, what have you done for yourself? What is the rush? If it feels right to you now, why wouldn't it feel right in a few more years? When you have a baby, you are forever their mother, even when they grow up, it's nothing to rush into. And if you can't take the time to marry this boyfriend, I don't think you should be thinking about being a mother. He's right, your'e not ready.

You will never be 19 again, so why don't you take some classes, see more of the world while you're still young. You will be a better mother the more well rounded in life you are. Give your future children the gift of having a mother who knows who she is instead of someone who will wonder what her life would have been like if she had waited....just a couple of years.

Answer 5

The first thing is that having a baby doesnt make you closer. It could make things worse. At 19, you have plenty of time to have a baby. Plus, you have only been together a year... You barely know this guy. Give ANYONE a two year test period before you consider making a lifetime commitment. In that time U gonna find out what makes them tick. Sounds like he's a great guy but dont rush it.You are too young to put all of your faith in this one guy that may change his mind because of the pressure of you and his mother planning to trap him before he's ready. you dont want drama, you want commitment. work on you.. Are you in college? Are you prepared to have a child? Job security? Where do you stay now, with his mom? do u drive and have a car where its not the responsibility of someone else to get you there? Can you take care of this baby on your own if he chooses not to help? You need to get your head on straight first ma. Life is a struggle right now is your time to shine. Go on a cruise, see the world, so when you do have the kids, you can remember when you didnt. God bless when it does happen for you!!!

Answer 6

You can't MAKE him ready..You just have reevaluate your surroundings, can you wait until he's ready and just appreciate the time you have together? Or do you need to jump into another relationship so you can have a baby?? Believe me!!!! I know how much you NEED to appreciate your time together before kids. I got pregnant when I was 17. You aren't even 21 yet, wait until you've lived a little, go out have fun. Make good friends and stay busy. Babies aren't everything but they will take everything! Everything you make, feel, are...they are little leaches...I know I have 2! I love them endlessly, but I never got that time to relax or have fun..I didn't get to got to college, I work hard now and I 'm married and I love my life...but it's not just because I have children that I'm happy...Think about all the opportunities you have!! you could go to college, you can start saving money for the future, you can travel...Having a baby right now will limit you and you'll end up feeling resentful in some ways, APPRECIATE yourself and your life and realize that you may feel ready and you probably are in some ways, but in 10 years when you have 2-3 kids you'll look back and thank your lucky stars you waited until after you had lived a little!!! Please rethink it!!!

Answer 7

You cannot make him ready, neither convince him. He will turn out to be a bad daddy even if he tries his best. You cannot decide for him, it is also up to him to get to the point where you are now. Parenting is about two people and not about the mother-in-law and the wife. He will come around but give him his chances and time. Furthermore, you have just been together for a year. That is a short period of time, too short to have put your relationship to the test. Being nineteen is also not being mature yet, even if you may think so. A woman of 28 is completely different in her ways than a nineteen year old.

Think about it and don't be stubborn, thinking you will know best because in the end there will be a child involved and there will be a heavy price to pay.

Answer 8

The thing is, you BOTH have to be ready. You may be ready now, but if he's not ready, there's no way to make him ready. He has to be ready on his own. If you love him, you have to wait until he's ready, otherwise, if you try to push him to get ready, it could very well end in disaster.

Don't listen to anyone that might have or will tell you that you need to be married first, that's their own (religious) beliefs. You get married when you BOTH feel the time is right, and have a child when you BOTH feel the time is right, regardless of the order in which you do it in.

Just make sure that you're committed enough to each other and love each other unconditionally before having a child. At least have plans to get married sometime in the future before having a child though, but you don't have to be married first. Along with that, make sure you're also:

-Financially ready
-Live in a safe environment
-Prepared to give up a big part of your social life
-Mature enough
-Ready to give a child your undivided attention for the next 18 years.

Good luck with everything!

Answer 9

You both have to want the baby and be ready to take the responsibility of rearing a child. It's literally a lifetime commitment---your child's lifetime. If your boyfriend isn't ready, then wait. And question why you want a child at this point in your life. You are young and have time to get an education, a good job and experience life before you begin having children. Enjoy the time you have now, because if you do have a baby, you won't have any!

Answer 10

You can't make him ready!! A baby will not make you closer, you need a strong relationship before you have a baby! A baby is alot of work and will put a strain on your relationship(don't get me wrong a child is a blessing)!! What makes you think that you are ready to have a child, you are still a teenager!! Please think of the child well being, you are too young! Maybe here a thought get married first! When you are both ready it will be a blessing! But if he's not ready and you have a child, it will be hard on your relationship!

Answer 11

You two need to be married for one
You need money and health insurance for you and the baby
You need your car, house and everything

You are 19, you have not lived your life to the fullest yet (college and what not)

Just because you think you are ready does not mean your BF is ready. Yeah he is 25 years old...he may not want to be tied down with a child right now in his life. He probably has goals that he wants to accomplish before marriage and a child. You need to take that into consideration. Having a baby is not going to make your relationship with him any better. If you relationship is not growing now, a baby in the picture is just going to make it go down hill.

He is just your BF so therefore he has no obligation to you to support you financially if you get pregnant and I pray that you do not get pregnant on purpose to try and trap the man. So if you were to get pregnant you need to provide your own money and health insurance to cover the expenses of your prenatal care and the well baby care the baby needs after birth. You probably never even had those issues cross your mind. It is easy to say you want to have a baby but there are a lot of things that you need to look at before even thinking of getting pregnant.