I'm Christian and I want to go to heaven and all..they say to love your neighbor as yourself but when I do that I always get taken advantage of..I've pretty much grown up alone..I also wonder if there is a way I could still be nice without getting taken advantage of?? How could I achieve this?
2006-08-14 07:19:53 · 32 answers · asked by Yuri ^_^ 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I HAVE HAD THIS SAME PROBLEM WITH SOME NEIGHBORS , I SIMPLY TOLD THEM I COULDN'T DO ANYTHING FOR THEM ANYMORE AND THEY QUIT CALLING AND TALKING .. I WASN'T MEAN OR ANYTHING I JUST GOT TIRED OF BEING TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF .. THERE ARE OTHER FRIENDS THAT WONT DO THIS TO YOU,,,
2006-08-14 07:25:32 · answer #1 · answered by MARY B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are being nice to the wrong people. Some people just aren't worth being nice to and if you are they are only going to see what they can take from you, that might not be a very christian attitude but it does happen to be reality. The only way your christian values work is if EVERYONE is following those same rules and they aren't, you've seen it for yourself now. You are trying to win a race when your opponents are perfectly willing to whack you in the knee in order to get the better of you, guess what you'll lose that race everytime. Yes you can be 'nice', but what does that mean? You have to use your common sense, listen to that little voice in your head that says hmmm something isn't right about this situation and you have to believe peoples actions not their words and you have to not do too much for people until you actually know who they are and what they are about. There are always clues around to that, look for them, see them and believe them. Look at the relationships those people have with other people. You didn't say exactly how you have been taken advantage of so its hard to say what things you should be looking for but common sense will cover most of it.
2006-08-14 07:27:53 · answer #2 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
There's a difference in being nice to people, and being a doormat...stop being a doormat.
It's okay to say "no"..it's okay to not allow yourself to be used (you are the only one that can control that)...
Loving your neighbor, doesn't mean you have to do everything they say...it means you care about them as human beings...if they are in TRUE need, you should do what you can to help others (it's just the right thing to do) but don't allow yourself to be taken advantage of...that's on you...
Stop worrying so much about being liked...if there were such a thing as heaven or hell, you certainly wouldn't go just because you stood up for yourself...and if that's all it took to send you there, why would you want to honor or worship some entity that would do that? *shakes head*
Get a spine, and learn to use it...if someone asks you to do something you don't want to, smile and say "I'm sorry, but not this time" and if you can, have an alternative already thought up for them so you can suggest they try something else, or ask someone else...
2006-08-14 07:27:03 · answer #3 · answered by . 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
First of all, although your religion tells you to turn the other cheek and always to be nice and helpful, you have to stand back and look at the society you are living in.
This will tell you that, in order to survive, you have to develop
a) a thicker skin
and
b) distance.
You have to learn to say no, because if someone finds that you can be imposed upon once, you are going to be imposed upon ALWAYS. There are people who can literally smell others' weaknesses - that's why psychopaths have no trouble finding their victims - and you don't want to become a target for all of those nasty people who want to use you and then drop you.
Since this is - in your case - tied up with your perception and understanding of your faith, I suggest you speak with your pastor/priest. Tell him that you want to be compassionate without being taken advantage of. And if the response is not helpful to you, I am sure you can find a counsellor or teacher or other older, wiser person who can help you find the proper balance.
Good luck!
2006-08-14 07:29:43 · answer #4 · answered by kerangoumar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are ways to politely decline things that people ask you to do for them. This does not make you mean. Being nice is not about doing everything someone tells you to do. Being nice means treating the other person with respect even if you disagree with them or won't do what they say. Learn how to say no in a respectful way and you will still be a nice girl.
2006-08-14 07:25:02 · answer #5 · answered by knmardix 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The two are not mutually exclusive. There is a difference between being nice and allowing yourself to be taken advantage of.
There is an old (Russian) saying: "Trust your neighbor, but watch your back anyway..."
2006-08-14 07:24:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
when you find out, let me know. I am not christian, but I am also too nice and I get taken advantage of all the time. I think there is a fine line between being nice and getting walked all over. you just have to find that line! good luck!
2006-08-14 07:23:43 · answer #7 · answered by olayak 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think i am like you.. people use to ask me favors all the time.. i do them but there was a point where ppl were taken advantage of me.. too much of anything is not good.. too much love destroys ppl.too much money makes ppl greedy.. too much kindness makes ppl take advantage of you.. you just need to know when to say no..i mean you wont be mean.. people might notice a drastic change but when they see that they will move away and find someone else to take advantage of.. make yourself hard to get and intiminating..being nice isnt bad.. find someone you appreciates you for your kindness..maybe when you do favors..God will award good things to you.. GOd rewards great people..maybe ppl see you as a gift from God..someone that is brought from earth to do great things.. your a good person.. SMile and appreciate yourself..
2006-08-14 07:28:48 · answer #8 · answered by girl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you just have to be nice, but also learn when to say to or just know when people have crossed the line. And believe me when i say this, i went through this firsthand. Just don't worry about what people think. Say you are talking to someone. Then they cross the line and offend, let's say, your best friend. Don't just laugh along, even if it is true. Because somehow, word WILL get around to your friend,even if you just giggled at the comment. (then she will get mad at you cause you didn't defend her, and a whole new drama starts and yada yada yada) So just say "You have crossed the line. That is my BFF, don't tallk that way around her." (example)
If you do things like that, people won't take advantage of you. Just think of it this way; people will only take advantage of you if you let them.
2006-08-14 07:29:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well im sure not all people are like this, im not saying anything wrong but could it be how you approach a person, or could it be that there not having a good day there is lots to consider for this matter and trying to find out why they are like this with you may be a good idea just ask them what have i done wrong...
2006-08-14 07:27:56 · answer #10 · answered by Mattie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you are meant be mean when people do take advantage of you you should stand up for yourself God also said that get all of your army and fight till the end ( more biblical) so when they do take advantage of you say something and don't let them push you around.
2006-08-14 07:25:14 · answer #11 · answered by spongygf 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋